Cocaine - is this weird?

[Creamofthecrop12]

I'll start this with I'm a drugs virgin, don't take them and never have done.
But I do know people who have in their 20s typically and then stopped as they hit 30ish, children or not. They weren't prolific users: weekends only.
I've become friendly with a group of long-term friends (early 40s/late 40s) who seemingly have it all.
They're friendly, good, well-paid jobs, lovely children, nice homes etc. The kids seem well-cared for.
But - f* me - they LOVE drugs. And in a way I'm really uncomfortable with but if I raise will almost certainly see me ousted from the group (I know this happened to a person before me).
There's been multiple occasions on a weekly basis where the children (toddlers and newborns) are kept in the care of both parents at 'family-style' events in the early evening and mum and dad are both doing lines.
Or they are kept up very late while both parents are high.
They also take other class A drugs (not heroin) regularly and the dads will do coke 2/3 times a week - even in the days/weeks after the baby was born.
I think this is odd but I value their friendship.
I guess I'm looking for an objective point of view that this behaviour isn't the norm.
Thanks.

You have a fundamentally different pov from these people so I don't think you'll lose much by ditching them.

They are addictive, but addicts are capable of recognising that they need to quit, and seeking help to do so. Plenty of people manage to quit various types of drug, including alcohol, because they make a choice to do so.

I wonder if all of you here are disgusted by the amount of alcohol that people
Take in front of kids. Having alcohol in the home, attending functions and parties with children where alcohol is flowing. Alcohol
Is one of the main reasons for domestic abuse, why people refer to someone as a druggy who takes a line or two it yet wouldn't call yourself an alcho when u have A few drinks at the weekend.
I'm, also not a drug virgin but havnt taken them since my twenties but I would view alcohol worse. I know plenty of people in their 40s/50s who take coke recreational and they are def not people who I would refer to as druggies...they are lovely people, well functioning, holding down jobs, have always provided for the kids..not everyone who takes a line or two becomes dependent to the point they can't function...not everyone becomes an addict,some people can actually go out and use their drug of choice and leave it there and continue on in life..
Like alcohol, if u choose to consume it, you must have adequate childcare provided but people don't seem to do that when drinking alcohol around kids, it seems more acceptable...you are all very judgemental and naive if u think that it's worse to take cocaine over alcohol..
And thinking about it..any time I have ever witnessed inappropriate behaviour or violence..has always being alcohol related, don't think i have ever seen an aggressive person on coke where I have seen plenty of alcohol related aggression..people, like those on this thread, love to bash others for their choices as it makes them feel better about their own poor choices but at end of the day, taking coke while around children is no worse than drinking alcohol around them

Of course they can't. I know someone who has ruined his life with cocaine use. Completely addicted to it. His heart is wrecked. You can't just stop taking it without significant effort once you've crossed that boundary.

YANBU I can't stand druggies.
And how they're treating the kids makes it even worse.

@Creamofthecrop12 I'd like to think I would just not be around these people, and that's what I'd advise.

It's no loss.

I would be uncomfortable with both parents being intoxicated further than a glass of wine when kids are in their care. Others might not but I think a lot of people would find it unacceptable. I'm a lone parent and will only have a very small glass of wine very occasionally when my child is in my sole care.

You can’t be that desperate for friends?
This is horrible! Ditch them.

Some people who lead otherwise very ‘normal’ and seemingly successful lives have an uncanny ability to compartmentalise and mentally shut out all the negatives around drugs.

I became friends with a guy a few years back. He was very wealthy, married, no kids (and no plans to have any), but very down to earth and in my opinion was a really good guy - went out of his way many times to help me out with various things and there were many nights where he talked about his values and life outlook with me over a few pints - similar values to my own in terms of ethics and treating people with respect and all that. He was someone I looked up to.

So I was somewhat surprised some time into our friendship to see him absolutely hoover up a small bag of coke one night. It became a common occurrence but only ever at weekends. Despite his ethical outlook, he has no opinion or thoughts on where drugs came from or their effect on society - that was all pushed out of his mind. Maybe someone else could have ignored it but I’m not a fan of drugs, having literally watched someone die in front of me at the age of 35 on a hospital bed due to drug abuse - which is a whole other story - so I found it very hard to keep seeing him in the same light.

It’s not the norm but it’s not uncommon. They grow out of it when they realise they have to deal with the kids on their comedowns.

Alcohol - whatever your views - is legal.
Cocaine is not.

