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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that once you've eaten your share, that's it?

158 replies

CakeCakeAndMoreCakes · 03/12/2022 13:55

AIBU to think that people who eat their share and who then want everyone else's too, are incredibly annoying?

I had a few relatives visiting yesterday and I bought some fairly expensive individual cakes as a treat. My Uncle ate his with lunch then was put out and complained that there wasn't one left for him when we had ours later with tea and coffee. Other small cakes, mince pies and biscuits plus chocolate were still available.

I'm probably being petty but he has form for this. He seems to want his share and everyone else's too.

AIBU to think that generally speaking if you've had your share, that's it? You don't get to eat everyone else's too?

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 03/12/2022 14:50

He saw them as I had to collect them this morning and asked for his there and then or I would have done that*
I feel sorry for you OP. He is extremely rude as well as greedy

Riverlee OP wasn't short. The relative decided to be rude and greedy instead of waiting for the person hosting to offer.
He'd probably have stuffed his face with 6 cakes at lunch if he thought he could.

BMW6 · 03/12/2022 14:52

Maybe he's just another greedy self centred cunt. Sounds like it.

Original poster
CakeCakeAndMoreCakes · 03/12/2022 14:52

I always over cater(except with expensive patisserie cakes). He had plenty to eat and other treats were available.

OP posts:
DenholmElliot11 · 03/12/2022 14:53

ScottishLavender · 03/12/2022 14:17

Do you serve "penis portions" then? More food for the man just because he's a man?

Show quote history

There's no such thing as "penis portions". Men need more calories than women because they are bigger, not because they have a penis. You wouldn't give a 3 year old boy a bigger portion than a 20 year old woman just because he's got a penis would you!

boboshmobo · 03/12/2022 14:53

@Gwenhwyfar you don't NEED cake ffs. !

He is greedy !

FruHagen · 03/12/2022 14:53

It's called being greedy. Also known as gluttony. Also known as a sin. You're not unreasonable to react to it so OP.

No more invites for your Uncle to dine at your place will fix this for you.

SkylightSkylight · 03/12/2022 14:55

CakeCakeAndMoreCakes · 03/12/2022 14:44

That was the original plan until he spotted them.

"No, you can't have one now. There's one per person & when we're all having ours later, you'll moan!! IF you're hungry, help yourself to xyz"

Original poster
CakeCakeAndMoreCakes · 03/12/2022 14:56

I think it's that he doesn't care if someone else goes without that bothers me so much. It isn't him wanting more cake that's the real issue as other treatments are available. I only see him 4 or 5 times a year but I'm tempted to make it even less often. He's always like this.

OP posts:
Jericha · 03/12/2022 15:01

YANBU. My friend thought I was selfish for eating a takeaway in front of her. The fact we both ordered the same thing and i explicitly stated I would eat half as I knew I'd appreciate the second half after a couple of wines later on while she chose to eat all of hers and not keep any back is apparently irrelevant Confused

Joyfuljolly · 03/12/2022 15:03

Blimey, did he learn nothing from Oliver Twist. His dare he ask for more,😂

Kanaloa · 03/12/2022 15:03

Gwenhwyfar · 03/12/2022 14:47

"I doubt he needs more cake than OP - nobody really needs cake at all!"

Cake is not a need, that's true, but maybe he wasn't as full after the meal as OP was. Sometimes I 'need' afters if my meal was small.
Anyway, I get the point about it being a treat item rather than just food for fuel.

But if he was left really hungry and ‘needed’ more, op has said there was more of other foods, just not this particular expensive treat.

He sounds greedy and selfish. Both unpleasant traits.

Cherrysoup · 03/12/2022 15:05

He’s an arse. Even if had been something like French fancies, if there were 6
people and 6 French fancies, then everyone has one, not two.

Joyfuljolly · 03/12/2022 15:06

I can’t see the issue. He wasn’t asking anyone else to give them his, he just wanted another cake, he had one for lunch fancied another, people are acting like wanting a second cake is a crime against humanity , calling him greedy and selfish,. Sorry uncle I only bought one each

how much were these cakes anyway. You keep going on about how expensive they were.

moksorineouimoksori · 03/12/2022 15:08

He is unreasonable in this circumstance. I'm sure you probably wouldn't care if someone had an extra slice of bread of something like that but these were gifted treats that everyone has one of each - that's fair. You say he has form for it too which sounds like he's just a selfish man.

