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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To fart in front of DH?

145 replies

Passthecheeseboard · 03/12/2022 00:23

So been together for 5 years, and we are now completely comfortable with each other, this includes bodily functions. I thought this was normal… But talking to a friend and she has never heard her partner break wind their entire relationship (3 years) and so she doesn’t either… I can only imagine they must be sitting together with sore tummys waiting for the other to leave the room for a discreet moment 🤣

So am I being unreasonable? Is there such thing as being too comfortable in a relationship?

OP posts:
IneedcoffeeinanIV · 03/12/2022 00:27

Hahahahaha I used to be SO weird about this. My ex didn't hear me fart until I'd had DD1, figured he'd seen enough of me at this point for a fart to be nothing. I used to make him cover his ears. However with my current partner it's been 2 years and now I've given up pretending I'm some sort of unicorn that doesn't have bodily functions. This was purely to do with having a dodgy meal and having no choice in the matter

Kaibashira · 03/12/2022 00:28

Three years?

So likely thinking about marriage, kids, etc.

If you can't fart in front of someone you can't marry them. Lord above tell the lad about mucus plugs and what sometimes comes out (has to come out) before the baby.

Globetrotterwitch · 03/12/2022 00:29

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Orangesatsuma · 03/12/2022 00:30

I think you need to be comfortable being yourself around your partner so Yanbu.

Leemoe · 03/12/2022 00:32

I'm sorry but do these people never go out for a curry and consequently fart each other awake,
Awakening to a wholly noxious sleeping environment which persuades either of them to crack a window open poste haste?

Are they then residing in an alternate dimension?

Five years???

Original poster
Passthecheeseboard · 03/12/2022 00:32

Haha there’s always that defining moment in a relationship when one of you does the first fart and breaks the ice …

It was about a month into my relationship with DH, I was giving him a massage and he must have been holding it in and it just slipped out as he relaxed. I thought it was hilarious. 😂

The only time I think you should leave the room to fart is if you have a bad stomach and they are bad enough to clear a room 🤢

OP posts:
WhatKatieDid2 · 03/12/2022 00:33

I've been with my husband 15 years and only just started now because I'm pregnant and they keep popping out accidently. I've still never heard him fart. Apart from farts, we are incredibly close in every other way!

Enko · 03/12/2022 00:35

I dont around my.husband of 26 years amd he doesn't me as he knows I dislike it.

If I have a sore stomach and need to I go to the toilet where I deal with most bodily functions.

Doesn't mean I am uptight or a. Unable to let.go with him.

It means I have boundaries that dh. And my children respect.

That's not a bad thing. Why would I want to smell your bodily functions because you can't be bothered to get up and walk out the room.

Also I say this as someone who suffers from. Ibs I still manage to leave the room.

Original poster
Passthecheeseboard · 03/12/2022 00:37

Once when I had an upset stomach I did one in bed that was so evil it actually woke DH up, it was literally the worst thing I had ever smelled … he was like trying not to puke and jumping out of bed saying ‘oh my God what is that?’ Holding his hand over his mouth…

I was really embarrassed because we hadn’t been together long so I lied to him and told him he farted in his sleep. He was mortified and really apologetic.

To this day he still thinks he was responsible for the legendary evil fart 🫣

OP posts:
Leemoe · 03/12/2022 00:40

Enko · 03/12/2022 00:35

I dont around my.husband of 26 years amd he doesn't me as he knows I dislike it.

If I have a sore stomach and need to I go to the toilet where I deal with most bodily functions.

Doesn't mean I am uptight or a. Unable to let.go with him.

It means I have boundaries that dh. And my children respect.

That's not a bad thing. Why would I want to smell your bodily functions because you can't be bothered to get up and walk out the room.

Also I say this as someone who suffers from. Ibs I still manage to leave the room.

Fair enough.
If you need your DH to vacate the room in order not to discomfort you then that is your choice entirely.

Do I understand it? No.
But then I have been in the near vicinity of farting cadavers...

Original poster
Passthecheeseboard · 03/12/2022 00:42

Is it not a form of intimacy to fart in front of each other?

OP posts:
SnapCrackleandExplode · 03/12/2022 00:44

I was thinking about this yesterday.
I've been single 10 years (last partner didn't live with me) and I've just discovered that eating Alpen gives me really bad flatulence. It really smells and I was laughing to myself thinking man I could never fart around whoever I get with if they smell like this. He's bound to leave me 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤣🤣🤣

123ROLO · 03/12/2022 00:45

I can't bring myself to. My body just says no if someone else is in the room.

