My MIL has quite a different approach to myself and my own family to Christmas and Birthdays. For example on my birthday this year she insisted on driving in ver with a card and gift for me on my actual birthday, even though we were due to see her in a couple of days. To her it's important that the gift is given that day.
The reason I am posting is Christmas is getting too much. Every year she sends out her own Christmas lift, (usually there will be some quite expensive items that she would like) Then everyone else, myself, DH, BIL, SIL ect are expected to send a list back, to the family. People then select items from the lists of to be buy for each other. The problem is as the family's are growing, getting married, having DCs the amount of people to buy for is huge. I also don't expect anything and would never as an adult be send my own mother such a list. My Mum might ask me if there is something id like. I'd drop a few ideas and leave it at that. The lists are now so specific too, like some of MILs items had serial numbers included.
To me this defeats the object of giving a gift. I was told to be grateful for what I was given as a child. I actually enjoy looking for things for the DC, my parents, DH ect. I like to notice things and try to get something that fits in with them.
MIL is very middle class and I wonder if that plays a role in it. She has all of DFILs none to to spend where as the rest of us don't.
DH thinks it's normal but it's irritating me, we agreed not to get each other presents this year and the DCs are getting 5 gifts each. We don't want to over spend and it's all the plastic waste that we find depressing too. So this is how we would rather do Christmas.
AIBU to want to opt out of the lists? Do other families do this too?