I had to explain this to my sister who also had form for doing this when we were children. Eventually I had to tell her that it wasn't even really about the food, it was about respect - she was sending the message that she viewed herself as more important, that it was fair in her eyes for her to get two of something while I got absolutely nothing, that she didn't care about how it put me out to have to go and get food again instead of having it when I had planned to e.g. on an afternoon when I got home and I was very hungry.

She stopped doing it in her lateish teens fortunately. Unlike your uncle!

Original poster
CakeCakeAndMoreCakes · 03/12/2022 15:16

The individual cakes were £7.95 each which is fairly pricy to me but I thought it was a nice treat as I won't see my relatives again over Christmas.

I don't care about him asking for another. There could have been more. It's the way he expects everyone else to go without and doesn't care so long as he gets what he wants. He does it in some form every time. I said that I was sorry but there were only enough for everyone to have one each but pointed him to the other treats and he said well there's still 4 left so I'll have another. There were 5 of us and 5 cakes originally)

OP posts:
ArcaneWireless · 03/12/2022 15:16

Fine to ask for another.

Not fine to be ‘put out’ or ‘complain’ when told no.

That is rude.

and he’d only be getting a solitary rich tea from now on

Muststopeating · 03/12/2022 15:18

CakeCakeAndMoreCakes · 03/12/2022 15:16

The individual cakes were £7.95 each which is fairly pricy to me but I thought it was a nice treat as I won't see my relatives again over Christmas.

I don't care about him asking for another. There could have been more. It's the way he expects everyone else to go without and doesn't care so long as he gets what he wants. He does it in some form every time. I said that I was sorry but there were only enough for everyone to have one each but pointed him to the other treats and he said well there's still 4 left so I'll have another. There were 5 of us and 5 cakes originally)

He sounds like a complete and utter prick!

Pumpkintopf · 03/12/2022 15:20

Yep he was unreasonable.

(I wouldn't have let him have it at lunchtime since he has form for being like this)

Berthatydfil · 03/12/2022 15:20

CakeCakeAndMoreCakes · 03/12/2022 15:16

The individual cakes were £7.95 each which is fairly pricy to me but I thought it was a nice treat as I won't see my relatives again over Christmas.

I don't care about him asking for another. There could have been more. It's the way he expects everyone else to go without and doesn't care so long as he gets what he wants. He does it in some form every time. I said that I was sorry but there were only enough for everyone to have one each but pointed him to the other treats and he said well there's still 4 left so I'll have another. There were 5 of us and 5 cakes originally)

Wow how rude.

OP YANBU.
I assume all the people defending him on here would be more than happy to give him their cake so he had two and they had none?

stuntbubbles · 03/12/2022 15:20

Joyfuljolly · 03/12/2022 15:03

Blimey, did he learn nothing from Oliver Twist. His dare he ask for more,😂

We’re not talking more gruel, here. Everyone had an individual special treat; he wanted two. It’s rude. Especially when there were bountiful other treats available.

SignOnTheWindow · 03/12/2022 15:20

CakeCakeAndMoreCakes · 03/12/2022 14:56

I think it's that he doesn't care if someone else goes without that bothers me so much. It isn't him wanting more cake that's the real issue as other treatments are available. I only see him 4 or 5 times a year but I'm tempted to make it even less often. He's always like this.

He sounds rude, greedy and selfish.

Kanaloa · 03/12/2022 15:21

Ugh. He sounds like a total dick. I would have been pointing round and asking him who he wanted to go without so he could have extra. How can someone get to an adult age and still be so selfish?

BMW6 · 03/12/2022 15:21

Joyfuljolly · 03/12/2022 15:06

I can’t see the issue. He wasn’t asking anyone else to give them his, he just wanted another cake, he had one for lunch fancied another, people are acting like wanting a second cake is a crime against humanity , calling him greedy and selfish,. Sorry uncle I only bought one each

how much were these cakes anyway. You keep going on about how expensive they were.

He WAS asking for another knowing that would mean someone had none at all.

Greedy selfish cunt.

Ludo19 · 03/12/2022 15:22

@ScottishLavender penis portions.....can I keep that one and use it in future, that's fantastic! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

FictionalCharacter · 03/12/2022 15:23

Yanbu. Nobody is entitled to someone else's share when they've already had their own.