Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Cocaine - is this weird?

283 replies

Creamofthecrop12 · 02/12/2022 19:55

I'll start this with I'm a drugs virgin, don't take them and never have done.
But I do know people who have in their 20s typically and then stopped as they hit 30ish, children or not. They weren't prolific users: weekends only.
I've become friendly with a group of long-term friends (early 40s/late 40s) who seemingly have it all.
They're friendly, good, well-paid jobs, lovely children, nice homes etc. The kids seem well-cared for.
But - f* me - they LOVE drugs. And in a way I'm really uncomfortable with but if I raise will almost certainly see me ousted from the group (I know this happened to a person before me).
There's been multiple occasions on a weekly basis where the children (toddlers and newborns) are kept in the care of both parents at 'family-style' events in the early evening and mum and dad are both doing lines.
Or they are kept up very late while both parents are high.
They also take other class A drugs (not heroin) regularly and the dads will do coke 2/3 times a week - even in the days/weeks after the baby was born.
I think this is odd but I value their friendship.
I guess I'm looking for an objective point of view that this behaviour isn't the norm.
Thanks.

OP posts:
GonnaGetGoingReturns · 03/12/2022 10:46

Just as an aside to this comment. When I cut myself off from my drug friends (there was another reason when I was let back into the fold…) I did have work friends who I socialised with a lot and also a few other friends. I made more close friends via a friendship group about 2-3 years later.

If I knew then what I knew now, and that one of my best friends would die (she was always the one who’d go the extra mile with drugs etc) I’d have got help for her sooner, not that I think she’d have listened as she was an addict (had a drink problem too).

Zone2NorthLondon · 03/12/2022 12:04

Neglect is an absence an unavailability. Can have a million pound house,full fridge and neglected children.prosperous parents who are intoxicated, emotionally unavailable and exposing kids to risk are not subject to scrutiny or sanctioned in same way poor folk are. However let’s be clear the kids I’m situation @Creamofthecrop12 describes are neglected

Beezknees · 03/12/2022 12:10

Stuff like this pisses me off so much. I was a teenage single mum. I've never done drugs, don't get drunk around DS, work full time but my god the judgement I got and still do because I was young and single and live in a HA flat.

But bad parents who take drugs around their kids but have "good jobs" and nice houses seemingly receive far less judgement. The snobbery is real. And people say class no longer exists!

DarkKarmaIlama · 03/12/2022 13:51

@Beezknees

I had my kids young(ish) too. Live on a council estate.

Theres been a lot of “I’m not a drugs Virgin on this board” and one poster said her husband used to do a lot of Coke and E before they settled down with kids. Well I’m sorry but he wouldn’t have been on my radar doing that and I’m very much from a working class background. I would have sacked him off straight away.

Well I am a drugs “Virgin” and I’m proud to be one.

SanyaS · 03/12/2022 14:25

There is a massive difference between a hangover and a comedown. Alcohol and gear can not be compared even though alcohol abuse is dangerous as coke.

PrincessConstance · 03/12/2022 14:47

Alcohol and coke are deadly when used together.
castlecraig.co.uk/addiction/mixing-cocaine-and-alcohol-dangerous

One of the most dangerous effects of combining cocaine with alcohol is the production of cocaethylene in your liver. When you ingest harmful substances, your body removes them from your bloodstream and sends them to your liver so you can metabolize them out of your system safely.
On their own, both alcohol and cocaine can take hours or even days to metabolize out of your body.

When the two drugs are metabolized together, a substance called cocaethylene is produced in the liver as a result of the cocaine being altered in the presence of alcohol.
This new substance is more dangerous than alcohol or cocaine on its own and can take a long time to eliminate from your body.

Research has shown that cocaethylene is produced in the liver roughly two hours after you’ve ingested both drugs, (Source: Science Direct) and that about 20 percent of the cocaine your liver attempts to metabolize is disrupted by alcohol, producing cocaethylene.
From there, when your liver tries to eliminate the cocaethylene, the alcohol that’s still in your system slows down the process.

If you continue to drink alcohol, your body continues to struggle to eliminate cocaethylene and it passes from the liver into your bloodstream.
There, it can have detrimental effects on your tissues and organs and can produce intoxicating effects much more powerful than cocaine or alcohol can alone.

What are the Dangers of Cocaethylene?
Cocaethylene enhances the euphoric effects associated with both alcohol and cocaine. However, this also means you may experience an increase in blood pressure, impulsive and even violent behavior, and poor judgment. Worse yet, cocaethylene is far more toxic than cocaine or alcohol and can build toxic levels in the liver.
This can ultimately result in sudden, sometimes fatal, overdose.

