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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The Lady Hussey racism thing

1000 replies

Tiiiiiiiiiiired · 01/12/2022 10:58

I am really conflicted about this.

If went to live in Japan (I did live there for 3 years several years ago) I would be expected to be asked about where I'm from because I don't look Japanese (and in fact I was asked many times! I didn't mind at all, it was my choice to be in Japan and I knew I didn't look japanese). If I chose to stay in that country and have children, I'd expect my children would be asked the same, and their children and that although they would be Japanese by birth, I would hope they would be happy to talk about their heritage and where they are from and not mind being asked why they don't look Japanese and what the history is. I wouldnt think it racist and wouldn't want such questions to be stopped because we only learn from others, and about others, by talking and feeling safe to ask questions.

So why in the UK does everyone have to be sooo careful with what they say? This woman has a non English name, was wearing some non western clothing, as was asked about her heritage. Why is this abuse?

We need to stop being so sensitive and allow dialogue.

OP posts:
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thehorsehasnowbolted · 02/12/2022 07:52

But we are living in the UK, so YOU should provide proof

No. You've come up with a dubious idea that a country having a majority white population must somehow be 'a problem'. I don't need to prove anything and I would actually be quite concerned if someone told this to me as I would be worried that the person may be racist

Squeezita · 02/12/2022 08:02

thehorsehasnowbolted · 02/12/2022 07:52

But we are living in the UK, so YOU should provide proof

No. You've come up with a dubious idea that a country having a majority white population must somehow be 'a problem'. I don't need to prove anything and I would actually be quite concerned if someone told this to me as I would be worried that the person may be racist

But it’s fine for you to come up with the dubious idea that a black woman is lying despite witnesses and the perpetrator apologising and resigning and yet you still demand proof incessantly?

Squeezita · 02/12/2022 08:05

BoffinMum · 02/12/2022 06:32

Caption is ‘They’re changing guard at Buckingham Palace’.

Maybe she can ask the guard 7 times where he’s from!

thehorsehasnowbolted · 02/12/2022 08:05

and yet you still demand proof incessantly?

Indeed, because a lady has lost her post due to this debacle

Lunar270 · 02/12/2022 08:17

thehorsehasnowbolted · 02/12/2022 07:52

But we are living in the UK, so YOU should provide proof

No. You've come up with a dubious idea that a country having a majority white population must somehow be 'a problem'. I don't need to prove anything and I would actually be quite concerned if someone told this to me as I would be worried that the person may be racist

As opposed to being a complete Muppet?

BoffinMum · 02/12/2022 08:40

Peter Brookes is 'very good' precisely because there are masses of possible interpretations to that political cartoon, some of which involve taking one side, and some which involve taking the other. Some don't involve taking any side at all. Don't you see what he has done here? That is why it is brilliant.

Squeezita · 02/12/2022 08:48

thehorsehasnowbolted · 02/12/2022 08:05

and yet you still demand proof incessantly?

Indeed, because a lady has lost her post due to this debacle

So where’s your proof Ms Fulani is lying?

RedAndBlueStripedGolfingUmbrella · 02/12/2022 08:49

Pegasus28 · 01/12/2022 23:50

The alleged conversation was not a transcript, unless it was transcribed from a recording or an original document. Was it from a recording? It was quite a lengthy and coherent alleged conversation from someone supposedly feeling shaken traumatised and violated.

What's that supposed to mean?
Sometimes you can remember things word for word, especially in times of being bullied/personally attacked or whatever.
It sticks with you.
So why the "alleged?" 🙄 and if she was shaking etc doesn't mean all thoughts go out of her head and her memory goes! 🙄

Squeezita · 02/12/2022 08:52

@RedAndBlueStripedGolfingUmbrella agreed, she needs to provide proof of her version in the form of her own transcript of the event.

Unless such is forthcoming, Ngozi’s transcript is the record for posterity.

stuntbubbles · 02/12/2022 08:54

thehorsehasnowbolted · 02/12/2022 08:05

and yet you still demand proof incessantly?

Indeed, because a lady has lost her post due to this debacle

An enormously rich 83-year-old has voluntarily resigned from an unpaid honorary piece of archaic nonsense. Let’s not paint this as someone losing an actual job.

BoffinMum · 02/12/2022 08:57

Horse, she is a hanger-on IMVHO and has been allowed to enjoy the association with the Palace for 62 years with all the kudos that brings. Now she is being held to account for circulating at a public function and not discussing the thing they were all there to reflect on (domestic violence) but in the case of one charity CEO and perhaps even one male university Vice Chancellor, putting her foot in her mouth in a completely unacceptable way, like a dotty old aunt let loose at a golf club dinner dance after a couple of sherries.

You don't know what has been going on prior to this - she may even have been doing this for years with people too polite to point it out - slightly inappropriate questions to those she sees as a lower social class to herself about their backgrounds, other odd questions about nationality or ethnicity, flippant nonsense about working mothers or whatever - I don't know exactly what, but I mean various little sub-radar verbal assaults aimed at making sure certain people know their place, that they are "othered", that they are on that back foot.

