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Original poster

Mum's boyfriend kicking her out of their home after 24 years

383 replies

heathspeedwell · 04/12/2022 19:44

Just found out that my mum's partner has sold their house and is kicking her out. She doesn't know yet.

They aren't married but she invested £25k into their first home, which they bought for £125k. Her name has never been on the deeds.

They have moved house four times and their current home is worth maybe £800k. She's done loads of DIY and they have also had lodgers that she has done the work for. She paid £30k for the kitchen last year.

My mum's boyfriend's son (whom I have thought of as a stepbrother) has said that his dad plans to give my mum back the £25k from their first house. We are both shocked that his dad is being so mean.

Although they are not married I can't believe that he can get away with just giving her the £25k. If she can prove she bought the kitchen does that give her any rights at all?

Hoping that someone can give me advice on what my mum should do. Is it better if she stays in the house until they reach a fair settlement or is she better to get away as soon as possible?

OP posts:
VejaVagVagina · 04/12/2022 21:26

Also I thought if you have been living in a house for 2+ years you're classed as an owner? Call me out if I'm wrong but I'm sure that's what I learned years ago.

BirmaBrite · 04/12/2022 21:28

If she removed the kitchen and any bathrooms to the value of her initial deposit of 25k then the property would be uninhabitable and most lenders would see it as a major issue and would massively devalue the property.

MichelleScarn · 04/12/2022 21:29

VejaVagVagina · 04/12/2022 21:26

Also I thought if you have been living in a house for 2+ years you're classed as an owner? Call me out if I'm wrong but I'm sure that's what I learned years ago.

Also not a lawyer but surely not!!

LeilaRose777 · 04/12/2022 21:30

The very very first thing she needs to do is to register her "interest" in the property via the Land Registry so he can't sell it out from under her. She needs a solicitor asap, don't wait, pay upfront if you can, just get her into a solicitors office tomorrow if possible. She is entitled to a heck of a lot more than her 25k stake.

LexMitior · 04/12/2022 21:30

VejaVagVagina · 04/12/2022 21:26

Also I thought if you have been living in a house for 2+ years you're classed as an owner? Call me out if I'm wrong but I'm sure that's what I learned years ago.

You are very wrong. That is in no way true.

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/12/2022 21:32

If she's hardworking and careful with money and hasn't had a mortgage or rent to pay for 24 years, surely she's got massive savings. I bloody would in that case.

I think before you advise her, you need to know what the arrangement was. If she wasn't paying and he was, a kitchen seems like decent 'rent'!

BirmaBrite · 04/12/2022 21:33

When you say he has sold it @heathspeedwell do you mean contracts have been exchanged ?

Redbone · 04/12/2022 21:34

I feel for your mum but surely she realised that this could happen by not being married. She was very foolish not having her name on the deeds.

BirmaBrite · 04/12/2022 21:36

What year did they buy the house for 125k ? how much did they sell it for , as in how much did that initial investment increase in value ?

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 04/12/2022 21:38

I used to work for a lawyer. It’s complex but someone will advise her. Tell her not to leave the house.

I wouldn’t trust your “stepbrother” that much either.

For what it’s worth, a few years ago DM met the man who I call my stepdad but they never married and have been together over 40 years. She paid off the mortgage in her 40s mostly by herself and with money from her own interests although he did pay rent over the years and did things DIY ways to the house. The relationship has been a bit up and down over the years and stepdad has a house abroad which they both own. The house is now in both their names but for years it was In DM’s name solely and she worried if they did split up she’d have to sell the house to give him half of the proceeds. Luckily it’s all sorted out now in a costly and complex will but its watertight legally.

My DM had been married and divorced twice and had the house as part of her divorce settlement and didn’t want a third marriage and stepdad didn’t want marriage to her either.

