Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cocaine - is this weird?

283 replies

Creamofthecrop12 · 02/12/2022 19:55

I'll start this with I'm a drugs virgin, don't take them and never have done.
But I do know people who have in their 20s typically and then stopped as they hit 30ish, children or not. They weren't prolific users: weekends only.
I've become friendly with a group of long-term friends (early 40s/late 40s) who seemingly have it all.
They're friendly, good, well-paid jobs, lovely children, nice homes etc. The kids seem well-cared for.
But - f* me - they LOVE drugs. And in a way I'm really uncomfortable with but if I raise will almost certainly see me ousted from the group (I know this happened to a person before me).
There's been multiple occasions on a weekly basis where the children (toddlers and newborns) are kept in the care of both parents at 'family-style' events in the early evening and mum and dad are both doing lines.
Or they are kept up very late while both parents are high.
They also take other class A drugs (not heroin) regularly and the dads will do coke 2/3 times a week - even in the days/weeks after the baby was born.
I think this is odd but I value their friendship.
I guess I'm looking for an objective point of view that this behaviour isn't the norm.
Thanks.

OP posts:
Onceuponawhileago · 02/12/2022 20:11

Creamofthecrop12 · 02/12/2022 20:05

It's fine. I agree with everything everyone is saying. Everyone is right. It's a weird place to be in when you're instincts are screaming NO but everyone else is saying "NAH, IT IS GREAT."

Im interested in why you are seeking validation from them? They sound like loads of my mates. Sad lives, wealthy and insecure. They will end up in rehab but not before screwing up their kids and fucking each other. A mate is having a party at 5pm tmrw. Am I going? Hell no because by 8pm people will be doing lines...

Original poster
Creamofthecrop12 · 02/12/2022 20:11

tedgran · 02/12/2022 20:04

Do these people ever stop to think how their drugs got here, and the misery of the folk involved in this despicable trade?

I don't think they do, no. It's shit. I agree

OP posts:
Thurst · 02/12/2022 20:12

That’s rank. I’m definitely not a stranger to a class A but it’s a no kids type activity not a family day out FFS.

shangelawasrobbed · 02/12/2022 20:13

I'd report this. It doesn't matter how much money someone has, it's dangerous for kids to be in the care of adults who are high.

dropthevipers · 02/12/2022 20:13

How can you stand the amount of bollocks they must talk?

Hurdling · 02/12/2022 20:14

Why aren’t you reporting them to SS?

beastlyslumber · 02/12/2022 20:15

takealettermsjones · 02/12/2022 20:09

I was the kid up late while the adults were drunk/high. It sucks. I wish someone had called the police.

That must have been scary and sad. They should have taken better care of you.

Changechangychange · 02/12/2022 20:15

Not normal. I do know people who carried on after having kids, but it is strictly out of the house (nights out etc). I really can’t imagine somebody doing lines at family barbecue or whatever these events are - and honestly if people were, I’d leave myself with DS.

Do you need to be friends with these people? They sound like problem users if they couldn’t even cope for a couple of weeks after the birth without coke.

Iflyaway · 02/12/2022 20:15

^tedgran · Today 20:04
Do these people ever stop to think how their drugs got here, and the misery of the folk involved in this despicable trade?^

Yes OP. Are you aware of the world-wide implications of "people needing to take coke"? The country of Mexico etc. Ports like Antwerpen, even going through Africa. It's horrendous. Even so-called "chill-out Amsterdam" has shootings in public, innocent people getting caught in the cross-fire.

How would you feel if you are at their house and the drugs squad do a raid. You would be implicated.

Feel so sorry for their kids. Cos the shit will hit the fan one day.

ChatterMonkey · 02/12/2022 20:19

I know people that continued with coke into their 30s, and had kids, but the two were seperate things. So coke use decreased and only for times when babysitter was available for the night and majority of the day after.

Its not my cup of tea, but taking any drugs and looking after children is a big no no for me. And i include drinking to the extent of being drunk in that too so not just against illegal drugs.

