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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cocaine - is this weird?

283 replies

Creamofthecrop12 · 02/12/2022 19:55

I'll start this with I'm a drugs virgin, don't take them and never have done.
But I do know people who have in their 20s typically and then stopped as they hit 30ish, children or not. They weren't prolific users: weekends only.
I've become friendly with a group of long-term friends (early 40s/late 40s) who seemingly have it all.
They're friendly, good, well-paid jobs, lovely children, nice homes etc. The kids seem well-cared for.
But - f* me - they LOVE drugs. And in a way I'm really uncomfortable with but if I raise will almost certainly see me ousted from the group (I know this happened to a person before me).
There's been multiple occasions on a weekly basis where the children (toddlers and newborns) are kept in the care of both parents at 'family-style' events in the early evening and mum and dad are both doing lines.
Or they are kept up very late while both parents are high.
They also take other class A drugs (not heroin) regularly and the dads will do coke 2/3 times a week - even in the days/weeks after the baby was born.
I think this is odd but I value their friendship.
I guess I'm looking for an objective point of view that this behaviour isn't the norm.
Thanks.

OP posts:
userxx · 02/12/2022 22:19

This isn't recreational partaking, this is issue territory.

If it makes you so uncomfortable then find a different group of friends, I used to love a good blowout back in the day but I absolutely couldn't be arsed being around people who are doing it now.

Showmethecardis · 02/12/2022 22:21

it makes them participators in county lines and human trafficking not to mention terrorism and organised crime. If you think this is in anyway equivalent to drinking alcohol then you are an idiot

you do understand this statement is only true because certain people in power have decided alcohol is ok and cocaine is not. Even though Professor Nutt’s extensive work showed that cocaine is far less harmful to the body than alcohol.

motleymop · 02/12/2022 22:22

God almighty - why would anyone want to take coke with a newborn on the scene! As if having a baby isn't knackering anxiety-inducing enough without adding Class A's to the mix. Bonkers, quite apart from the fact it's reckless.

Figgygal · 02/12/2022 22:22

It's pretty pathetic really isn't it
Something you grow out of surely like boy racing or shagging around

Lilithslove · 02/12/2022 22:22

This reminds me of a situation I was in about 10 years ago. Me and my then boyfriend were friends with a couple in our early 20s who we'd go raving with. Then they had a baby pretty young for our group (26/27ish). They invited us round for dinner when the baby was about 18 months and we had such a lovely time until after dinner the dad pulls out a bag of coke!

Me and my ex were horrified and made excuses to leave. What if the baby had woken up and needed comforting!

MrsMorrisey · 02/12/2022 22:23

dropthevipers · 02/12/2022 20:13

How can you stand the amount of bollocks they must talk?

Hahaha so very true.

OP it don't think it's normal at all. How can you value friendships with people who think that's ok to behave like they around children.
As with other posters, a lot of us did it in the 90's but most people grow up.

userxx · 02/12/2022 22:24

Showmethecardis · 02/12/2022 22:21

it makes them participators in county lines and human trafficking not to mention terrorism and organised crime. If you think this is in anyway equivalent to drinking alcohol then you are an idiot

you do understand this statement is only true because certain people in power have decided alcohol is ok and cocaine is not. Even though Professor Nutt’s extensive work showed that cocaine is far less harmful to the body than alcohol.

I agree, legalise it and make a fuck ton of tax, plus I'm sick to death of hearing the local drug dealer whizzing around on his moped at 3am. Dickhead.

MrsMorrisey · 02/12/2022 22:25

Dinnerdate1 · 02/12/2022 20:21

I was the child also who was dragged around pubs and "friends houses" whilst my parents took coke and drunk booze. It was shit. Yes we never knew what was happening but by the age of 9-10 we knew it was drugs. I can remember every weekend loud music and being sent upstairs ironically with a movie on and a bottle of coke and crisps etc Confused. Wasn't allowed downstairs either and one morning I can remember playing with a bouncy ball that had rolled under the sofa. When my brother pulled it out we found a cd case with coke on it. Gave it to my dad who went into the toilet and I remember hearing him sniff it. (Didn't know he was actually sniffing it up his nose) but I remember the sniff noise.
They are in their 50s now and occasionally still do it. Just together and not at parties. I think it's grim as fuck and depressing.
I'd say to them,
If you chose to have kids, parent them properly. Don't bring your partying around children.
It makes us grow up and dislike you once we realise.