I go to events like this from time to time, and believe me, I see this happen repeatedly from certain types of people and I get really fed up with it and not being able to wade in (it's often done subtly so there is plausible deniability and you have to decide which battles to fight, sometimes you just steer the conversation away). I can't see what useful purpose is served by allowing SH to continue to circulate at public events in an ancient institution desperately trying to modernise itself, and to retain a relevant role in a modern society that is increasingly doubtful about supporting it.

An aside - I note she was charged with helping Princess Diana and the Duchess of Sussex to 'settle in' to the Royal Family upon marriage. If this is the kind of negativity they were faced with daily, it would perhaps be one of the contributory factors in why they both more or less eventually imploded.

PersonWithASmile · 02/12/2022 09:50

Excellent post @BoffinMum

An aside - I note she was charged with helping Princess Diana and the Duchess of Sussex to 'settle in' to the Royal Family upon marriage. If this is the kind of negativity they were faced with daily, it would perhaps be one of the contributory factors in why they both more or less eventually imploded.

Wouldn't it be ironic if a great deal of the royal family's unfortunate developments centred around this Lady Susan Hussey and her imperious micro- (and not so micro) aggressions towards Diana and Meghan and now towards a female guest at the palace? I think we all know the type, luckily their toxic and judgmental inanities are getting less and less relevant in today's world. LSH is a symbol of what is So wrong with the royal family.

Quirkyme · 02/12/2022 09:54

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

PickyEaters · 02/12/2022 09:55

Firstly - Hussey touched her hair. The nerve. GTFOH - dont touch. I dont get the obsession with our hair, is it a fetish? Ive had to warn off people from touching my hair many a time. When they've asked, I've said no, then they still try to reach out. It makes my skin crawl.

This isn't exclusive to your ethnic group. I had this througout my teenage years asa punk rocker with a Mohican.

And John Travolta had the same problem in Saturday Night Fever!

Squeezita · 02/12/2022 09:59

PickyEaters · 02/12/2022 09:55

Firstly - Hussey touched her hair. The nerve. GTFOH - dont touch. I dont get the obsession with our hair, is it a fetish? Ive had to warn off people from touching my hair many a time. When they've asked, I've said no, then they still try to reach out. It makes my skin crawl.

This isn't exclusive to your ethnic group. I had this througout my teenage years asa punk rocker with a Mohican.

And John Travolta had the same problem in Saturday Night Fever!

Do you still have your Mohican? No.

So why make an equivalence with black hair?

PickyEaters · 02/12/2022 09:59
Squeezita · 02/12/2022 10:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PersonWithASmile · 02/12/2022 10:16

It's as if Mumsnet has turned into Twitter with this topic.

I suppose they need the traffic and ad revenue so they welcome this influx of racists. Recession, COL etc.

Squeezita · 02/12/2022 10:18

PersonWithASmile · 02/12/2022 10:16

It's as if Mumsnet has turned into Twitter with this topic.

I suppose they need the traffic and ad revenue so they welcome this influx of racists. Recession, COL etc.

I think it’s because the racists have made themselves a laughing stock on this thread. Better let it stay for all to see.

thehorsehasnowbolted · 02/12/2022 10:36

that another thread on the same topic was deleted and I hope this thread is too and somehow my comment broke Mumsnet's guidelines?

I can understand that seeing the other side being allowed to - shock horror- have an opinion, and let alone, express it can be quite triggering, yes

thehorsehasnowbolted · 02/12/2022 10:38

Unless such is forthcoming, Ngozi’s transcript is the record for posterity.

Posterity? Do you believe this event massively blown out of proportion to push political agendas is some kind of historic milestone? We are seriously getting into lunacy territory here

thehorsehasnowbolted · 02/12/2022 10:39

And why do people go on and on about hair? I don't ever see people attempting to touch someone else's hair or showing any interest whatsoever IRL. Odd

Quirkyme · 02/12/2022 10:40

It is absolutely disgusting that you have decided to make a thread on this. Referring to it as the LH "racism thing" is vile in itself as is comparing it to yourself living in Japan.
You didn't even bother to read the transcript in it's entirety; she also touched Ngozi's hair, but yet you say you are "conflicted" and "tired" and talk of "sensitivity".

You are not a black woman, and what happened was blatant racism, which you try to justify and belittle referring to Ngozi's non-English name and choice of clothing.

The other thread about this was deleted and I hope this thread is too. Your tone about this is absolutely disgusting and offensive. Don't speak on experiences that you have the privilege of not going through and don't ever try to compare it to your nonsensical example.

thehorsehasnowbolted · 02/12/2022 10:42

It is absolutely disgusting that you have decided to make a thread on this

Please calm down

Feef83 · 02/12/2022 10:43

Astonishing that Ngozi has managed to get so many people to regard her version of the conversation as a transcript. Work of genius

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