The Lady Hussey racism thing

[Tiiiiiiiiiiired]

I am really conflicted about this.

If went to live in Japan (I did live there for 3 years several years ago) I would be expected to be asked about where I'm from because I don't look Japanese (and in fact I was asked many times! I didn't mind at all, it was my choice to be in Japan and I knew I didn't look japanese). If I chose to stay in that country and have children, I'd expect my children would be asked the same, and their children and that although they would be Japanese by birth, I would hope they would be happy to talk about their heritage and where they are from and not mind being asked why they don't look Japanese and what the history is. I wouldnt think it racist and wouldn't want such questions to be stopped because we only learn from others, and about others, by talking and feeling safe to ask questions.

So why in the UK does everyone have to be sooo careful with what they say? This woman has a non English name, was wearing some non western clothing, as was asked about her heritage. Why is this abuse?

We need to stop being so sensitive and allow dialogue.

You haven't actually had it happen to you though have you? No. You think that you hope your grandkids who would be Japanese by nationality would be happy to be asked every frickin time but you don't know because it's all hypothetical to you. Frankly you don't get to tell me how to feel or stop being sensitive. I might not look white but I am British, born in England, as was my mum (not my dad though), I speak English as a first language, I am proud of my heritage and the religion and culture does influence my life but if I tell you I'm from Manchester leave it at that.

Yabu.

The problem was that the royal refused to accept Fulani was british because she didn't look british.

Insisting that racism is ok or not real racism because it comes from old and/or posh people is so tedious
stop it

I'm foreign, happy to be asked about where I am from. My accent gives me away. She was clearly British and it was a totally random conversation. They aren't friends, she doesn't need to know where her grandparents came from. It's bizarre to ask someone on meeting them. And your imaginary future grandchildren would probably agree with me.

I'm glad there has been someone to properly step up and take on Prince Philip's good work at these events.

Ngozi was dressed in a way that was clearly meant to celebrate her African heritage. Which is clearly fine. She dressed in the same way on the TV today. But it's a bit odd to then get frosty when people take your choice of dress as a cue to ask about your African heritage.

The repeated questioning was insensitive and I can see why it bothered her, but at the same time Ngozi did create a bit of a situation by deliberately misunderstanding question the first time it was asked.

OP I think you’re being disingenuous.

Hussey knows the etiquette. She probably teaches it. Come on.

I might ask someone with an American accent where they’re from in the States. (And they might say Canada, oops.) But let’s not pretend this degree of intrusion we read about is normal conversation.

If you didn't look ethnically Japanese, they would probably not accept that as an aswer, no. Japan is in general a more ethnically conscious society than ours.

I've been asked the question Ngozi was asked, and I'm white. Where you are from? Wales. Where are you REALLY from? Well my family's from Greece. Oh wow, I love visiting Greece...etc etc

It's not a question I relish but I don't think it's racist. People are just interested in heritage.

In general I think older people can sometimes come off as a bit bigoted, not because they really are, but because they struggle to keep up with the latest social mores. Especially octogenerians who often have some mild age related cognitive decline. I think of Biden and his infamous statement "You ain't Black!" to a Black man who was thinking of not voting Democrat. Biden wasn't being racist, he just assumed that Black people were natural Democrat voters. He wasn't trying to offend. I think it was the same with SH.

I think it would have been more productive to deal with it privately rather than expose it to the hive mind of Twitter. We'll all be old one day, we too will struggle to keep up with the latest thining, and I for one hope I'll be able to benefit from more kindness and patience than Susan Hussey did.

She was badgered repeatedly. That woman wasn't really asking "where are you from?" she was asking "why are you black?". Ngozi told her multiple times where she was from, WITH HER LONDON ACCENT, but apparently her answer wasn't good enough.

If you read the alleged exchange it was very rude - and to an invited guest too.

I don't know why so many people are falling over themselves trying to justify it. Presumably because they've also lingered longer than they should have, trying to dissect someone's ethnicity at a drinks mixer.

She didn't ask about her African heritage though
for goodness sake this woman is a senior aristocrat in the royal household (?) and knows how to conduct herself with proper etiquette. She didn't think it was required to do so because the woman was black.

Exactly. Ngoni Fulani was being othered in her own country of birth.

The subtext of Lady Hussey's question really was: why are you here when you're black?

I've been asked the question Ngozi was asked, and I'm white. Where you are from? Wales. Where are you REALLY from? Well my family's from Greece. Oh wow, I love visiting Greece...etc etc

It's not a question I relish but I don't think it's racist. People are just interested in heritage

You aren't black. Why do you think those experiences are the same?