I'm not precious at all, I'll tell him all the gory details of a particularly clotty period, or the consistency of my bowel movements if I have the runs. I just can't fart infront of him 😂. I've done a couple of accidental ones, such as laughing and one slipped out that we both find funny, I just can't knowingly let rip.

A few of my friends say they and their OH just let rip all night and I've sat in the presence of their farts, the room stinks and i feel gross that that I'm sat in a poo partical cloud. So I don't want to inflict that on anyone, I'll take myself elsewhere. It suits me and I can't say I'm often sat there with repressed pumpy pains

SnapCrackleandExplode · 03/12/2022 00:46

Also I did fart in front of my ex partner once and he was so rude and over the top about the smell. He made me feel so embarrassed I didn't dare fart near him for the 3 years we were together after that

Original poster
Passthecheeseboard · 03/12/2022 00:47

SnapCrackleandExplode · 03/12/2022 00:44

I was thinking about this yesterday.
I've been single 10 years (last partner didn't live with me) and I've just discovered that eating Alpen gives me really bad flatulence. It really smells and I was laughing to myself thinking man I could never fart around whoever I get with if they smell like this. He's bound to leave me 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤣🤣🤣

OMG me too, I think it’s the nuts, I find if I eat nuts I get such bad farts… I think it must be some sort of allergy… It’s a shame too because I love snacking on cashews😢

OP posts:
Leemoe · 03/12/2022 00:47

Passthecheeseboard · 03/12/2022 00:42

Is it not a form of intimacy to fart in front of each other?

I don't think so, no.

Some people are comfortable with things that others just aren't.
For example; I'd bet my house that there are women who will have anal sex with men that they wouldn't dream of farting in front of.

We set our own boundaries in this respect. Having said that, in the above example, I'm a farter for avoidance of doubt...

Crazyinlove123 · 03/12/2022 00:50

I don’t purposely fart in front of him but it has slipped out. I do it in front of the kids but I just can’t let rip when he is in the room haha. I have no idea why because he does it and would be made up if I did haha

NotSoSlimShady8 · 03/12/2022 00:55

Best comment ever 😂

NotSoSlimShady8 · 03/12/2022 00:56

Passthecheeseboard · 03/12/2022 00:37

Once when I had an upset stomach I did one in bed that was so evil it actually woke DH up, it was literally the worst thing I had ever smelled … he was like trying not to puke and jumping out of bed saying ‘oh my God what is that?’ Holding his hand over his mouth…

I was really embarrassed because we hadn’t been together long so I lied to him and told him he farted in his sleep. He was mortified and really apologetic.

To this day he still thinks he was responsible for the legendary evil fart 🫣

This one ☝️

Topseyt123 · 03/12/2022 00:59

Passthecheeseboard · 03/12/2022 00:42

Is it not a form of intimacy to fart in front of each other?

Of course it is.

We fart freely around each other. People who are too uptight about it and always go outside or to the bathroom should chill a little and just let rip. It is very liberating, not to mention hilarious. 🤣

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 03/12/2022 01:00

God I crack them out all day we’d never see each other if I didn’t do them round him.

I do draw the line at seeing each other on the toilet though.

SnapCrackleandExplode · 03/12/2022 01:03

@Passthecheeseboard hahah glad I'm not alone. Don't think it's the nuts though because I don't have stinky wind when eating those. Maybe something else in the Alpen.
Think this will be my last bowl lol

Runningupthathill78 · 03/12/2022 01:04

@Enko this is exactly how I was brought up to think and it has stuck with me. I don't (or try not to) fart in front of anyone. Ever. However, I find farting rather amusing, generally for some reason. But my DH of 11 years farts consistency and putridly in my company which I find utterly disgusting because of the smell (he is diabetic so his tablets do affect this to a degree) but also because he thinks it's okay to fart in my company (I don't) but also on the other side he is aghast (and bangs on about how unladylike I am) if one ever unintentionally slips out of my nether regions whilst he is in the same room. I think it's all down to what you've been brought up to to believe is 'polite'.

theycallmestacie · 03/12/2022 01:09

We've been together 15 years. Dh farts in front of me, but I don't in front of him. Apart from when I was in labour, I've never pood in front of him, vice versa. I don't want or need to do any of that around him.

student86 · 03/12/2022 01:09

Not a Partner but I've recently started uni as a mature student.

The worst thing about it is how much more I need to fart compared to 20 years ago!

After lunch all my young classmates are bounding off the afternoon lessons and I'm following behind walking bent over and leaning to the side praying one won't slip out.

As soon as I'm in the car I fart for the full 20 min drive home.