Maray1967 · 02/12/2022 20:20

Report them to social services. They are not fit to be parents.

Original poster
Creamofthecrop12 · 02/12/2022 20:20

Iflyaway · 02/12/2022 20:15

^tedgran · Today 20:04
Do these people ever stop to think how their drugs got here, and the misery of the folk involved in this despicable trade?^

Yes OP. Are you aware of the world-wide implications of "people needing to take coke"? The country of Mexico etc. Ports like Antwerpen, even going through Africa. It's horrendous. Even so-called "chill-out Amsterdam" has shootings in public, innocent people getting caught in the cross-fire.

How would you feel if you are at their house and the drugs squad do a raid. You would be implicated.

Feel so sorry for their kids. Cos the shit will hit the fan one day.

I looked at it.

OP posts:
Dinnerdate1 · 02/12/2022 20:21

I was the child also who was dragged around pubs and "friends houses" whilst my parents took coke and drunk booze. It was shit. Yes we never knew what was happening but by the age of 9-10 we knew it was drugs. I can remember every weekend loud music and being sent upstairs ironically with a movie on and a bottle of coke and crisps etc Confused. Wasn't allowed downstairs either and one morning I can remember playing with a bouncy ball that had rolled under the sofa. When my brother pulled it out we found a cd case with coke on it. Gave it to my dad who went into the toilet and I remember hearing him sniff it. (Didn't know he was actually sniffing it up his nose) but I remember the sniff noise.
They are in their 50s now and occasionally still do it. Just together and not at parties. I think it's grim as fuck and depressing.
I'd say to them,
If you chose to have kids, parent them properly. Don't bring your partying around children.
It makes us grow up and dislike you once we realise.

Original poster
Creamofthecrop12 · 02/12/2022 20:21

I'm aware of all of this. I think it's horrific. It's one of the reasons I've never taken drugs.

Everyone is right.

OP posts:
Original poster
Creamofthecrop12 · 02/12/2022 20:23

Thanks everyone. I'll withdraw from the friendship group.

OP posts:
Fairislefandango · 02/12/2022 20:28

That's a group I'd deliberately oust myself from!

imaterribleterribleshithead · 02/12/2022 20:29

Absolutely disgusting. I'm definitely not a drugs virgin nor absolutely anti it as a parent, but in the same house as babies? What if the toddlers got hold of a bag? What if there was an emergency? They are terrible parents and I couldn't be friends with people like that.

LSSG · 02/12/2022 20:30

bluejelly · 02/12/2022 20:00

I used to take plenty of class As in my 20s. Totally stopped when I became a parent and can't imagine doing it now, especially with children around. I think it's grim and very uncool.

I did too up until becoming a parent (not just in 20s), so I'm quite relaxed about drugs but this doesn't sit quite right.

I think it's not horrendous to have the odd crazy night with friends away from the kids, but doing it while they're present (let alone regularly) is way off.

Alopeciabop · 02/12/2022 20:30

I’ve been in this exact situation! And it really takes you by surprise! And I’m not someone who’s shockable I’ve seen a lot of weird shit. But there’s something reeeeally odd about going to someone’s house for a little “gathering” that you expect to be chin chinning with champagne and people talking about their work accomplishments and but there’s just a cereal bowl of cocaine slapped out on the side and you’re thinking eh? Is this socially acceptable?

In fact the moment I realised these people were not, in fact, nice was when someone knocked a glass on the floor and I was trying to clean up all the little pieces, worried one of the home owner’s kids might step on a bit of glass the next day…but they were just standing there doing lines together. And it was just like really?