I don't get that from the information. Its a shame you did.

She wore a dress which reflected her heritage. She was asked (repeatedly) "where are you from" - with no acknowledgement or acceptance of her actual answer.

She wasn't asked about her dress, her heritage etc by someone interested in it.

She was basically told she was lying about where she was from because the woman was looking at someone black and refusing to accept that she was born in Britain.

Where someone is from (in this case Hackney) is different to their Heritage.

There is no excuse whatsoever for the line of questioning/interrogation in any circumstances. Not least at some royal event, whatever it was. Not least that it was in London where anyone can see that there’s a huge mix of races just in normal day to day life, without people being “foreign”.

The whole thing is so overdramatic and blown out of proportion.

White person dares to ask a black person where she is originally from. White person is racist- “yes, let’s use that narrative and destroy white person’s life whilst making a heroine of black person”.

’She was badgered repeatedly. That woman wasn't really asking "where are you from?" she was asking "why are you black?". Ngozi told her multiple times where she was from, WITH HER LONDON ACCENT, but apparently her answer wasn't good enough.’

This.

Thanks to PP who pointed out she wasn’t being asked where she was from but where her skin colour was from. I think that’s it in a nutshell.

1. The woman responded "I'm from Hackney" - she didn't have an issue with that.
2. She was then further questioned on where she is actually from - subtext being that she can't actually be from Hackney, being black and all.

There were several things that make this VERY different to your experience;

1. white people haven’t been bought and sold by the aristocracy as slaves in recent history. Mistreated. Treated as sub- human. Etc etc. so already the historical backdrop is completely different.
2. As a white person you have been privileged without even knowing it. You haven’t had to face the implicit and explicit racism that people of colour experience daily.
3. She clearly felt felt superior enough and within her rights to touch her hair and move it out of the way like she was some kind of commodity (with the historical back drop in mind you can see just how horrifying that is surely?).
4. Because of the colour of her skin and her appearance she then went on to insist that she was not British and interrogated her about this. I think this woman was perfectly capable of knowing and articulating her own identity. Such arrogance and clearly racist. She wouldn’t have treated a whole person in that way. Someone whose parents were originally from Sweden for example. White skin and British accent - she would have accepted her first answer. Probably wouldn’t have been asked. British accent and brown skin - she was asked and then further interrogated.

I am sure that there are other differences that I’ve missed but that what comes immediately to mind.

The point is that this is Britain, people who are British have a range of different skin colours, it doesn't make them less British.

The Japanese have an unusual and fairly unpleasant attitude to excluding non-Japanese people from their society. I don't see how that is particularly relevant. They don't aspire to be a multicultual society.

This woman isn't some doddery old dear who hasn't moved with the times, she was there to represent the constitutional monarchy.

Having to explain where your ancestors came from the whole time makes people feel like outsiders, in a context where people can still be attacked, brutalised by police, discriminated against at work etc. You might as well approach someone and say 'I see you're not one of us, explain your family history so I can judge you'.

Britain has always been a melting pot of people coming from different places, people with dark skin might have ancestors who have been here longer than the ancestors of people with white skin.

Either way it's a shitty way to treat someone who's on a jolly to the palace to celebrate their good work.

"Where are you from" is not in itself a racist question.

If your answer is "yorkshire" (insert British place of choice) and the response is one that screams "no way you can't possibly be because you are different to how I look" then you are pushing it

If that position is repeatedly held to a point the person asked is uncomfortable that's a problem.

If the response is "how lovely, whereabouts, it's such a big county" then it remains just a question about where the person lives.

Context is everything. In this instance there was no acceptance that she might be British and that can only be because of the colour of her skin.

@NellesVilla you think the black person was over dramatic when the white person was just being curious. Just wow.

OP do you really think that you can just imagine yourself in a vaguely similar circumstances and propose you will know exactly how you would think and act in that situation?

You've got to be kidding me right?

It was a horribly racist exchange. By not listening and pressing the point in an incredibly patronising way Ms Hussey treated her guest contemptuously.

Also, some people really don't know what their 'heritage' is. For example, the whole idea behind slavery was to erase someone's name and where they were from - to strip their identity from them and turn them from a human into a commodity. It's not an 'innocent question' in every case, is it?

I have a Latvian surname inherited from a grandparent. Everyone else is English, including myself.
Every time I give my surname I am asked where it's from, what's the history, where do I get it from.

I've never once taken offence.

I know there a difference between innocence and ignore certain and not everyone will have this experience. But I do think there's an over sensitivity some times and the cancel culture in the country means that when offence is taken the other person suffers massively.