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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that once you've eaten your share, that's it?

158 replies

CakeCakeAndMoreCakes · 03/12/2022 13:55

AIBU to think that people who eat their share and who then want everyone else's too, are incredibly annoying?

I had a few relatives visiting yesterday and I bought some fairly expensive individual cakes as a treat. My Uncle ate his with lunch then was put out and complained that there wasn't one left for him when we had ours later with tea and coffee. Other small cakes, mince pies and biscuits plus chocolate were still available.

I'm probably being petty but he has form for this. He seems to want his share and everyone else's too.

AIBU to think that generally speaking if you've had your share, that's it? You don't get to eat everyone else's too?

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 03/12/2022 14:05

Did he know they were expensive cakes?
I don't really think it's 'fair' that everyone gets the same amount of food. Different people need different amounts of food. It's quite likely your uncle needs more food than you.

Original poster
CakeCakeAndMoreCakes · 03/12/2022 14:08

Yes he knew they were expensive cakes and you can see that they are.

I agree that some people need more food but I'm talking about treat items here. I should have made that clear. He certainly wasn't starved and as mentioned there were plenty of other treat items available.

OP posts:
TheBitchOfTheVicar · 03/12/2022 14:09

@Gwenhwyfar

Other small cakes, mince pies and biscuits plus chocolate were still available.

NumberTheory · 03/12/2022 14:09

Gwenhwyfar · 03/12/2022 14:05

Did he know they were expensive cakes?
I don't really think it's 'fair' that everyone gets the same amount of food. Different people need different amounts of food. It's quite likely your uncle needs more food than you.

More food was available. Her uncle wanted more of a treat than everyone else.

NoSquirrels · 03/12/2022 14:10

You can’t have your cake and eat it too is a well known saying! Once it’s gone, it’s gone.

Obviously you’re not unreasonable. But if you want to avoid it and he’s known for having ‘form’, don’t do individual expensive desserts. So do something that’s easier to get more portions out of.

Magentax · 03/12/2022 14:11

Gwenhwyfar · 03/12/2022 14:05

Did he know they were expensive cakes?
I don't really think it's 'fair' that everyone gets the same amount of food. Different people need different amounts of food. It's quite likely your uncle needs more food than you.

I doubt he needs more cake than OP - nobody really needs cake at all!

NumberTheory · 03/12/2022 14:12

I think this depends a bi. Does he actually think he should get two of something and other people just have one or none (he is being unreasonable)? Or does he just want there to be more of the good stuff (less unreasonable, maybe even totally understandable but depends on how he expresses it)?

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/12/2022 14:16

You had other things so YANBU.

I have a couple of chronic under-caterers in my family (one naan between five people) and they are wrong. You're fine though!

ScottishLavender · 03/12/2022 14:17

Gwenhwyfar · 03/12/2022 14:05

Did he know they were expensive cakes?
I don't really think it's 'fair' that everyone gets the same amount of food. Different people need different amounts of food. It's quite likely your uncle needs more food than you.

Do you serve "penis portions" then? More food for the man just because he's a man?

Toomanysleepycats · 03/12/2022 14:19

Some people are just greedy.

Athenen0ctua · 03/12/2022 14:23

Gwenhwyfar · 03/12/2022 14:05

Did he know they were expensive cakes?
I don't really think it's 'fair' that everyone gets the same amount of food. Different people need different amounts of food. It's quite likely your uncle needs more food than you.

Treats should be equal, except maybe for very small children who would be happy with a half, as it's about enjoyment not nutrition. Bigger people can eat more basic foods to meet their requirements.

Athenen0ctua · 03/12/2022 14:25

ScottishLavender · 03/12/2022 14:17

Do you serve "penis portions" then? More food for the man just because he's a man?

Show quote history

I serve more everyday food to my DS as he's bigger than me and has higher energy needs at 16. Treats are equal!

AttilaTheUOkHun · 03/12/2022 14:28

expensive cakes and you can see that they are

Were they gold-plated?

Shoxfordian · 03/12/2022 14:29

Yanbu, he sounds very childish

Original poster
CakeCakeAndMoreCakes · 03/12/2022 14:32

Were they gold-plated?

No but they're clearly the more expensive patisserie type.

OP posts:
Original poster
CakeCakeAndMoreCakes · 03/12/2022 14:34

Does he actually think he should get two of something and other people just have one or none (he is being unreasonable)? Or does he just want there to be more of the good stuff (less unreasonable, maybe even totally understandable but depends on how he expresses it)?

The former. He's the sort to eat a whole packet of bacon or sausages, not caring if anyone else wants some.

OP posts:
JudyBlumesBlubber · 03/12/2022 14:34

Gwenhwyfar · 03/12/2022 14:05

Did he know they were expensive cakes?
I don't really think it's 'fair' that everyone gets the same amount of food. Different people need different amounts of food. It's quite likely your uncle needs more food than you.

A true argument for main courses as some people need more calories. Treats though are different. You get what is allocated to you assuming it’s all equal.

LolaSmiles · 03/12/2022 14:37

When it comes to items someone has bought in as a nice treat it's unreasonable for someone to expect extra. He's being greedy.

However, I'd not have made the nice treat cakes available at lunch time to avoid that situation and would have served them at afternoon tea with a tea/coffee.

Riverlee · 03/12/2022 14:43

i think he viewed it slightly differently. You viewed it that everyone gets one expensive cake per day. He viewed as two separate meals. Everyone had the chance of having a cake at the first sitting, but only he chose to do so. On the second meal, everyone wanted a cake. Unfortunately, as he’d already had one, you were now one short.

Original poster
CakeCakeAndMoreCakes · 03/12/2022 14:43

However, I'd not have made the nice treat cakes available at lunch time to avoid that situation and would have served them at afternoon tea with a tea/coffee.

He saw them as I had to collect them this morning and asked for his there and then or I would have done that.

OP posts:
Original poster
CakeCakeAndMoreCakes · 03/12/2022 14:44

That was the original plan until he spotted them.

OP posts:
Remainiac · 03/12/2022 14:45

Riverlee · 03/12/2022 14:43

i think he viewed it slightly differently. You viewed it that everyone gets one expensive cake per day. He viewed as two separate meals. Everyone had the chance of having a cake at the first sitting, but only he chose to do so. On the second meal, everyone wanted a cake. Unfortunately, as he’d already had one, you were now one short.

No, she wasn’t one short. There was a cake for everyone. The cakes were per person, not per course/meal.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/12/2022 14:47

"I doubt he needs more cake than OP - nobody really needs cake at all!"

Cake is not a need, that's true, but maybe he wasn't as full after the meal as OP was. Sometimes I 'need' afters if my meal was small.
Anyway, I get the point about it being a treat item rather than just food for fuel.

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 03/12/2022 14:50

Crikey! The lengths some people will go to to explain away someone's greed.

Y7drama · 03/12/2022 14:50

He sounds weird. What was his solution, that somebody should have given theirs up so he could have one in the afternoon, or you should have bought him two and everybody else one? Neither of those sound reasonable!