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Original poster

Cocaine - is this weird?

283 replies

Creamofthecrop12 · 02/12/2022 19:55

I'll start this with I'm a drugs virgin, don't take them and never have done.
But I do know people who have in their 20s typically and then stopped as they hit 30ish, children or not. They weren't prolific users: weekends only.
I've become friendly with a group of long-term friends (early 40s/late 40s) who seemingly have it all.
They're friendly, good, well-paid jobs, lovely children, nice homes etc. The kids seem well-cared for.
But - f* me - they LOVE drugs. And in a way I'm really uncomfortable with but if I raise will almost certainly see me ousted from the group (I know this happened to a person before me).
There's been multiple occasions on a weekly basis where the children (toddlers and newborns) are kept in the care of both parents at 'family-style' events in the early evening and mum and dad are both doing lines.
Or they are kept up very late while both parents are high.
They also take other class A drugs (not heroin) regularly and the dads will do coke 2/3 times a week - even in the days/weeks after the baby was born.
I think this is odd but I value their friendship.
I guess I'm looking for an objective point of view that this behaviour isn't the norm.
Thanks.

OP posts:
TheaBrandt · 02/12/2022 20:36

How on earth does this work when the children grow up? How will they hide this from young teens? What the hell message will they send? Kids are only curly haired utterly oblivious moppets for a few short years.

Annabel073 · 02/12/2022 20:37

Iflyaway · 02/12/2022 20:15

^tedgran · Today 20:04
Do these people ever stop to think how their drugs got here, and the misery of the folk involved in this despicable trade?^

Yes OP. Are you aware of the world-wide implications of "people needing to take coke"? The country of Mexico etc. Ports like Antwerpen, even going through Africa. It's horrendous. Even so-called "chill-out Amsterdam" has shootings in public, innocent people getting caught in the cross-fire.

How would you feel if you are at their house and the drugs squad do a raid. You would be implicated.

Feel so sorry for their kids. Cos the shit will hit the fan one day.

Not to mention trafficking of vulnerable children in country lines across the UK. How any parent could be comfortable with supporting this is beyond me. Definitely not someone I could ever consider being friends with.

Wheatandchaffinch · 02/12/2022 20:37

bluejelly · 02/12/2022 20:00

I used to take plenty of class As in my 20s. Totally stopped when I became a parent and can't imagine doing it now, especially with children around. I think it's grim and very uncool.

This. I used to as a teen/early 20s. Wouldn’t date since I had a family.

these people are utter losers, ditch them.

DarkKarmaIlama · 02/12/2022 20:37

You sound very needy. Afraid of being ousted from a load of druggies? I think you should value yourself.

I have family members who sniff coke and I would never in a million years pick them as friends. Unfortunately for me I’m stuck with them as family.

Supersimkin2 · 02/12/2022 20:40

Drives me nuts.

It’s always up to other people to rescue/feed their small DC which makes a shitty party for the rest of us.

Wheatandchaffinch · 02/12/2022 20:40

ChatterMonkey · 02/12/2022 20:19

I know people that continued with coke into their 30s, and had kids, but the two were seperate things. So coke use decreased and only for times when babysitter was available for the night and majority of the day after.

Its not my cup of tea, but taking any drugs and looking after children is a big no no for me. And i include drinking to the extent of being drunk in that too so not just against illegal drugs.

But they’re not separate things. What happens if there’s an issue with the children and both their parents are off their heads? Uncontactable? It’s selfish, utterly selfish. You’re friends are selfish, to do that to their kids and their babysitter.

LimitedBiscuits · 02/12/2022 20:41

Hope you can extract yourself in tact OP.

Something so dirty about sniffing lines with kids about. Really irresponsible (on so many levels) and It's so blatant (like the poster above who heard the sniffs), and yeah, people turn into knobs with a load of up their own arse chat.

Tbh I am starting to feel the same about alcohol, it's just a more socially acceptable blind spot.... But I know plenty of people who's thinking etc is impaired from alcohol when they have the kids around.

EwwSprouts · 02/12/2022 20:41

OP Do you have children of your own that you take along?

Original poster
Creamofthecrop12 · 02/12/2022 20:42

God, no.

OP posts:
roarfeckingroarr · 02/12/2022 20:42

I know many like this.

I was like this until I had a child.

It makes me deeply uncomfortable that people carry on with kids around / in the house. It's not uncommon.

Bathtubbathing · 02/12/2022 20:43

What's weird is that you haven't called social services over this.

Both parents on coke when they're supposed to be parenting young children. HUGE SAFEGUARDING ISSUE.

Please do more than just withdraw from this friendship group. Protect the children too.

OCDmama · 02/12/2022 20:43

These aren't good people. At all.

Aside from what is actual child abuse, and you should be calling SS over (taking coke while looking after children what the actual fuck), there will be many deaths associated with every single minute bit of drug they take. They're happy to live with the blood of people poorer than themselves on their hands.