During the day they’re totally respectable people. We’re talking a room of orthodontist/professor/doctor/author/scientist people. Not MPs, bankers or dealers lol.

its so childish and just gross. Not only are you putting a lot of disgusting chemicals up your nose but like a PP said, reactions do happen. It’s just good parenting to look after your health. And purposely shoving that crap into you is just irresponsible. Won’t even go into the supply chain issue. But we could be here all day. They’re just toxic people who are better at hiding their toxicity than most. But they’ve waved their red flag OP.

plus I always feel like if everyone in the room is on drugs, what’s the point in even being there? No one’s gonna remember the conversations you had. Nothing meaningful is coming out of that. You’re not bonding or connecting on a real level. They’re just away with the coke fairies (and whatever other class a drug you say they’re on!)

Bentley123 · 02/12/2022 20:31

Oh no, this doesn’t sound right at all. Ditch them. The fact also that you know you’d be booted out their circle if you say how you feel suggests they are also not real friends. I’ve actually worked somewhere where a baby/toddler ingested drugs left about and ended up on intensive care. I don’t know if they survived or not but they were extremely ill. I’d honestly think about reporting them.

been and done it. · 02/12/2022 20:33

Creamofthecrop12 · 02/12/2022 19:55

I'll start this with I'm a drugs virgin, don't take them and never have done.
But I do know people who have in their 20s typically and then stopped as they hit 30ish, children or not. They weren't prolific users: weekends only.
I've become friendly with a group of long-term friends (early 40s/late 40s) who seemingly have it all.
They're friendly, good, well-paid jobs, lovely children, nice homes etc. The kids seem well-cared for.
But - f* me - they LOVE drugs. And in a way I'm really uncomfortable with but if I raise will almost certainly see me ousted from the group (I know this happened to a person before me).
There's been multiple occasions on a weekly basis where the children (toddlers and newborns) are kept in the care of both parents at 'family-style' events in the early evening and mum and dad are both doing lines.
Or they are kept up very late while both parents are high.
They also take other class A drugs (not heroin) regularly and the dads will do coke 2/3 times a week - even in the days/weeks after the baby was born.
I think this is odd but I value their friendship.
I guess I'm looking for an objective point of view that this behaviour isn't the norm.
Thanks.

It's scum like this that are perpetuating the vile drug trade..I'd bin them..

MrsThimbles · 02/12/2022 20:33

Let them oust you from the group. They’d be doing you a favor.

Original poster
Creamofthecrop12 · 02/12/2022 20:34

Alopeciabop · 02/12/2022 20:30

I’ve been in this exact situation! And it really takes you by surprise! And I’m not someone who’s shockable I’ve seen a lot of weird shit. But there’s something reeeeally odd about going to someone’s house for a little “gathering” that you expect to be chin chinning with champagne and people talking about their work accomplishments and but there’s just a cereal bowl of cocaine slapped out on the side and you’re thinking eh? Is this socially acceptable?

In fact the moment I realised these people were not, in fact, nice was when someone knocked a glass on the floor and I was trying to clean up all the little pieces, worried one of the home owner’s kids might step on a bit of glass the next day…but they were just standing there doing lines together. And it was just like really?

During the day they’re totally respectable people. We’re talking a room of orthodontist/professor/doctor/author/scientist people. Not MPs, bankers or dealers lol.

its so childish and just gross. Not only are you putting a lot of disgusting chemicals up your nose but like a PP said, reactions do happen. It’s just good parenting to look after your health. And purposely shoving that crap into you is just irresponsible. Won’t even go into the supply chain issue. But we could be here all day. They’re just toxic people who are better at hiding their toxicity than most. But they’ve waved their red flag OP.

plus I always feel like if everyone in the room is on drugs, what’s the point in even being there? No one’s gonna remember the conversations you had. Nothing meaningful is coming out of that. You’re not bonding or connecting on a real level. They’re just away with the coke fairies (and whatever other class a drug you say they’re on!)

EXACTLY THIS.

OP posts:
been and done it. · 02/12/2022 20:35

tedgran · 02/12/2022 20:04

Do these people ever stop to think how their drugs got here, and the misery of the folk involved in this despicable trade?

Absolutely right..these complete wankers think it's cool..it's vile behaviour whether you're a student or parent.