I know I am but this child was talking non stop for 45 minutes

[Eastie77Returns]

Went to a cafe with a friend this afternoon. A woman came in with 2 children aged about 5 who sat next to us. One of the children spoke loudly non-stop for the entire duration of our stay. It was loud enough that my friend and I couldn’t hear ourselves speak at times and when I say non-stop, the child did not stop at all.

On a few occasion child’s mother made a gentle shh sound but otherwise just stared into the middle distance. If we hadn’t ordered food we honestly would have left earlier. The talking was not the problem really it was the shouting and screeching “MUMMY DID YOU KNOW..” constantly. Loud child placed her hand over the mouth of the other child when that child tried to speak and shouted over her. At one point the child asked me about my book which was on the table next to me. I answered politely and she then proceeded to bellow at me for about 5 minutes. In the end I had to stop answering her as she would not stop. Mum did not intervene. The people on the other side got up and moved to another table at one point - sadly we were too slow to do the same.

We left as soon as we’d finished eating and got a coffee at another cafe nearby.

Flame away but oh my fucking god. AIBU to be really annoyed that the parent did nothing to stop this annoying child??! And yes, I have DC. One is very chatty and I would not have permitted this kind of loud behaviour.

Also, for those mentioning ASD, my oldest child went to a special school because of this. It meant we had to be extra strict with the result that he did not generally annoy members of the public and, as an adult, is able to largely fit into society. I didn’t give up or give in to his disability - that is lazy parenting and sets up all sorts of problems for the future.

My DN used to talk non-stop.

One day I said to her "It's time to be quiet now" and she just stopped talking. This was pre-DC for me, and I felt pretty genius The same sentence has always been just as effective on my own DC.

Haha! Glad it's not just mine. Honestly, how they have so much to say astounds me!

OP I would absolutely have been reminding my daughter to keep her voice down so as not to disturb other people and I would not have let her engage with another table who were in the middle of eating! Absolutely not.

Other peoples kids annoy me and I hate when kids try to talk to me. I probably would have asked the mother to intervene. I have a fairly low patience threshold for kids especially loud ones who talk at me and I do not care how old they are. I would have murdered mine for doing it. You had a right to a nice lunch with your friend and not forced to listen to kiddie drivel. You are not being unreasonable.

My son was this child. He had a bad speech delay and didn't talk till he was 3, couldn't strong a full sentence till nearly 4. Couldn't shut up by 5. Like actually would not shut up even if his life depended on it. The amount of "Mummy...Did you know"
"Mummy I saw X/y/X"
"Mummy why are they doing that?!"

But after all my fears and tears over his speech, shushing him felt pretty counterintuitive. It was a weeeeeird time. He has an indoor voice now lol.

Sometimes as a parent you have to say enough now, i need you to be quiet for 10 mins. It is not being cruel; it is teaching them that the whole world does not need to hear them.

My DD11 has no concept of time so would be quiet for 10 seconds and start chatting again. I try to keep the volume down but trying to stop her talking is as effective as trying to turn the tide.

The child was talking. YABU. Move seats.

Oh you can judge away. I did invite people to flame me if they felt I deserved it. No issues with people thinking I’m an entitled twat. I’m equally entitled to think this child’s mum could at the very least have discouraged her from interrupting my conversation with my friend.

But apparently that’s an unfair expectation and instead I should “stay at home” or not go into any venue where children might be present😂

I would stop feeling sorry for yourself and feel sorry for the mother.

From what you’re saying it seems like she’s resigned to it after several years of trying to make it stop!

YABU.

Not being unreasonable at all.
It's a social skill that children should be taught. They should be made to learn to be aware of others, be able to sit at a restaurant and speak not shout. My neighbours grandkids shout and scream in the garden all spring/summer and the grandparents don't do a thing about it. Drives me insane.

It is anti social and the kid will receive backlash from peers for constantly talking AT people. Tell a DC to zip it won’t make their heads fall off. Child could of been ND but you work with it and parent in a way that works for the child not let anti social behaviour became ingrained. Tbh I feel sorry for the kid. No social etiquette guidance. School will be a hard shock 🙁

Well I said I feel very sorry for the mother in a precious post. I don’t feel sorry for myself at all. Thankfully neither of my DC are like this and from reading this thread plenty of children are so I know I’ve got off lightly!

YANBU it's annoying when you can constantly hear kids shouting/talking loudly in an enclosed area when you're wanting a catch up. I get it.
However, I am that mum! My DS does not shut up for 2 seconds. Admittedly he's learning to speak at an acceptable level but if he's excited - I'm on a losing battle. Take a second to think how the poor mum feels - she's probably dreaming of bed time!

YANBU in the slightest. Other people’s kids annoy the fuck out of me.

Loud children come from families where nobody listens to them.

Children need to understand that certain behaviour is ok in certain places. Scream in the playground but behave differently in shared social spaces like cafes.

@NotQuiteHere no- some are just loud.

My 3yo DS is like this and has been since he started speaking in sentances from 9 mths

😂😆

I love this!

Rude kid, rude parent.

There’s a surprise.

You again

Rude kid, rude parent.

There’s a surprise.

How is a young child, especially one that’s ND supposed to know that talking to someone is rude?

She was annoying but she wasn’t rude.

Although I agree with you the child sounds annoying, the mother may have spent hours telling her DC to shut up and talk quietly and just lost the will to live.

I'm VERY noise averse, so loud kids (& adults) and those annoying bastards who carry on phone conversations whilst on speaker phone or play music or videos on their phones without using earphones are the source of a great many fantasies of being able to yell; 'SHUT YOUR F*CKING TRAP FOR FIVE SECONDS' or of kicking the phone out of the offending bastard's hands, Bruce Lee-style then karate-chopping them in the windpipe so they can't retort.

That sounds headache inducing, I would have moved. YADNBU.