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Original poster

Mum's boyfriend kicking her out of their home after 24 years

383 replies

heathspeedwell · 04/12/2022 19:44

Just found out that my mum's partner has sold their house and is kicking her out. She doesn't know yet.

They aren't married but she invested £25k into their first home, which they bought for £125k. Her name has never been on the deeds.

They have moved house four times and their current home is worth maybe £800k. She's done loads of DIY and they have also had lodgers that she has done the work for. She paid £30k for the kitchen last year.

My mum's boyfriend's son (whom I have thought of as a stepbrother) has said that his dad plans to give my mum back the £25k from their first house. We are both shocked that his dad is being so mean.

Although they are not married I can't believe that he can get away with just giving her the £25k. If she can prove she bought the kitchen does that give her any rights at all?

Hoping that someone can give me advice on what my mum should do. Is it better if she stays in the house until they reach a fair settlement or is she better to get away as soon as possible?

OP posts:
Goingforarun · 04/12/2022 22:16

24k was 20% of the original cost. So she should think about getting close to 200k now. Though the fact that they had lodgers ( a business) perhaps counts for something.
either way get proper legal advice as soon as

Dixiechickonhols · 04/12/2022 22:17

Please tell your mum to get some specialist legal advice. There is an equitable remedy called beneficial interest but it’s not easy to prove and each case depends on evidence. Tell your mum to get together any documents showing what she has paid towards property or any home improvements so she can show Solicitor.

Dixiechickonhols · 04/12/2022 22:19

She can’t register matrimonial home rights at land registry as she’s not married. That’s just available to protect married people who live in a home they don’t own from having to leave immediately.

AutumnIsHere21 · 04/12/2022 22:23

70 and 74 unless we start overpaying! Full time nursery fees are getting in the way of that a bit at the mo!

AutumnIsHere21 · 04/12/2022 22:24

Oops! Wrong thread!

exits stage left

Moveoverdarlin · 04/12/2022 22:36

I can understand not wanting to get married, but if they’ve moved four times since that first house, which she contributed 25k to, she was bonkers not to have her name on the deeds or the mortgage. Why didn’t she do this? She’s been nothing more than a lodger for the last 30 years.

MichelleScarn · 04/12/2022 22:40

Quite @Moveoverdarlin and at some point would you not feel an obligation to pay a part of the mortgage?

Backtoblack1 · 04/12/2022 22:45

Surely she has rights? X

Sparklypant · 04/12/2022 22:47

Moveoverdarlin · 04/12/2022 22:36

I can understand not wanting to get married, but if they’ve moved four times since that first house, which she contributed 25k to, she was bonkers not to have her name on the deeds or the mortgage. Why didn’t she do this? She’s been nothing more than a lodger for the last 30 years.

Maybe because she didn’t want to pay the mortgage. If she wasn’t willing to contribute she can’t demand she goes on the deeds. As said, different if young kids involved, but this doesn’t seem to be the case, and the op says she has money. It seems she has accepted it’s his house on the understanding she doesn’t pay

TheFormidableMrsC · 04/12/2022 22:48

Backtoblack1 · 04/12/2022 22:45

Surely she has rights? X

Nope!

TheFormidableMrsC · 04/12/2022 22:49

Dixiechickonhols · 04/12/2022 22:19

She can’t register matrimonial home rights at land registry as she’s not married. That’s just available to protect married people who live in a home they don’t own from having to leave immediately.

Not matrimonial but she can register. I know somebody who has just done this on advice from solicitor, also unmarried.

kateandme · 04/12/2022 22:51

Is he a good person genuinely? Is the split a peaceful one and he honestly might think this is what he's owed and has even has advice himself due to owning,paying mortgage etc?

Goldpaw · 04/12/2022 22:52

Paying for a new kitchen in a house you don't own and have no claim to seems foolhardy to me.

There's possibly something to be done about the increase in value of the £25,000 if she can prove she paid it towards the house.

Not getting married is one thing, but to then not have any kind of legal documentation drawn up is a bit silly.

She needs to see a lawyer asap to see if anything can be salvaged.

Dixiechickonhols · 04/12/2022 22:52

TheFormidableMrsC · 04/12/2022 22:49

Not matrimonial but she can register. I know somebody who has just done this on advice from solicitor, also unmarried.

Show quote history

Yes she might be able to establish a beneficial interest but as a previous poster has explained in detail it’s complex and depends on evidence. Definitely get specialist legal advice asap from a solicitor specialising in that area.

