AIBU to think that once you've eaten your share, that's it?

[CakeCakeAndMoreCakes]

AIBU to think that people who eat their share and who then want everyone else's too, are incredibly annoying?

I had a few relatives visiting yesterday and I bought some fairly expensive individual cakes as a treat. My Uncle ate his with lunch then was put out and complained that there wasn't one left for him when we had ours later with tea and coffee. Other small cakes, mince pies and biscuits plus chocolate were still available.

I'm probably being petty but he has form for this. He seems to want his share and everyone else's too.

AIBU to think that generally speaking if you've had your share, that's it? You don't get to eat everyone else's too?

And if you'd RTFT you'd see that's not what OP did. She planned them for later but he saw them and demanded one.

He's greedy and very rude. You were very polite. I hope you didn't give him your cake when he demanded it.

I'd be reluctant to invite him back.

So true. It's not a male entitlement thing, it's just an entitlement thing. Nothing to do with his being a man.

I feel that individual desserts are more important with people who have form for this! Otherwise they snaffle more than their share.

Of course it’s rude, entitled and selfish behaviour. If there’s one each who does he expect to forgo theirs for him? People like this need to be told bluntly how unreasonable they are being. I would speak to him like a child and tell him in the future that there is enough for everyone to have only one and so he should wait to eat them all together or otherwise he will miss out later. Anyone with decency would never act like this!

When I said politely that he'd had his share, he told me that I didn't really need one and that if I really wanted one I could go back and buy another for myself

😲

Next time you are having a day like this with family, I’d buy the usual amount of expensive treats and a cheap supermarket butter cake or something - slice it up. .He can then have his expensive treat early as he insisted, then eat the other cake to his heart’s content as his seconds, thirds whatever.

He’s impolite and he was trying to stand over you by suggesting he could eat yours and you could go buy another ….. he’s one of those ‘you can’t take him anywhere’ types.

No one "needs" extra cake

Yeah, but that's not what she is talking about. No one needs a bigger slice/additional cake.

Please tell me nobody else had to give up their first / only patisserie so he could have two.

He sounds very greedy. Is he one of those annoyingly skinny people who can eat twice as much and remain positively bony? Because I do suspect that they are permanently starving because they must burn it all off.

My teenage SD does this. It enrages me and her dad doesn't pull her up on it.

In the household is me, her dad, her and her half sibling. On Saturday mornings we go to the bakery and buy four pastries.

Her dad spoils her and will often give her half of his. Our LO is too small for a full pastry so she will often be given half of hers too.

On multiple occasions she has come down mid morning, taken out the box and plonked two or even three pastries onto her plate without asking permission.

When I asked her what she thought she was doing she responded it's her breakfast and we have to feed her, LO doesn't eat a whole one anyway, dad won't mind, I often don't eat mine so what difference does it make.

On the occasions when I haven't eaten mine I've said no at the time then seen her help herself.

And yes I've addressed it clearly that it's still mine and she shouldn't help herself.

She also behaves appallingly in restaurants even when my family members have treated her.

A DH problem I know.

Is he from a type of family where the "man of the house" always gets the pick, or the lion's share? I have stayed with a family where the Dad was given the best seat, first dished up at a meal, etc. - they all did this with an unspoken assumption and one of them pointed it out to me. They were quite a traditional northern family, I don't know if that's a thing?

You could have said “those are for later but defo one for you then”?

"OK, I've bought everyone a cake each from Fancy Patisserie. Who would like theirs after lunch and who would like theirs later with a cup of tea?"

I'm puzzled by posters suggesting what Op should have said to avoid this.

Unless he is 3 years old, he shouldn't need to have his expectations managed, he should just stop being greedy and impolite.

@Headabovetheparakeet true, but she could have told him the fancy cakes were for later and declined to serve them up when he wanted. Her house, her rules. If he’s got form for being a cantankerous old git I dare say it wasn’t a surprise when he started being awkward.
I do sympathise with op though, sound s like a right cf!

Greedy bastard

Oh come on, I can't believe anyone is defending his behaviour.

It was clear there were x cakes and x people. He knows he ate his cake, but hours later when everyone else is enjoying their cakes, he wants to cry about missing out on cake. OP says there were chocolates and mince pies he could have so he wasn't going to waste away into nothing by being denied yet another cake. He could have easily made up his manly man daily calories required by scoffing chocolates, but he wanted more of the one thing that wasn't available to him. BECAUSE HE'D ALREADY EATEN HIS.

Bonus points for 'what even is an expensive cake' 🙃

Haha! This reminds me so much of my partners dad. YANBU. I remember being out for a roast dinner and I had ordered a side of cauliflower cheese, it was quite big so I said if anyone wanted a bit they could. Well I had a little bit to start with and then my partners dad just kept helping himself, like he ate the whole thing pretty much. I didn't say anything as didn't want to cause a scene and wasn't really too fussed but your uncle sounds similar .
He's the same if there's a family meal and there's left overs and he will dive straight in, even though we are guests at their house now. He's always been like it, he's greedy and pretty selfish too.

And, from what you’ve read, you think this person would have reacted reasonably when told the fancy cakes were for later and he couldn’t have any at the time? Really?

What's it like having Boris Johnson as your uncle? He's famously greedy when it comes to cake.

@RishisProudMum he wasn’t acting reasonably anyway so why indulge him? Exactly what do you think might have happened? Cake induced violence. Let’s keep this at a below hysterical level 🤣

I need to know if OP gave in or not when he demanded more 😂

He didn’t act reasonably when denied cake at teatime, so why do you think he would have reacted reasonably earlier? Presumably his reaction would have been the same, so there was nothing to be gained by it.

I’m unclear as to what part of my comment was at all hysterical.