Once your liver has begun producing cocaethylene, you may experience one or more of the following dangerous consequences:
Increased risk for heart attack and stroke: Cocaethylene raises your heart rate and blood pressure more than cocaine alone does and impairs your heart’s ability to contract. Studies show cocaethylene increases your risk of heart attack and stroke more than alcohol or cocaine alone.

Increased alcohol consumption: The production of cocaethylene has been linked to binge drinking. This can cause strain on your body, such as liver damage, nerve damage, and alcohol poisoning.
Higher levels of toxicity: Cocaethylene is up to 30 percent more toxic than cocaine and stays in your system up to three times longer. This increases your chance of experiencing toxic effects, such as overdose or death.

Increased risk for drug abuse: Because combining alcohol and cocaine tempers the negative side effects, you might feel from each, it encourages you to continue using both drugs. Cocaethylene also blocks your brain’s reuptake of dopamine, which heightens the high you feel and may increase your cravings for both substances.

Can Mixing Alcohol and Cocaine Result in Overdose?
Yes, mixing alcohol and cocaine can result in an overdose. On their own, you can consume enough of either substance to result in death.
When you combine the two, you often can’t tell how impaired you are and will continue to use one or both substances excessively, at which point you may overdose.

In addition, using cocaine and alcohol together is the substance combination most highly associated with drug-related deaths. Not only does combining these substances increase your risk of overdose, but it’s also been associated with suicide and accidental deaths from risky behavior. Studies have found that people are more likely to complete a suicide attempt when alcohol and cocaine are both present in the blood. More.

eveoha · 03/12/2022 14:55

PrincessConstance Thankyou for that enlightening ( but terrifying) post 👍🏿☘️

Catwoman300 · 03/12/2022 15:10

Wheatandchaffinch · 03/12/2022 07:41

diffandproud · Yesterday 21:33
I wonder if all of you here are disgusted by the amount of alcohol that people
Take in front of kids. Having alcohol in the home, attending functions and parties with children where alcohol is flowing. Alcohol
Is one of the main reasons for domestic abuse, why people refer to someone as a druggy who takes a line or two it yet wouldn't call yourself an alcho when u have A few drinks at the weekend.

I'm, also not a drug virgin but havnt taken them since my twenties but I would view alcohol worse. I know plenty of people in their 40s/50s who take coke recreational and they are def not people who I would refer to as druggies...they are lovely people, well functioning, holding down jobs, have always provided for the kids..not everyone who takes a line or two becomes dependent to the point they can't function...not everyone becomes an addict,some people can actually go out and use their drug of choice and leave it there and continue on in life..
Like alcohol, if u choose to consume it, you must have adequate childcare provided but people don't seem to do that when drinking alcohol around kids, it seems more acceptable...you are all very judgemental and naive if u think that it's worse to take cocaine over alcohol..
And thinking about it..any time I have ever witnessed inappropriate behaviour or violence..has always being alcohol related, don't think i have ever seen an aggressive person on coke where I have seen plenty of alcohol related aggression..people, like those on this thread, love to bash others for their choices as it makes them feel better about their own poor choices but at end of the day, taking coke while around children is no worse than drinking alcohol around them

I personally stopped drinking when I had kids, but this isn’t acceptable either. If parents/caters want to drink then it should only ever be one of them at a time and never if they’re in sole care of their child. I know way too many parents who puts their kids to bed then have bottles of wine, putting their reaction times slower or rendering them unable to drive should an emergency arise.

At least One person must always be sober and alert and in care of the children.

I don't think either are acceptable with children. One isn't better/worse than the other. If you're half tanked either way and your child falls, swallows something they shouldn't, how are you going to be responsible for that child? Deal with the situation, drive them to the hospital? Half tanked on either drugs or alcohol?

My sister wouldn't leave her child with an older grandparent in case something happened the grandparent. You may never be able to mitigate for every issue but drinking /drugging with kids is asking for trouble.

My friend works in A&e telling me 4 drugged out /alcohol soaked individuals lying in cubicles, while 3 elderly sick patients sitting on chairs unable to be put into the cubicle because of their twatty selfish behaviour. Heard the same from friends who work in ICU ....no available beds because 2 or 3 of them taken up by the drink or drug soaked.

I had a father who was an alcoholic he fell off the wagon several times over the years. My mum had to run the business, her home and had 5 children when he was drying out. Thank god I never got addicted. My sister every year doesn't do alcohol in January to remind herself she can stop and mainly has a drink once per week. Only my eldest brother is an alcoholic, thankfully doesn't have children. I still remember the feeling of vulnerability when Daddy was drunk and incapable. No child should be witness to that.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page