To ask my colleague to withdraw christmas holiday request.

[Jessiejuju]

OK I feel terrible about this but me and my colleague who I get on with quite well normally have both requested Xmas day off but our manager has said that only one of us can have it off and that we need to sort ot out.I have asked her to withdraw her request as her and her husband they have no kids normally go to her husbands parents on Xmas day but they also go everyweek so it's not like they never see them where as I on the other hand have a 4 year old Autistic son he normaly goes to nursery but his nursery closes 1 week before christmas and doesn't open until next year the shift in question is a 3 hour shift between 7 and 10 in the morning so she and her husband could still be at his parents for lunch time where as because I am a single mama and the nurseries are closed I have no one to watch my son yes I could pay someone but it would be extremely expensive and he would most likely be very distressed with having someone he is unfamiliar with in his home plus it would be difficult for said person as my son is non verbal.
I do feel bad asking her to do this but if she won't then I am going to have no choice but to leave my job.

Yep, especially in the care sector.

The lack of basic compassion on this thread astounds me.

It's first come first served and OP wasn't first.

OP booked in April. Colleague says she booked the same day. The manager should have sorted this ages ago but is too pathetic and is making them fight it out. It is not reasonable to expect a single parent of a SN child without much support to scrabble around for Xmas Day childcare this late.

I am childless, it doesn't mean I don't have plans but I'd give up my morning in these specific circumstances and I'd blame the shitty manager, not the OP.

I think Manger meant the needs of the company, not the staff needs.

The lack of basic compassion on this thread astounds me.

Sadly I'm not. It's very evident on this board lately.

Why are so many people reducing this to a dualistic, no choice situation between the OP and her colleague covering the shift.
Her colleague shouldn't always have to cover because she has no children but, at the same time, OP just can't do it.
Surely it isn't beyond the wit of the manager to sort something else out-they have been given time.

Where's the compassion for the work colleague

it’s almost unheard in my experience in the NHS to get two weeks easily at Xmas. I thought the care sector would be little different. Maybe the manager begrudges that leave, who knows.

Regardless of the rights and wrongs, it seems that the OP simply cannot work in Xmas Day. She cannot leave her young child home alone.

Giving up work or taking the sanction are the only options.

The important thing now OP is to tell your manager clearly asap that you cannot work that day. And see what the consequences will be. Better to be clear and direct at this stage.

@IAmTi

I don't think this is on the work colleague - I think this is on the employer and they most likely do have more than two options to cover that shift but just don't want to sort it out.

Even if you sympathise with the colleague more than the Op, some of the comments here are so lacking in basic empathy that it's depressing to read.

I totally agree. Or for the service user who in this climate is more likely to end up going without care

HerMajestysRoyalCoven, you are quite quick to dismiss the impact people carrying out jobs has on GDP, oh, just realised you didn't mention that at all! So ageing populations require much more expenditure on health care and pensions which are at the expense of productivity enhancing investments, how does your rationale work there then? All younger generations are of course a drain rather than the ageing demographic🤔

I am empathy for her but it's her problem. Not her colleagues and not her bosses. If she can't do it then she can't do it and will be spending Christmas day worrying about the disciplinary action sure to follow.

The only way I can see out of it is to infect either OP or her child with an illness that means she needs emergancy childcare leave.

What is your opinion on flexible working for non-parents?

Why should they?! They might also have their own reasons to wanting it off or be completely in capable of doing the work

What would happen if you called in sick?

Absolutely. You can feel the spite seething out of some posts.

My all means ask the colleague to swap but if she says no then tough. Why shouldn't she have it off.

dont mean to sound rude OP, but could you please use proper sentence structures in future, full stops and commas? It was quite hard to read that.

I guess all you can do is ask her and see what she says. She might be happy to let you have the holiday instead, or she might not. Just ask really nicely and if it comes to it, offer to let her have a day off instead of you at some point.

Heavyraindropsarefallingonmyhead, you are being disingenuous, a bankholiday where no paid childcare is available is absolutely going to result in people leaving their jobs, the OP has literally said they will do that. If you think parents not working doesn't impact on a child's outcomes, which inturn can impact society, I suggest you go and read some stats on that.

And capital letters asblindasabat??

Well, she probably won't get it off because she'll have to cover for the OP, because the OP cannot in fact leave her child unattended and is unlikely to be able to find suitable childcare. There's no point saying it's just "tough" for the OP, because the useless manager may well just bat it back and make it her colleague's issue rather than hiring agency staff to cover or working it themselves.

I’m struggling to understand what you’re saying but I didn’t say that all younger generations are a drain, and I recognised that we need people to do jobs. My point was that it’s assumed that all life will grow up to be net contributors whereas half the UK’s households are net beneficiaries, even if they are paying tax. If we have increasing expenditure on an increasingly elderly population then it doesn’t help having shedloads of kids who will become adults that are also reliant on the net contributors.

Flexible working for all seems work well but with many parents it is a necessity not a nice to have. There is a loss to the economy if parents' have to give up on work due to the lack of consideration many employers give it or when they are treating everyone the same regardless of context, it is unrealistic.

I've been noticing this more and more recently, hard to believe sometimes what some people are really thinking.