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Original poster

Cocaine - is this weird?

283 replies

Creamofthecrop12 · 02/12/2022 19:55

I'll start this with I'm a drugs virgin, don't take them and never have done.
But I do know people who have in their 20s typically and then stopped as they hit 30ish, children or not. They weren't prolific users: weekends only.
I've become friendly with a group of long-term friends (early 40s/late 40s) who seemingly have it all.
They're friendly, good, well-paid jobs, lovely children, nice homes etc. The kids seem well-cared for.
But - f* me - they LOVE drugs. And in a way I'm really uncomfortable with but if I raise will almost certainly see me ousted from the group (I know this happened to a person before me).
There's been multiple occasions on a weekly basis where the children (toddlers and newborns) are kept in the care of both parents at 'family-style' events in the early evening and mum and dad are both doing lines.
Or they are kept up very late while both parents are high.
They also take other class A drugs (not heroin) regularly and the dads will do coke 2/3 times a week - even in the days/weeks after the baby was born.
I think this is odd but I value their friendship.
I guess I'm looking for an objective point of view that this behaviour isn't the norm.
Thanks.

OP posts:
PolkaDotMankini · 02/12/2022 21:52

Nice jobs or not, they sound like a bunch of addicts who inflict misery on others to feed a habit they prioritise above their own children. I'd drop them.

Endlesssummer2022 · 02/12/2022 21:53

You’re being blinded by their class OP. You are doubting yourself because they are middle class.

Pretend they were doing exactly the same thing but poor and in a council house. How would you feel then?…Exactly. So they are the same, it’s just their money, Pinterest type home and accent that are making you think these are good parents and good people to be around.

Summerfun54321 · 02/12/2022 21:54

I know plenty of people who do drugs - but not around kids or whilst caring for kids. That’s 100% wrong.

MadelineUsher · 02/12/2022 21:57

If you don't get away from these saddos, you risk joining them eventually at some point, no matter what your stance is on drugs. Misery likes company. And "fun" types like you to get pissed/use drugs with them so they don't feel selfconscious about what they're doing, as that would spoil the fun.

StarDolphins · 02/12/2022 21:57

I used to take drugs when I was in my 20’s & early 30’s & had a wonderful, fun life with no responsibilities but goodness me, when you have child surely caring for them comes above that! I would never ever take coke now I have a child. I wouldn’t be interested in friends that do this (I know plenty that still do it sadly).

Whenwillitwork · 02/12/2022 21:59

StaunchMomma · 02/12/2022 21:27

I used to work with county lines kids, some of which deliver to my village regularly and I find it utterly infuriating.

I'm afraid I can't see past the manipulated, terrified children, dragged off the streets, made to cram kinder eggs full of coke up their arses & deliver to these 'fun' people. Themselves or their families threatened with knives or worse if they try to get out.

I wouldn't care how nice a group of friends were. If they were prepared to support that then I wouldn't want to pass the time of day with them.

This sums it up for me

Our towns are becoming dangerous places to be, and a huge part of this is the role played by vulnerable, exploited people - it’s heart breaking.
I’m afraid the posters saying ‘I’m no drugs Virgin but don’t do it around the kids’ just doesn’t cut it. The kids involved in this aren’t much older than the ones you’re desperate to show you want to protect

Jennybeans401 · 02/12/2022 22:05

Firstly, why do you value their friendship? Middle class drug use is somehow seen as acceptable but its just as horrifying.

Secondly, this is not uncommon. I have no interest in drugs, the thought frightens me. I do have a friend though who has become very friendly with a group of mums taking magic mushrooms on a regular basis. Friend has never mentioned taking them but apparently took drugs in her 20s so I think she might be doing it without telling me.

It worries me because the women have very young dcs and I would imagine this is really not good for them.

butterfliedtwo · 02/12/2022 22:05

PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog · 02/12/2022 20:09

If they didn't have 'good, well-paid jobs, lovely children, nice homes etc' SS would be called in by someone....

They still should be. It's appalling.

ChatterMonkey · 02/12/2022 22:05

@Wheatandchaffinch they arent friends any more, should have clarified that in my post. Totally agree with you.

At the time i was the childless gf of one of the group (my dp had a child) so was eye opening, but seemed normal. Drifted away from them when i split up with my ex.

Meggymoo777 · 02/12/2022 22:05

@Ellessdee I'm with you, unless there is someone else designated to care for him i.e. maybe my mum, or he has a sleepover etc... I'm not having more than 2 glasses max, that's my limit.

Summerhouse2013 · 02/12/2022 22:07

DandelionPockets · 02/12/2022 19:58

I don't understand how you could possibly want to be friends with people like that, why on earth did they have children.

Absolutely echo this .....i'm shocked 😑

Abouttimemum · 02/12/2022 22:10

I wouldn’t be friends with them. Awful.

