To be proud of my son for standing up to his bully?

[Spreeofthemoment]

My DS is in y6. One boy in particular has been making his(and a few others) life hell he’s it wanted to go to school because of him. Well today, he snapped and floored this boy after he came and pushed DS over(he’s always pushing him!). This boys nose was bleeding. I got a call off the head and told him I won’t be punishing my son and that I’m proud of him for standing up for himself and showing this boy he won’t be bullied anymore, as clearly the school weren’t doing anything to protect my son!

Making someone else bleed on purpose definitely is.

Good for him. Self-defence is a good thing. There is nothing wrong with a boy fighting back against his bully.

Good on him!!!!

@Pumperthepumper

Oh do behave 🤣

He retaliated and defended himself twice against physical assaults after years of putting up with it.

He has not physically nor verbally attacked anyone else ever.
He isn't a bully.

Good on your son!

I don’t buy into this crap that says we need to “understand” the bully and that “hitting back means you’re just as bad as the bully”.

I’d give him a special treat for standing up for himself.

I doubt the bully will pick on him
again.

I voted yanbu because I'd want my child to stand up against a bully BUT it only takes one shove or punch for someone to fall back and smack their head causing serious injury or worse.

Good for him. Nasty little bullies need to be put in their place. And the school is at fault for not dealing with it previously.

I had the same with DS. Constantly grabbed round the neck and thrown to the floor. Until he lost it, pulled bully down with him and smacked bully's head on the concrete floor. I'd told them one day DS would lose his temper - completely the fault of the wet lettuce head who wasn't minded to deal with the bullying. I didn't punish DS - bullies parents hadn't punished him each time so why should I?

I wouldn't be congratulatory, no. Your own experience of being bullied is obviously feeding this attitude. Try and be a bit more responsible. Whilst you might not punish your son I don't think you should be telling him how proud you are of him. At what age do you think he should stop solving his problems by punching someone? 13, 15, 18, 21, 40?

Well done! My son had a similar experience in Y6 and had been bullied for ages and nothing that the school did helped. He eventually snapped and leg swept the boy in the playground so hard that he couldn't walk properly for the rest of the day. I said exactly the same thing to the head as you. Funnily enough the bullying stopped.

Live by the sword die by the sword

If we adopted that attitude during WW2 we would be ruled by Nazis now.

Bullies have to be stood up to.

Good for your son, I'm glad he stood up to the bully. I've always said to my children that if someone pushes them or hits them, then they should do it back harder. But they should never be the first to use force/violence in any situation. It's simply about self defence.

See also… UKRAINE.

Well done to your son

He deliberately made someone bleed. It’s stupid to escalate a situation due to some weird myth that all it takes to stop a bully is more violence.

This. There are others ways.

my daughter was bullied eventually it was seen and caught and my god the headteacher had the parents and the kids in and went to town and it never ever happened again

join the pta

attack bullying head on as a parent governor etc

@Pumperthepumper it was most definitely not deliberate. It was an unprovoked attack from the bully. My DS just had enough and defended himself in the spur of the moment.
I won’t be rewarding’ what happened. But he certainly won’t be punished for it

@InSummertime tjats great that it worked out for you. My son has ADHD and struggles to communicate sometimes with words. I’ve told him(many times) what to say to fend this arsehole off, but it hasn’t worked

So what are you going to do when the bully retaliates? What your advice to him now?

Petra don’t understand your comment? That phase means if bullies go around bashing other kids they can expect to get bashed themselves and they can’t really complain about it…

Nope, not if you've had numerous physical attacks by that person. Maybe you need to look up bullying in the dictionary. It certainly isn't one incident of self defence.

All these people saying he shouldn’t have done what he did… should he have told a teacher? Should he have told me? Should he have cowered on the floor crying?
he’s done all that and it carried on. Now he’s fought back and I’m proud of him. I suspect the little shit who was relentlessly being cruel and violent towards my boy, will think twice, now that he’s had a taste of his own medicine. I applaud him and will advocate him as long as I’m on this earth

But you won’t answer what you’ll do if the bully retaliates. What’s next?

Hmm… dreadful behaviour of the bully you must mean? Weird reaction otherwise. And sure the retaliation wasn’t great, but sometimes you can only take so much…

Jeez, some of these replies.

I have said to DS, you don't ever throw the first punch, but you absolutely must defend yourself. There may be consequences, but I will have your back.

Which is exactly what the OPs ds has done.

As an adult, if you were physically attacked you'd fight back.