Front row seats for PTA

[pitapta]

I’ve name changed because a few people know my usual username on here and I’d rather not be linked to the following petty moaning…

I know there are bigger things to worry about at the moment BUT this has really left a bad taste in my mouth. I attended DD’s first ever school play this morning with my partner. She’s our PFB and this is the first time we’ve seen her in a school production so were really looking forward to it. I was told yesterday by a fellow parent that, although the play didn’t start for an hour, parents queued from drop off time so we wrapped up and joined the queue. We weren’t first but were three couples from the front of the queue. Waited in the freezing cold until doors opened at the start time only to be greeted by ‘reserved’ signs on the entire front row. Obviously didn’t know who these seats were reserved for so we dutifully took our seats on the second row before a bunch of the PTA waltzed in and took their front row seats. I had to ask two of them to lower their phones during the performance so I could actually see.

Is this normal? I couldn’t believe it. Surely it’s first come, first served and the fact we’d been queuing in the cold for an hour meant we should get the seats we wanted?

The show was great; I know this is the important thing but I still feel really cross and like this is deeply unfair. I wanted to email the school but my DP thinks they’re label me as pathetic and ignore it anyway.

AIBU and should I say something?

Your school plays must be a lot better than ours 😂

I mean obviously we as parents think they’re brilliant but not sure others would agree!

I think that's a good idea.

I thought PFB stood for Pert Fuck Buddy but I assume it may be Precious First Born 🤮

you expect thanks? And count the frequency you are thanked,to the percentage. How very needsy
our PTA are screaming self publicists who will prolifically email and WhatsApp to herald their magnificent contributions. They make sure it’s known. Then they act surprised when the HT presents the QueenBee with flowers and chunters on about their contribution

My DC school used to do this, i was on pta for a few yrs & we never asked for it. However at schools request pta were all helping with getting stuff ready, serving teas etc to all those in the queue so had no opportunity to get in line. So i think it was fair enough to be guaranteed a seat

I'm a Drama teacher and don't allow this. Don't allow governors to reserve front row seats either - they're not even parents at the school! SLT make me allow the governors reserved seats but I put them about 4 rows back.

I will reserve good (maybe 2nd row rather than 1st) seats for parents who are helping out beforehand and can't queue (that's not a PTA role, it's a whoever has offered to help with hair and make up etc role) and for parents who need a wheelchair space. Nobody else.

Some of our parents are relentless in their attempt to sneak in and put coats on seats. They will rope in other children to help them do it before the end of the school day, literally crawl under the stage to get past locked doors (seriously!), tell other parents the seats are reserved when they aren't - constant war. We've actually considered the auctioning of the front row idea as it would raise a fortune - but just not fair on those who can't pay as much as others.

The worst ones are the families who come, en masse, to both nights and bag the front row both times. Seriously, you've seen it once, let someone else have a go!! Often, parents of children with lead roles think they have more right to front seats too whereas actually, if I could, I'd prioritise smaller roles because the leads have radio mics anyway and can easily be heard from anywhere.

I never did PTA as I never had the time of childcare.

But I definitely wouldn’t begrudge someone who was volunteering their small amount of free time to make the school a better place for my child.

I’m sure there are selfish reasons why they are doing it but they are still a valuable asset to the school which my child benefitted from and I think there should be a lot more perks to it.

Me too! Nice bit of classical music, get the children interested in music and dance: win/win!

It's not similar, you're adding a guilt trip to something different. That was reserved for a good reason. PTA reservation not so much.

I help on the PTA. School plays are to do with the school aren't they?

Did they walk in with their coats on?

Had they been in school already helping out?

What an absolutely fantastic idea! I have been on the school PTA committee for the last 6 years as well as running my business full time and DH working incredibly long hours. Like all primary parents we also have small and sometimes demanding children. Unsurprisingly, all of the PTA parents are like this and we work for the benefit of all children. We put in hours and hours of unpaid time- it's not unique or special.

Completely respect / understand that not everyone wants to / can do this but 😂 at you thinking queuing for an hour outside is a hardship and should automatically entitle you to the best of seats. Also your last 'I'm so busy reply'.... well, we all are.

I've been on the PTA- it's thankless. Giving up time to man stalls at Christmas fair, summer fair, school plays. Missing time with my own dc and parents consistently rude. I left after 3 years. I think the perk of a front row seat is the least they deserve. Often PTA money is used for school costumes or props so whilst they may not have contributed on the day, they may have overall.

I don't begrudge them a perk, they do loads.

at our school, a chunk of the front row tickets are raffle prizes which is great for fundraising.

My DS school used to do this until some parents made a fuss. Personally I think it's a small perk for all the work they put in throughout the year (my friend used to be PTA Chair and rarely got to spend any time with her own DC at school events as she was always running things). I know that although they felt they had to made the change, the PTA/Head did judge the complaining parents though. Especially the main protagonist who made a fuss about things needing to be fair for everyone then sent his MIL to queue for several hours to make sure she was first in and spread bags/coats/scarves across the entire front row to save seats for their extended family (who strolled in at the last minute looking smug). The following year they gave every child a raffle ticket and drew out a few to win 2 front row tickets. Much fairer.

Used to happen at our primary school and it seemed fair enough to me. The PTA put in hours of work making lots of extra-curricular things happen, and did all the setting up and refreshments at these events.

This

Normal at my DC's primary school too.
The PTFA put in a lot of time and effort into fundraising for "extras" the school would not benefit from otherwise. Eg: coaches to panto on our nearest city next week.

My school has done this! I’m calling completely disgusted!

Being on the PTA is pretty thankless at best, I don't see any harm in it. Chances are they've been involved behind the scenes somehow.

No, obviously not…

Well you sound like a horrible human being. How dare people volunteer their time to help out.

YABU

feel free to join the PTA, I’m sure it would be appreciated.

I chaired the school PTA for 7 years.

Never once sat down for a show despite taking, editing and selling high quality photos of every child in their costume, videoing every show, editing and putting on DVD, buying and selling mince pies and refreshments and organising the biggest raffle and disco of the year.

I made sure that the regular helpers (about 4) got their first choice of seat.

I stood through every performance recording them so my parents got my front row seats. I don’t think that’s at all unfair.

I wanted to email the school but my DP thinks they’re label me as pathetic

DP is indeed correct, don’t be that parent.

...and the end of your comment is exactly why you don't get as many people helping as you'd like.

All wearing very tall hats!