Whenwillitwork · 02/12/2022 22:10

diffandproud · 02/12/2022 21:33

I wonder if all of you here are disgusted by the amount of alcohol that people
Take in front of kids. Having alcohol in the home, attending functions and parties with children where alcohol is flowing. Alcohol
Is one of the main reasons for domestic abuse, why people refer to someone as a druggy who takes a line or two it yet wouldn't call yourself an alcho when u have A few drinks at the weekend.
I'm, also not a drug virgin but havnt taken them since my twenties but I would view alcohol worse. I know plenty of people in their 40s/50s who take coke recreational and they are def not people who I would refer to as druggies...they are lovely people, well functioning, holding down jobs, have always provided for the kids..not everyone who takes a line or two becomes dependent to the point they can't function...not everyone becomes an addict,some people can actually go out and use their drug of choice and leave it there and continue on in life..
Like alcohol, if u choose to consume it, you must have adequate childcare provided but people don't seem to do that when drinking alcohol around kids, it seems more acceptable...you are all very judgemental and naive if u think that it's worse to take cocaine over alcohol..
And thinking about it..any time I have ever witnessed inappropriate behaviour or violence..has always being alcohol related, don't think i have ever seen an aggressive person on coke where I have seen plenty of alcohol related aggression..people, like those on this thread, love to bash others for their choices as it makes them feel better about their own poor choices but at end of the day, taking coke while around children is no worse than drinking alcohol around them

The journey of the coke is somewhat different to that of the booze, though! That’s what I can’t get my around - why doesn’t that stop these people who in other ways appear to be educated, well rounded members of society ? (I guess on OP’s case they’re not even considering their own kids so..).

I agree that alcohol abuse is the root of many social issues and frightening to witness

Showmethecardis · 02/12/2022 22:11

This reply has been deleted

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maddy68 · 02/12/2022 22:11

Using cocaine does not make them bad parents any more than having drinks when the kids have gone to bed in an ideal world neither would happen

If you are uncomfortable then leave the group

Wetblanket78 · 02/12/2022 22:11

I wouldn't want to associate with people doing that. Report them to social services. They can't be on the ball to care for young children while high on drugs.

WonderingWanda · 02/12/2022 22:12

I couldn't be friends with people taking drugs around their children like this.

Itaintwhatyoudoitsthewaythatyoudoit · 02/12/2022 22:13

I’m afraid the posters saying ‘I’m no drugs Virgin but don’t do it around the kids’ just doesn’t cut it. The kids involved in this aren’t much older than the ones you’re desperate to show you want to protect

This.
Futures and lives are being taken from kids by those supplying and supporting the drug trade.

Showmethecardis · 02/12/2022 22:14

What’s the difference between a beer or a line? Neither would incapacitate you. Plenty of parents sink a bottle of Prosecco. You’re just buying into the illegal drugs = okay, illegal = wrong with no actual basis to that

Original poster
Creamofthecrop12 · 02/12/2022 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

That was an error. Late 30s/early 40s.

OP posts:
Showmethecardis · 02/12/2022 22:16

And yes agree with many posters that the illegal trade is awful and exploitative so legalisation is the way forward. Like with alcohol

Doubtmyself · 02/12/2022 22:16

I'll give a different response to most here. They are functioning addicts, I know many like this and they are in every profession , class and industry, especially my one in the City. For some its booze, others it's what they call recreational drugs

They are not evil, or whatever, just addicts. Addicts gravitate to each other, they wont care if you partake, as long as you don't try and stop them doing it.

Posters saying call SS, like that apparatus is fit for purpose in even dealing with cases of horrific sexual abuse, they're going to chase down middle class parents who do coke ??

OP, if you're a friend I would gently suggest they get a health check, that's usually enough for them to see the light and get help. By your 40's doing drugs weekly, be it booze, weed, coke, takes one hell of a toll on your body. It worked for a friend who discovered his heart was fucked and a whole host of problems he just couldn't ignore. He told his work and they supported him going rehab and therapy. The fact your friends all have middle class jobs means they are privileged their employers will see it has an illness, which essentially what it is.

Littlewhitecat · 02/12/2022 22:16

maddy68 · 02/12/2022 22:11

Using cocaine does not make them bad parents any more than having drinks when the kids have gone to bed in an ideal world neither would happen

If you are uncomfortable then leave the group

It makes them participators in county lines and human trafficking not to mention terrorism and organised crime. If you think this is in anyway equivalent to drinking alcohol then you are an idiot. Plus either way kids of drug users and alcoholics tend not to have idyllic childhoods.

Fairislefandango · 02/12/2022 22:19

Using cocaine does not make them bad parents

Apart from the fact that they are breaking the law and supporting the illegal drug trade you mean? Yeah they sound like great parents.

maddy68 · 02/12/2022 22:19

Showmethecardis · 02/12/2022 22:14

What’s the difference between a beer or a line? Neither would incapacitate you. Plenty of parents sink a bottle of Prosecco. You’re just buying into the illegal drugs = okay, illegal = wrong with no actual basis to that

Exactly this

A line doesn't have any more hazardous effect. Personally I find anyone who takes too many drugs or drinks too much rather tedious but lots of folk here have bought into the drugs are bad without any real understanding

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