Dixiechickonhols · 04/12/2022 22:58

Is it possible she did have paperwork drawn up confirming her interest when they first bought property but she’s forgotten?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 04/12/2022 23:00

She certainly is hard working and careful with money

Clearly not careful enough, if she's invested so heavily in a house that isn't hers but belongs to a man she's not married to, and with no protections in place

As so many have said, all she can do is get legal advice asap and hope

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/12/2022 23:03

TooTrusting · 04/12/2022 20:47

She mustn't leave the house. She also needs to register an immediate restriction at Land Registry to stop him completing on the sale until her interest in it has been agreed/determined.
There are 2 levels of property ownership in England/Wales (which I am assuming is the relevant jurisdiction). Legal - who owns it on the paperwork - and beneficial - who really owns it.
So this is a claim to a beneficial interest.
The claims are that there is either a resulting or constructive trust (the latter being the most common) or a claim under proprietary estoppel. All require an agreement or common intention and a direct contribution, and she must have acted to her detriment in reliance on the agreement/promises/understanding.
She will need to go back to when she made those payments and set out her recollection as to what was said.
Non financial contributions are not going to get her an interest (but might be evidence of agreements/promises/common intention and may be deemed to be acts in reliance and to her detriment.)
Contributions to household bills are meaningless.
Her right to register a restriction to stop the sale proceeding without her consent hangs on her argument that she has a beneficial interest.
She could agree that the sale goes ahead if there are compelling reasons to do so and she has somewhere else to live, but only if say 50% of the proceeds remain in the solicitors bank account, plus an immediate partial distribution to her if she needs money.

She needs to make a clear list of what direct contributions she has made, to what, when and how much. And to have a think how she will find evidence to prove them. Also a list of what she has done to her detriment in relying on an express agreement or an implied agreement based on assumed common intention. This will make it easier for the solicitor to give clearer advice.
These claims and the evidence underpinning them are quite subtle so she is likely to be taken to see a barrister at an early stage. She ought to budget for this - around £2-3,000 in the provinces.
The solicitor will write a letter before claim and there may then be a bit of haggling. I'd get on and issue proceedings if he is being very unreasonable (not linking her £25k to subsequent increases in value, followed through the different sales/purchases being unreasonable)

Show quote history

I have no legal training but this sounds worthwhile and I do hope your mum gets a decent amount of money from the sale op. It is disgusting that he thinks 25k will cut it!

Nosleepforthismum · 04/12/2022 23:07

Hi OP. Ex-conveyancer here. I agree with the other posters that she needs to get legal advice as to what she would be entitled to but if she stays in the property, her ex will not be able to sell without her consent. She will need to sign the contract in her capacity as an occupier and he will not be able to exchange contracts without your mums agreement. Of course, if he’s a complete knobber he may well lie and say there are no adult occupiers in the property which is why it’s so important that she gets her own solicitor who will be able to liase with his to make sure anything underhand can’t take place but I strongly recommend she stays in the property until she has been properly and legally advised.

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/12/2022 23:10

Don’t delay in telling your mum op. Your stepbrother has given you a heads up. Your mum would do well to do her homework before he tells her so I’d encourage her to not divulge that she knows.

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/12/2022 23:11

OP you really should have said that she didn't pay rent or mortgage for 24 years in the OP. Because the fact that she's lived for a quarter of a century with no housing costs is pretty salient.

And if she has, she should have savings. Does she want another 25 years with no housing costs?

I'm normally #TeamWoman on here pretty shamelessly. In this case I can see why he'd be cheesed off with her asking for cash when he's paid for the mortgage all these years.

MichelleScarn · 04/12/2022 23:12

How has she 'invested heavily'? 55k (deposit plus.kitchen) is about £190 a month contribution over the 24 years, not extortionate.

minou123 · 04/12/2022 23:22

For everyone advising Don't leave the house, Stay in the house She mustn't leave the house etc.

How does that work, on a practical level?
Are your suggesting Ops DM never physically leave the house?

Because surely the Op's DM needs to go out, either to work, shops or see a solicitor.

Then, her BF just needs to change the locks, lock her out and job done.
If Ops DM calls the police, all he has to do is show the house is in his name, and the police can't do anything. They'll just advise to take civil action.

Is that right? Or am I missing something?

JulieMarooley · 04/12/2022 23:24

55k plus some DIY and lodger admin is not a lot to pay for 24 years of housing.

However we don’t know if OP’s mum has paid for other big household costs like car, holidays, food; perhaps they both contributed equally to the overall household costs, in which case the house should (morally) be shared.

DelurkingLawyer · 04/12/2022 23:25

There is a case called Stack v Dowden which went to the Supreme Court about this precise situation. Your mum has rights and she should not delay at all in seeking legal advice.

The best advice I can give her and a specific recommendation is to contact Christopher Lundie, the barrister who was in Stack v Dowden. He takes direct access instructions so she won’t need to go through a solicitor first. These cases are complicated and a solicitor will need a barrister’s advice anyway so she may as well save some money by cutting out the middleman. Google him.