Cascais · 02/12/2022 20:44

These are not people you want as friends

Bananagirl23 · 02/12/2022 20:44

A school mum invited me to a family friendly party with loads of kids running around. No drugs but so, so much alcohol going round and everyone was getting completely wasted and smoking cigarettes in front of the kids. I made a hasty exit. Obviously drugs are worse but I don’t get why adults think it’s ok to behave like that in front of children. Plus what if someone gets hurt? Who is going to take them to the hospital? It’s just awful. Keep the adult parties separate.

BiscuitLover3678 · 02/12/2022 20:44

It’s awful and they’re normalising it around each other because they’re middle class and apparently it’s ok.

5128gap · 02/12/2022 20:44

The children are not well cared for OP. It's just that their parents good jobs, wealth, nice homes and intelligence and articulacy enables them to mask their neglect. The children are well presented as they can throw money at meeting their needs, good food and clothes despite their habit, as well as cleaners, childcare, and so on to fill the gaps. But ultimately a coke habit, as the men at least appear to have, and good parenting, are pretty much mutually exclusive.
If they lived in a run down flat in a bad area and didn't have jobs, the world and its mother would be running to social services before they could say Atishoo. Beneath the superficial gloss, your friends are no different.
I socialised with a crowd like this when I was younger OP, and for your own children's sake I'd say distance yourself.

dolor · 02/12/2022 20:45

So full disclosure, I'm a weed user, and I use it in small amounts to stem my anxiety and pain related to my physical, mental and neuro issues.

I don't like to be heavily stoned at all, it's unpleasant. I don't drink.

I believe certain types of drugs should be decriminalised, but the ones I think should be kept illegal, are coke and heroin. Both of them are godawful. The damage and violence born from them both is beyond description.

Saying that, you are clearly not at all compatible with this group of people, and truthfully their behaviour is so far part reasonable, that I would run a mile.

I know folks who partied with coke and heroin in their twenties and thirties, but then the ones that survived it, settled down and got on with their lives, at least one has his own family now.

My advice would be to just disengage, don't go into too much detail, but say that you're not comfortable being around drugs, and that leave it at that. If they get shitty then you KNOW you made the right decision.

Original poster
Creamofthecrop12 · 02/12/2022 20:45

Sorry - to update.
No children. I wouldn't.
Thanks for everyone being so kind.
I was stunned when I found out. Ditching this lot! I'm sorry for now adults who suffered as kids.

OP posts:
Hawkins001 · 02/12/2022 20:45

It's a pickle and I Understand your perspectives op

Itaintwhatyoudoitsthewaythatyoudoit · 02/12/2022 20:45

Even without children being involved in this sorry mess, I would not be friends with drug users. They are scum supporting scum. The number of people who are harmed and killed in the process of drug running is horrific. The number of police hours wasted going because of druggies and drug pushers. The number of burglaries, knife attacks, needle attacks because of drug users. They are scum. The people who sell drugs are scum. Why on earth do you want to be friends with scum?

Whattodo182 · 02/12/2022 20:46

Coralpop · 02/12/2022 20:02

This. I have got loads of different friends with whom I took drugs at school, uni and in my 20s. In our 40s now and nobody does - it would be pretty tragic.

Show quote history

Yup!
Again, me and DH enjoyed our youth very illegally. I think I'd feel like a sad act trying to relive that now we have DC.
Same with our friends. We know some acquaintances shall I say, who still do class A, they don't have many friends and are just fucking weird tbh. 🤔

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 02/12/2022 20:46

Creamofthecrop12 · 02/12/2022 19:55

I'll start this with I'm a drugs virgin, don't take them and never have done.
But I do know people who have in their 20s typically and then stopped as they hit 30ish, children or not. They weren't prolific users: weekends only.
I've become friendly with a group of long-term friends (early 40s/late 40s) who seemingly have it all.
They're friendly, good, well-paid jobs, lovely children, nice homes etc. The kids seem well-cared for.
But - f* me - they LOVE drugs. And in a way I'm really uncomfortable with but if I raise will almost certainly see me ousted from the group (I know this happened to a person before me).
There's been multiple occasions on a weekly basis where the children (toddlers and newborns) are kept in the care of both parents at 'family-style' events in the early evening and mum and dad are both doing lines.
Or they are kept up very late while both parents are high.
They also take other class A drugs (not heroin) regularly and the dads will do coke 2/3 times a week - even in the days/weeks after the baby was born.
I think this is odd but I value their friendship.
I guess I'm looking for an objective point of view that this behaviour isn't the norm.
Thanks.

It's not the norm and heaven forbid one of the children inadvertently gets hold of the drugs and infests them. These otherwise respectable people are unfit parents.

Wheatandchaffinch · 02/12/2022 20:47

Are you going to report them OP?

EastLondonObserver · 02/12/2022 20:47

parents with young kids doing coke 2-3 times per week I would say is fairly unusual

oakleaffy · 02/12/2022 20:51

Dump them, @Creamofthecrop12
Nothing is a boring as a room full of coked up Arseholes.
The comedown had them at each others's throats.
Avoid.