Page 9 | To cancel plans because of the football?

XmasConfusion · 2022-12-05T07:16:01+00:00

Dinner with two school mums next Saturday. Been planned for ages. Don't know them very well.. Me and my family are England fans and been watching and following pretty seriously. AIBU to not go on Saturday as its England v France?

OoooohMatron · 05/12/2022 13:42

DepIndoChridmadWidMe · 05/12/2022 12:52

YANBU. You don't want to miss England going out of the World Cup :)

Boooo! Have faith.

FettleOfKish · 05/12/2022 13:50

louderthan · 05/12/2022 13:26

I didn't go to a 30th birthday party in 2013 because I wanted to watch Andy Murray in the Wimbledon final so yeah YANBU in my book!

The date of the Wimbledon final is known well in advance. Why didn't you just decline the invite if you were so keen to watch it? If Andy Murray hadn't have got the final you could have said your plans had changed and could you possibly be a last minute addition.

neverbeenskiing · 05/12/2022 14:14

I don't care about football, and think it's pretty shameful that Qatar have been allowed to host. But I understand that football is hugely important to many people, so if I'd made plans with a group of people for Saturday I would be expecting them to be cancelled or for people to drop out. I couldn't get worked up about it. I'd definitely rather friends were honest instead of making up an excuse.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 05/12/2022 14:33

YellowTreeHouse · 05/12/2022 12:03

YABVU and it would be extremely rude to cancel because you want to watch a group of grown men kick around a football. It’s pathetic.

If you did this to me I would certainly never make plans with you again and would question your judgement and priorities.

Do you have any hobbies or interests? I'm sure we could all thnk up equally childish sneery things to say about them

There's no inherent worth or otherwise in people's interests, just differences. Are you threatened in some way by the fact that billions of people like football? What is the purpose of trying to denigrate it,do you feel better than someone who likes a sport that you dont for some reason?

GreenWheat · 05/12/2022 15:12

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 05/12/2022 14:33

Do you have any hobbies or interests? I'm sure we could all thnk up equally childish sneery things to say about them

There's no inherent worth or otherwise in people's interests, just differences. Are you threatened in some way by the fact that billions of people like football? What is the purpose of trying to denigrate it,do you feel better than someone who likes a sport that you dont for some reason?

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As a PP said, don't bother engaging with this poster, they have form....

Original poster

XmasConfusion · 05/12/2022 16:28

Thanks all

V funny to me people saying just tune into the final, don't need to watch every england game.

Also people saying "just blokes on a field kicking a ball". You could do that to anything. Theatre is just a bunch of people repeating words someone else wrote right?

But I do take all your points about letting them down. I should have been better organised

OP posts:

MillyMollyManky · 05/12/2022 16:57

Anyone else reminded of this?

Pearls1234 · 05/12/2022 17:01

XmasConfusion · 05/12/2022 16:28

Thanks all

V funny to me people saying just tune into the final, don't need to watch every england game.

Also people saying "just blokes on a field kicking a ball". You could do that to anything. Theatre is just a bunch of people repeating words someone else wrote right?

But I do take all your points about letting them down. I should have been better organised

You couldn’t have set it in stone until last night though, without knowing if England would even be in the match.

Don’t beat yourself up, it’s a valid interest/hobby and it’s ok to reschedule over an important event that ties in with that.

thelobsterquadrille · 05/12/2022 17:51

Allschoolsareartschools · 05/12/2022 13:37

Every now & then doesn't mean "constantly" now does it?
More polite to cancel entirely right?

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Well, IMO - yes.

I'd much rather someone cancel if they don't want to come, not feel obliged to turn up and sit there distracted.

But then I don't think agreeing to do something means you should be held to it no matter what. Things happen and plans change - it really doesn't need to be the end of a friendship.

bluegreygreen · 05/12/2022 17:52

For those who feel OP is not being unreasonable to cancel - do you teach your children to stick to their original commitment, or allow them to change from one event to another depending on which they prefer?

thelobsterquadrille · 05/12/2022 17:54

bluegreygreen · 05/12/2022 17:52

For those who feel OP is not being unreasonable to cancel - do you teach your children to stick to their original commitment, or allow them to change from one event to another depending on which they prefer?

It's not just changing from one event to the other, though.

For football fans, this is a big historical event. It's not the same as cancelling to see a different friend or to go the cinema.

MillyMollyManky · 05/12/2022 18:11

bluegreygreen · 05/12/2022 17:52

For those who feel OP is not being unreasonable to cancel - do you teach your children to stick to their original commitment, or allow them to change from one event to another depending on which they prefer?

The former, but not as an absolute. Treating any former commitment as binding over any later event is too rigid (think of Chidi in The Good Place, if you’ve seen it, missing his mother’s back surgery because he’d previously promised to help his nephew program his phone).