Taking cocaine (well, the little bit of cocaine mixed with the talc, baking soda or whatever random crap the dealer has mixed in to make more money) around kids is just as bad as being blind drunk, but for the reasons mentioned by PPs, yes drug use is worse.
Kids weren't threatened and intimidated to transport my wine to the shop while putting their own liberties at risk, and no trafficking was involved. (Disclaimer: I rarely drink alcohol and don't drink when in sole charge of my kids, or around them).

There is always this argument...

Think about how many teenagers get murdered over a bottle of Chardonnay.
Think about whether a pint of lager is laced with diuretics and tranquillisers to cheapen its production.
Think about how often people have an adverse reaction to a small tot of whisky (that they may have had safely in the past), such that they die or become critically ill instantly.
Think about whether, if their child became ill, someone who'd had a couple of cocktails would avoid going to hospital or calling an ambulance in case someone realised what they'd been doing.

Additionally, I've seen many aggressive and violent cokeheads, so your sample might be off there.

diffandproud Have you thought about how the drugs come into the country? Gangs, prostitution, knife crime, mules, child couriers, drug gangs, murders of innocent people and gang members? Yes drugs are worse than alcohol. Moderation in alcohol can prevent MANY of the negative aspects.
With the exception of cannabis for pain relief, moderation in illegal drugs does not prevent ANY of the negative aspects.

Surely kids don’t think a glass of wine is that weird but watching your mum goofing up a line is a bit different? Not really about the behavior but about the act itself.

^
I used to take plenty of class As in my 20s. Totally stopped when I became a parent and can't imagine doing it now, especially with children around. I think it's grim and very uncool.

This. I have got loads of different friends with whom I took drugs at school, uni and in my 20s. In our 40s now and nobody does - it would be pretty tragic.^

The responses on here really worry me about my own dc. Is drug taking almost inevitable!? And at school!!!?

No one needs friends like that.

Just because something is legal, doesn't mean it is OK or safe. Marijuana is legal in a lot of places. Would you argue that smoking marijuana in the UK is dangerous but in Colorado it is safe? Legality isn't a good measure of danger. Drinking a bottle of vodka and looking after your child doesn't make it safe because it's a legal drug. I find this a bit of an odd argument.

Anon tip off to the police.

If the police raid and find something, then it will ruin their future holiday plans. But it might help protect the kids.

(Love your username in the context of this conversation 🤣)

I don't think it's about that. Legality means that kids aren't murdered over it, that there are production standards that mean you know exactly what you're getting and how strong it is, and that if you have a problem or become dependent you can seek help without fear.

I know various people who are in their 40s and have kids but still do drugs recreationally, sometimes at parties at home but after kids are asleep. The amount/frequency you're describing sounds excessive though, and doing drugs while your kids are awake and around is awful.

People who take strong drugs cannot cope with day to day life. Its a bit like talking to a child they lose the mental ability of a adult. They are unable to function without a fix. My niece nearly died because of a bad fix. They run out of cash so they have to buy the cheap fix. They both have 3 young children, and lie and steal and get aggressive. I no longer have contact with them.

‘but I value their friendship.’…don’t bother.

Like many before them, they think that they are the boss of any drink or drugs they knock back, but time shows that this often ain’t the case.

Small children being tended by adults who are high….just no.

’They're friendly, good, well-paid jobs, lovely children, nice homes etc.’ Imagine them without the fancy wrappings, just like a disadvantaged couple with kids on an everyday sink estate with limited resources or prospects, does that still feel OK or would you have concerns about them?

If you are in thrall to their glossy, exciting, have-it-all lifestyle, so be it.
The grass always looks greener.
You can see still the drug misuse for what it is.

I completely agree about that part. Cocaine is an awful drug, and yes lots of people are murdered because of it. I've never touched it. I was talking more in the context of people using it around their children.

Haha I did wonder how long it would take for people to clock my username 😂

Seriously not normal. Not saying it would happen necessarily but any situation which, should the police attend, results in adults being arrested and children taken into some sort of care arrangement (even for a night) is really not normal. Not to mention the terrifying thought of said children accidentally accessing drugs and where that could all end up. Have never taken or been tempted to take any sort of drugs and just fail to understand why anyone would want to be friends with people who do - especially once they are parents and therefore their actions have consequences for far more than just themselves. Deeply neglectful and selfish imo.

These are not ok people though.they can't co exist if the other side to them is so abhorrent.
And I'm almost laughing at if this was a lower class family same scene but in a dump of a house,kids in the room,parents doing drugs,beers instead of champagne,pizza instead of cavear.kidsin both scenes need protecting and fast.but it's ok in yours because they are upper class?nah.
And drugs and the shitstorm around that underworld is horrific. They are actively perpetuating harm,danger,death.