Bad parent award goes to me tonight

[Tusktusk]

I forgot to attend my DC’s parents evening.

Here’s my list of excuses:
I have a very demanding job
I worked late
I have had a headache all day
DC isn’t with me this evening to remind me with their presence
Parents evening was online, not at school, which makes it seem less of an ‘event’ in my internal calendar
DC is doing fine by all available evidence so I have no concerns on my mind

But you know what, these are terrible excuses and I am struggling to forgive myself.

Feel like a truly shitty parent tonight.

How old is DC?

You aren’t the first or last. Honestly, please don’t beat yourself up, just give the teacher a call and get an over the phone conversation.

I've forgotten parents evening before. Call the school. They can probably schedule it again. Don't feel bad. We've just got too many things to remember all the time,.

I have never, never forgotten an in person parents evening over the past 12 years of multiple DC being in school. I forgot 2 online parents evenings within 6 months last year. You're right, online just doesn't seem like a memory worth event in my internal calendar in the same way as in person.

Dont beat yourself up. It happens. If it's any consolation, DS1s teachers once didn't turn up to a virtual parents evening until 7 minutes into our timed 10 minute slot. Apparently they'd got sidetracked 'chatting'. Your reasons are far more acceptable.

Don't worry about it. I'm sure the teacher can catch you up at some point. Depending on your child's age there might not even be anything worth talking about.

DH and I both managed to miss the emails in respect of DS’s parents’ evening last term 😳 Managed to get to Y12 before we missed one!

If it helps, I quite like it when a parent misses an online appointment- it means I can go for a wee!

DC is 14.
I can’t really reschedule because it was with several different teachers.

If any of the the teachers have concerns they'll contact you.

You made a mistake. You’re not the first or last, and if you were such a terrible parent you wouldn’t feel so bad. Anyway (in my experience of one of my kids really struggling at school) if there was anything to be concerned about you’d already know, they wouldn’t just pop it on the calendar and wait till parents evening!

I used to do parents evenings when I worked at a school preschool and this sometimes happened. I always thought it was great because the slots were really tightly structured so it gave me a little window in case somebody ran over!

I think I’m most bothered about how I will explain it to DC when they ask. They will think I don’t care.

I forgot to pick them up from after school club yesterday. Got my days mixed up and thought they were at their dads, came home from work, had a glass of wine, sat on the sofa for 45 mins, get a call from after school club at 6.05pm asking where I was. Couldn't drive after drinking. Had to ask neighbour to give me a 5 min lift to the school to collect them. 😂

I wouldn't worry OP.

It's not absolutely ideal, top drawer parenting, but it's nowhere near bad parenting. Just one of those things.

It's not a big deal, and definitely doesn't make you a bad parent. But it is a symptom that you are probably doing too much. Maybe time to reevaluate a few things if possible.

They won't think this if you do usually care. They might think it if you are generally careless - am assuming not given it is bothering you!

Last time I couldn't attend a parents' even I asked for a bit of email feedback where anyone had anything they needed to tell me - they were very kind about this.

I think just forgive yourself. Humans forget things occasonally.

I have to say I get really fed up of these maytryish “oh I’m soooo shit at parenting” posts. No one expects perfection, no one expects you to do everything Every other dad misses parents evening - do you think they feel bad? I’m handing you a grip - you’re not a shit parent, stop judging yourself

I've forgotten a hospital appointment by phone before, previous poster is right when she says virtual appointments are easier to forget. I think it is because you are not having to set aside as much time to travel somewhere and consider travel, parking etc.

It was a mistake. I really wouldn’t beat yourself up for long - email the teacher, apologize to your DC and see if you can rearrange another appointment.

I’m sat here feeling terrible because I am at the end of my tether and shouted at DS at bedtime. I feel awful about it now.

Oh good lord - it happens. Don’t give yourself a hard time.

Just tell your DC you got the date wrong (or say you weren’t well if you are really bothered) but you’re looking forward to talking to their teachers on the phone. They won’t think it’s a big deal unless you behave like it is.

I'm lucky if I can get an appointment to speak to my 14 year old's teachers at parents' evening. Once all the slots are full, tough luck. There's like 30 slots for 60 kids.

It can't be deemed that important.

I have to say, I agree with this. It's a very, very small thing in the grander tapestry of life.

There are umpteen examples of "shit parenting" to be found up and down the country tonight - things which are tied in with poverty, hunger, abuse, and neglect.

By all accounts, it sounds like your child is doing absolutely fine. Leave the "bad parent award" for those who are in a much worse place.

I turned up on the wrong day once. I'd even told DH the wrong day, so he had left work early!

We nearly missed an online one as we had a power cut... fortunately only a couple of minutes!

As a general rule the type of parents to feel they have failed the parenting olympics wouldn't feel terrible over these type of decisions or indeed the type of decisions that actually jeopardise their children. So meh.

Email the teachers and just say, sorry you missed it, do they have any concerns, what can dc do going forward to improve? Copy and paste the same email and just locate the email addresses on the school website. It take 10 mins. Tell dc you’re sorry and you got caught up at work but have emailed them for an update. Don’t stress, it happens.