TeenDivided · 05/12/2022 18:25

thelobsterquadrille · 05/12/2022 17:54

It's not just changing from one event to the other, though.

For football fans, this is a big historical event. It's not the same as cancelling to see a different friend or to go the cinema.

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I think calling it 'historical' is hyperbole. We've been at the quarter finals plenty of times. If it were the final maybe.

It's clear here that football fans think it's important to them, but I still think cancelling something else fixed and in the diary is rude when it could have been forseen that England might have had a match that day.

SeasonFinale · 05/12/2022 18:36

They may be very grateful if you drop a message saying Sorry guys but the football is on. Let's rearrange it for the New Year. I would love it.

SeasonFinale · 05/12/2022 18:37

bluegreygreen · 05/12/2022 17:52

For those who feel OP is not being unreasonable to cancel - do you teach your children to stick to their original commitment, or allow them to change from one event to another depending on which they prefer?

Not usually but I would let them to watch an important world cup match.

ThinWomansBrain · 05/12/2022 18:39

have a conversation with them? for all you know they might be feelling exactly the same.

MrsRonaldWeasley · 05/12/2022 19:19

I don’t get cancelling plans for football but that’s cos it’s not my thing… but I would totally cancel a night out if it clashed with the Strictly final 🪩💃

thelobsterquadrille · 05/12/2022 19:24

TeenDivided · 05/12/2022 18:25

I think calling it 'historical' is hyperbole. We've been at the quarter finals plenty of times. If it were the final maybe.

It's clear here that football fans think it's important to them, but I still think cancelling something else fixed and in the diary is rude when it could have been forseen that England might have had a match that day.

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But for football fans, it is a big game that they don't want to miss. It's not like they can watch the same match on another night or at another time - the whole point is that it's a live sporting event.

Not everything that's in the diary has to be a concrete plan. Things change. People should be able to change their minds without constantly worrying about causing offence 😬

Choosing football over a meal out isn't personal because you can have a meal out anytime. OP isn't suggesting she misses someone's wedding or a 90th birthday or a funeral. It's just dinner.

FettleOfKish · 05/12/2022 21:42

It's just dinner

And for many people, it's just football.

England have reached the semi-finals in 12 of the 18 WC tournaments they've entered, It's hardly a once in a lifetime event. This is the 8th time in my lifetime and I'm not 40 yet.

A final is maybe different; but then a hardcore football fan wouldn't make plans on World Cup final day, just in case.

Florenz · 05/12/2022 22:24

FettleOfKish · 05/12/2022 21:42

It's just dinner

And for many people, it's just football.

England have reached the semi-finals in 12 of the 18 WC tournaments they've entered, It's hardly a once in a lifetime event. This is the 8th time in my lifetime and I'm not 40 yet.

A final is maybe different; but then a hardcore football fan wouldn't make plans on World Cup final day, just in case.

England have not reached the semi-finals in 12 World Cups! 2 in my lifetime, 2018 and 1990, and at least one more in 1966. Maybe some others from before I can remember.

Florenz · 05/12/2022 22:28

Nope, 3 in total, 1966 when we won. 1990 and 2018. Three times in the 92 year history of the tournament.

eastegg · 05/12/2022 22:33

thelobsterquadrille · 05/12/2022 17:54

It's not just changing from one event to the other, though.

For football fans, this is a big historical event. It's not the same as cancelling to see a different friend or to go the cinema.

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Look, I’ll be allowing myself to be caught up in it all on Saturday with my kids and I understand it’s a big deal, but no way is it historical. It’s a quarter final.

NoSquirrels · 05/12/2022 22:33

FettleOfKish · 05/12/2022 21:42

It's just dinner

And for many people, it's just football.

England have reached the semi-finals in 12 of the 18 WC tournaments they've entered, It's hardly a once in a lifetime event. This is the 8th time in my lifetime and I'm not 40 yet.

A final is maybe different; but then a hardcore football fan wouldn't make plans on World Cup final day, just in case.

England haven’t reached the semi-final yet - next Saturday is the quarter-final. None of the teams are in the semi-finals yet!

BadLad · 05/12/2022 22:35

Florenz · 05/12/2022 22:24

England have not reached the semi-finals in 12 World Cups! 2 in my lifetime, 2018 and 1990, and at least one more in 1966. Maybe some others from before I can remember.

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No others. Those are the only three times. Also three times in the European Championship.

FettleOfKish · 05/12/2022 22:39

Hands up, apologies, it's 9 times they've reached the quarter finals or above.

My point remains, regardless of which part of the tournament, this match is not a once in a lifetime historic event, like the final would be (at a push).