Far out, that's pretty full on. Flowers

Hesleepswiththefishes · 02/12/2022 22:25

Why do you value their friendship?

these people are pathetic scum in the way they are looking after their children whilst on HARD drugs

the veneer of being middle class is not good enough

absolutely shitty

earsup · 02/12/2022 22:25

I know several vegan leftie types who bleat on about all social causese etc...but do coke every weekend....i dont socialise with them....used to do garden jobs for them....they seem to forget coke has bleach, petrol, amonia, piss, persil, etc etc in it....!!...have just ditched some friends due to their boozing....wealthy and spend hundreds in a session but become vile and obnoxious...dont get chucked out due to the amount they spend....so boring listening to their ranting etc...

Fairislefandango · 02/12/2022 22:26

you do understand this statement is only true because certain people in power have decided alcohol is ok and cocaine is not

The people in power decide all of the things that are legal and illegal. Does that mean it's ok to just break the law?

LlareggubTripAdviser · 02/12/2022 22:27

Money is the THING.

It all comes down to money .

If you do this and are working class your kids don't eat/ look good /old unwashed clothes / neglected and you come to the attention of SS...

With MONEY ... you just sub-contract those things out.
Order new clothes/ babysitter/nanny/ plenty of food... never come to the attention of SS and they have no 'proof of neglect and will NEVER get a prosecution (because once again - MONEY pays for a shot got Barrister - even if it did get that far ...

Absolutely rife round here (rural south east - think Surrey/Sussex investment banker country ...

Money money money ....

Unihorn · 02/12/2022 22:27

Showmethecardis · 02/12/2022 22:21

it makes them participators in county lines and human trafficking not to mention terrorism and organised crime. If you think this is in anyway equivalent to drinking alcohol then you are an idiot

you do understand this statement is only true because certain people in power have decided alcohol is ok and cocaine is not. Even though Professor Nutt’s extensive work showed that cocaine is far less harmful to the body than alcohol.

But while it remains the case that it is illegal, buying and using cocaine is funding the human traffickers who prey on the most vulnerable and are a drain on society.

LlareggubTripAdviser · 02/12/2022 22:28

Shit hot Barrister

QueenBeex · 02/12/2022 22:29

I sadly think this is ALOT more common than you probably think.

I know of (definitely not friends of mine personally) a handful (at least) of parents who are regular cocaine users, and I feel for their poor children being second best to drugs, its selfish and irresponsible as a parent to take those kind of risks when youve got children that rely on you.

Yabado · 02/12/2022 22:29

One of my neighbours was a functional crack head and long term weed smoker . Had a job nice house, nice kids

I would never had known apart from the fact that I read about a something he was arrested for a few years ago online

he dropped down dead in Aug of a heart attack age 56

I would honestly walk away from people like that .
they are generally assholes and can’t be trusted and do a lot of unseen damage to the children around them

Itaintwhatyoudoitsthewaythatyoudoit · 02/12/2022 22:32

Showmethecardis · 02/12/2022 22:21

it makes them participators in county lines and human trafficking not to mention terrorism and organised crime. If you think this is in anyway equivalent to drinking alcohol then you are an idiot

you do understand this statement is only true because certain people in power have decided alcohol is ok and cocaine is not. Even though Professor Nutt’s extensive work showed that cocaine is far less harmful to the body than alcohol.

Why not drive your car the wrong way up the motorway as its only certain people in power who decided the rules of the road?

Why not walk in the supermarket and take whatever you wanted and walk out without paying as its only certain people in power who decided stealing was against the law?

Why bother sending your children to school as its only certain people in power who decided your children have a right to education?

crispsandnuts · 02/12/2022 22:32

Massive safeguarding issue and it's your duty of care to report it, poor kids

sHREDDIES19 · 02/12/2022 22:33

Class A drugs, to my mind, has always been a mugs game, but partaking whilst in charge of children is ludicrous!

BabyFour2023 · 02/12/2022 22:35

Let’s be honest; if these were people who were unemployed and living on a council estate; you wouldn’t be praising their behaviour and wanting to maintain your friendships with them. They’d be absolutely slated and called terrible things.

Why do you want to be friends with these people?

diffandproud · 02/12/2022 22:35

@BabyDriversMummy
You are very naive to think that just because something is legal that it makes it acceptable

FettleOfKish · 02/12/2022 22:35

Why on earth would you value the friendship of people like this? Genuinely baffled.

Ohyeahbabe · 02/12/2022 22:36

PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog · 02/12/2022 20:09

I would call SS over this actually.

Me too.

Showmethecardis · 02/12/2022 22:39

Why not drive your car the wrong way up the motorway as it’s only certain people in power who decided the rules of the road?

ok. You think this is analogous to legal/ non legal drug taking. If so, educate yourself before you respond again and look stupid

Isahlo · 02/12/2022 22:40

Dh did lots of cocaine and ecstasy when we met. As soon as we moved in together and started talking about babes it was out the window

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