Skodacool · 04/12/2022 21:46

bellac11 · 04/12/2022 20:38

Im not married. I own the majority of the house. Its all there on the legal paperwork how this house is owned and what would happen if we split up and who owes who what

I also dont want to be married and I dont need to be. The marriage thing that gets thrown up here all the time is a red herring. She had every opportunity to take control of her finances and how to secure proof of where they went and work out the ownership, she didnt need to be married to do that

But as others have said, she has been living without cause to pay mortgage or rent for 24 years so there is a balance there about what she has paid in

Show quote history

That was fine for you but OP didn’t protect her financial interests, in which case being married would have done it for her.

catmum88 · 04/12/2022 21:46

Your poor mum. I do understand people being against marriage, but I think they don’t realise the risk of failing to do it. It exists for a reason and is more than just a piece of paper. She needs to take proper legal advice, but will never get what she would have done if they had been married.

BadNomad · 04/12/2022 21:53

What was she thinking. What was her plan if he suddenly dropped dead? Your mother needs to go get a solicitor, which she can pay for out of the 24 years of savings she'll have from not paying rent, right? Foolish woman.

InSummertime · 04/12/2022 21:53

She needs to stay she needs to lodge a declaration of interest in the house asap via a solicitor and the land register. If she paid 25% of their first home - but had nothing in writing I would try to get him to admit it - even in a text - she needs receipts for everything she paid for and bank statements. If she put 25% how much did he put in? Then who paid the mortgage? What did she pay?

she must not agree to anything - she has good ground for a 50/50 if it can be proven

InSummertime · 04/12/2022 21:55

She needs to tell the estate agent and his solicitor she isn’t moving - but he could change the locks and do it anyway. Solicitor tomorrow

Layersoftaytoes · 04/12/2022 21:58

😮

Sparklypant · 04/12/2022 22:00

I think all this register a claim etc is concerning, if the genders were reversed and it was a man trying to take a woman’s house when she’d paid foe him for 24 years to live there, thr responses would be very different, he’d be called a cock lodger and she’d be told to call the police to get him out. To change the locks, I’ve seen it so many times in here.

she needs to see a lawyer, but she’s not entitled to his home for goodness sake and rhe odds of a solicitor advising she can have any of his house after living there rent free for 24 years is non existent

if there were young kids involved, yes she may , just may get a beneficial interest ie under the children’s act, , but if she agreed, she would not go on the deeds, and she’d never pay a penny in rent, or to the mortgage, she can’t then say she should have it,

if he’s sold the house from under her he’s a shit, but the law isn’t punitive, it won’t gift it to her as he’s a shit.

Clarinet1 · 04/12/2022 22:02

I agree with everyone saying that the DM needs urgent legal advice but the thing that stands out to
me is that, if the STBX is offering the return of the £25K she initially invested in the first property 25 years ago, this should at least be adjusted for inflation.

FloydPepper · 04/12/2022 22:02

InSummertime · 04/12/2022 21:53

She needs to stay she needs to lodge a declaration of interest in the house asap via a solicitor and the land register. If she paid 25% of their first home - but had nothing in writing I would try to get him to admit it - even in a text - she needs receipts for everything she paid for and bank statements. If she put 25% how much did he put in? Then who paid the mortgage? What did she pay?

she must not agree to anything - she has good ground for a 50/50 if it can be proven

You ask the right questions (who paid what) but without the answers assume she can get half.

pretty sure a bloke not contributing then expecting half would get short shrift on his thread…

Schnooze · 04/12/2022 22:05

Don’t let her move out. If she isn’t entitled to anything then he’ll have to offer her more to get her out of the house on completion day.

SupermarketMum · 04/12/2022 22:08

How has he sold her house without her realising? Surely there would have been viewings??

EmmaAgain22 · 04/12/2022 22:09

"pretty sure a bloke not contributing then expecting half would get short shrift on his thread…"

right. The other moral of the story is never ever let anyone just casually move in with no legal agreement.

LexMitior · 04/12/2022 22:11

Of course she is not entitled to half if his house. It's his. She needs her 25k back, plus some.

Dixiechickonhols · 04/12/2022 22:15

VejaVagVagina · 04/12/2022 21:26

Also I thought if you have been living in a house for 2+ years you're classed as an owner? Call me out if I'm wrong but I'm sure that's what I learned years ago.

Of course not. No one would live with anyone or have a lodger.