Front row seats for PTA

[pitapta]

I’ve name changed because a few people know my usual username on here and I’d rather not be linked to the following petty moaning…

I know there are bigger things to worry about at the moment BUT this has really left a bad taste in my mouth. I attended DD’s first ever school play this morning with my partner. She’s our PFB and this is the first time we’ve seen her in a school production so were really looking forward to it. I was told yesterday by a fellow parent that, although the play didn’t start for an hour, parents queued from drop off time so we wrapped up and joined the queue. We weren’t first but were three couples from the front of the queue. Waited in the freezing cold until doors opened at the start time only to be greeted by ‘reserved’ signs on the entire front row. Obviously didn’t know who these seats were reserved for so we dutifully took our seats on the second row before a bunch of the PTA waltzed in and took their front row seats. I had to ask two of them to lower their phones during the performance so I could actually see.

Is this normal? I couldn’t believe it. Surely it’s first come, first served and the fact we’d been queuing in the cold for an hour meant we should get the seats we wanted?

The show was great; I know this is the important thing but I still feel really cross and like this is deeply unfair. I wanted to email the school but my DP thinks they’re label me as pathetic and ignore it anyway.

AIBU and should I say something?

It's not banned in all schools.
Our head said today we can film and take photos if we want to.

An assistant head who knows so little about PTA meetings you wonder if you can take two kids along?

I’m an ex PTA person. I spent many thankless hours organising fundraisers, pestering local firms for sponsorship, playing piano for various school functions and the like. I never had a chair reserved for me at my children’s school plays but if offered, I would not have refused.

@viques I’d actually happily do this! They only wore headgear though so alas not really an option.

Are other year groups doing productions? They might need costume help.

As others have said that's because those people were helping get 30 excited little bodies into the correct costume, wipe the tears of the nervous ones, retie the shepherd's belt for the 15th time, persuade them to go to the toilet before they go on etc. They'll have been at the school far longer than you doing all that.

So you'd expect them to help and then get back row seats? If you're bothered, then volunteer to help next time.

@JustLyra I’ve never been to one! Nearly went to one once but then wasn’t needed.

@MargaretThursday no they weren’t. They entered with the rest of us in their coats but just hadn’t been at the front of the queue.

AHT in Secondary means no experience of the dynamics of big fishes in a tiny pond/Primary Mums.

My PTA reserved seats for volunteers who helped at events. So they got a seat as they would be working taking tickets, helping with the raffle until the minute the event started. Also it was a way of encouraging parents to come along and volunteer at an event and get a seat. We were very strict that you had to be volunteering for that specific event to benefit though, and you had to have purchased a ticket, again for that specific date and time.

I don't think you are unreasonable at all if it wasn't a pta run event. Same thing happened at my DCs play, only time she had a main part and front 2 rows were pta reserved. It wasn't a pta event, and I used to listen to readers two mornings a week, but that was the wrong kind of volunteering to merit skipping the queue and bagging a good seat 🙄

Different if the reason they couldnt line up was because they were helping set up etc, but otherwise totally unfair.

When I was a governor at my DC"s primary I was always reserved a front row seat at nativity shows for any shows my DC WEREN'T in. But not for the ones they were in. I had to queue for those.
It really hacked me off tbh.
Any way I gave 10 years to the school and stayed on once my DC had left because they needed me....
I would have no issue with pta/ governors on front row. Being a governor has actual liabilities and is seriously hard work....

They still have a basic idea of how a PTA works and how parents juggle helping in school and parenting.

Its a very blatant thread anyway - another thread purely designed to have a go an activity mostly done by women.

Being on the PTA doesn't have many benefits. They work hard. I wouldn't begrudge them a front row seat.

Join the PTA. Problem solved. Or maybe you can't be bothered with all the work attached to being in the PTA...?

You can't put the PTA on your CV really, but where else would you - for example - organise, set up, and operate an event for 300+ people with a staff of 2, both of whom have a toddler with them at all times they're not doing paid work? Not forgetting the jury of peers prepared tell you exactly what was wrong with the event but suddenly disappear when it's time to volunteer for the next one. The head teacher of your kids' school is very wise IMO.

I totally understand this idea of PTA members needing some sort of perk but I can absolutely assure you that on this precise occasion, the PTA were not assisting the performance in any way, shape or form. It is definitely not the case that they were helping behind the scenes and would have been relegated to terrible back row seats had there not been a reserved row. Lots of you seem to think this might be the case.

So you're aware of how hard the PTA works, but you still see this as 'entitlement' despite admitting you were being unreasonable earlier in the thread? Still massively ignorant there, OP. I hope you've never expected any thanks for your job? Which you do, at least, get paid to do.

And in response to another thread, no, I make sure that the PTA events are run as fully as possible by volunteers and it's never, ever an assumption or expectation that school staff are needed to join in. There are staff members who do join in, because they want to and they understand that the events enrich the children's experiences. But I complete understand that teachers and support staff do not need extra work on top of everything they already do.

I think it's a perk for helping the school so much for free.

You were cold and miserable because you stood outside in December for ages! that's nothing to do with the PTA, you still would have been cold if they'd had the front seats or not. You still got 'something' out of queuing (which was entirely your decision), i.e. seats very close to the front rather than at the back/having to stand, like the parents who couldn't/didn't choose to queue. Nobody told you that those who wanted to queue would get front seats, so nobody broke any sort of promise to you!

Just because you didn't see the PTA doesn't mean they weren't helping kids get ready in the classrooms, sorting costumes/props in the days before hand, stayed to tidy up after, or did all the finances for the tickets. A seat one in front of you isn't exactly excessive!

I do get it would be irritating. But only as irritating as the people who start the queue for the school play at the school doors at 7.50 am and then save people spots. If you complain you look 'uncool'.

Honestly I think I still have scars from my kids' primary years

YABVVVU. The PTA usually contributes to school resources, things like iPads, coaches for trips, even school milk for the little ones. They organise events and fundraising throughout the year for the school. I think you’re really ignorant about the commitment these people will have put into creating your school’s community. They also have to put up with people moaning, but never helping. If you want a front row seat, sign up to help.

Perks for the PTA should absolutely be happening in all schools.

They are giving up their free time to help all children, so it's an absolute no brainer that they should get sone perks.

With regards to not being able to help if you have children, there are plenty of things to be done from home. I, fondly 😂, remember the 3 hours I once spent folding raffle tickets.

Missing the point that they put in hours and hours of volunteering for other events throughout the year, there.

Really, begrudging them a single perk on the basis that 'it's not faaaaaair'.

Never in my 2 years as PTA chair and about 7 on the committee did I get front row seats. Not a thing when my kids were at school.

PTA is a thankless task. Everyone's a critic, nobody wants to volunteer and prefers just to sit on the sidelines and moan. Fair play to them getting front row seats as a thank you from the school for all their hard work.