I know I am but this child was talking non stop for 45 minutes

[Eastie77Returns]

Went to a cafe with a friend this afternoon. A woman came in with 2 children aged about 5 who sat next to us. One of the children spoke loudly non-stop for the entire duration of our stay. It was loud enough that my friend and I couldn’t hear ourselves speak at times and when I say non-stop, the child did not stop at all.

On a few occasion child’s mother made a gentle shh sound but otherwise just stared into the middle distance. If we hadn’t ordered food we honestly would have left earlier. The talking was not the problem really it was the shouting and screeching “MUMMY DID YOU KNOW..” constantly. Loud child placed her hand over the mouth of the other child when that child tried to speak and shouted over her. At one point the child asked me about my book which was on the table next to me. I answered politely and she then proceeded to bellow at me for about 5 minutes. In the end I had to stop answering her as she would not stop. Mum did not intervene. The people on the other side got up and moved to another table at one point - sadly we were too slow to do the same.

We left as soon as we’d finished eating and got a coffee at another cafe nearby.

Flame away but oh my fucking god. AIBU to be really annoyed that the parent did nothing to stop this annoying child??! And yes, I have DC. One is very chatty and I would not have permitted this kind of loud behaviour.

A lot of people think it’s cute that their kids are chatter boxes and it probably is FOR THEM. You might even find some people who are happy to engage with a shouty chatty child interrupting their lunch. Really though, it’s awfully selfish of a parent to allow this to continue when they can see what is unfolding.

Very unusual for a 5 year old to talk to a total stranger about their book. I would assume additional needs and at the age of 5 the mum is just figuring this all out. She’ll be consumed with worry about what is or isn’t normal and she won’t give 2 shits about you and your mate and your conversation. Go to a library or each other’s houses if you want peace and quiet, a cafe isn’t the place for it.

Go to a library or each other’s houses if you want peace and quiet, a cafe isn’t the place for it.

So anyone sitting in a cafe is fair game to be bothered by kids who's parents let them do as they want? I hope the parent wouldn't get too upset when I ignored their little darling or told him/her to go back to their own table.

I am really getting fed up with posts like this! Children are allowed to be outside their own homes they are allowed to be loud and take up space! They are growing, learning and developing yes it might be annoying at times but you know what grow up and deal with it you are the adult and I'm pretty sure you and yours have annoyed others in the past! Or present with posts like this one 👌🙄

I expect the child was a bit loud, but posts using the word "screaming " are usually talking nonsense.

No one is saying they aren't allowed outside their own homes. Yes children can be loud but there's no excuse for parents letting them go up to people and bother them, or run around restaurants, that's not teaching them anything.

To start another thread having a go at mothers and kids in cafes. It's a real pastime on Mumsnet these days.

What’s inherently wrong about an inquisitive 5 year old asking about the plot line of a book? Would you prefer said child didn’t know what a book was?

My “chatterbox” approached a woman in Safeway who had a very full trolley. He deduced she must have children so asked her how many children she had. (A bit rude maybe). She told him 6. He went quiet. Then said “you must be the luckiest woman in the world”. I hope she had a chuckle rather than starting a thread here.

This thread has helped me understand why my brother talked so much as a child (autistic)

My DD is a chatterbox, not so bad now she's older but I remember my mum taking her for a walk when she was around 6 years old, coming back and whispering to me "does she ever stop talking?" 😂Its not so bad when she's talking English, and she doesn't talk to strangers really unless they talk to her first, but when she's talking Finnish its intense, the poor school doctor asked her how school is going (probably expecting just a simple "fine" or "ok") and she launched into a long monologue that was so fast I couldn't understand it and he looked quite taken aback!

If a child was annoying me by asking constant questions and I had enough of answering I wouldn't ignore them, that rarely works, I'd politely tell them (loud enough for the parent to hear) that I can't talk to them any more now because X (I'm talking to someone else/I'm trying to read my book/my ears are tired/whatever)

They are but that doesn't mean they're entitled to take up other people's space. These threads there's always mention that children may be ND, which is true of course, but so are some adults. My brother is lovely, but would struggle with a child he didn't know asking random questions- perhaps the answer is that everyone, including parents of young children, are mindful of others. Children being loud chatting to the people they are sat with is one thing (annoying but okay), but the expectation that strangers should be fine with them talking to them, annoying them with constant questions doesn't fly with me.

What’s inherently wrong about an inquisitive 5 year old asking about the plot line of a book? Would you prefer said child didn’t know what a book was?

It's not a case of kid bothers stranger or kid doesn't know what a book is FFS!

You think that was normal child noise levels do you? Your clearly one of those parents, too.

I’ve been hassled by an irritating child with an indulgent parent on a train. It drove me bonkers. I’m afraid I said ‘I don’t want to talk to you,’ to the kid. Earned me a look of disbelief and a head shake from the parent. 😆

I got the same sort of look when I told an irritating child to go back to his own table. I suppose it meant Dad had to parent him!

I shall come and scream at you whilst you eat your next meal out.

I’m totally horrified by the number of responses by people who are obviously bringing up their own children to be selfish and entitled. Special needs or not, children need to be helped to fit in with society and not the other way round. The poster is totally reasonable in her expectations. While I feel for the mother of the talkative child, surely she could try and spare others, even if she’s beyond parenting that day.

It’s just a level o f entitlement that some parents have these days in which their precious little darlings twats can do whatever they please, I really do give up for the next generation you know. They’ve never heard the word no 🙄

DS2 doesn’t stop talking. He’s now 13 and it has abated a bit, but if he’s not asleep or watching something on his phone, he’s probably talking, stuff that ALWAYS requires input too, no chance of me just murmuring ‘that’s nice’. On the upside he’s not loud. Just very very chatty.

Kids are annoying but this child was sitting down talking to its mum in a cafe. Yes it asked op about her book and again yes it’s annoying but just shut the conversation down, ‘I’m talking to my friend right now, maybe your mum could tell you about a book she’s reading instead’.

Also didn’t take long for someone to blame additional needs did it, seems the way for anything for those days

Oops, meant to say I never let him dominate conversation or worse, talk to stranger’s relentlessly either. Because other people’s children are often very very annoying to others, and that includes mine.

*strangers, not stranger’s…

Thank you for this post. It's made me laugh for about 15 minutes straight. Sentances from 9 mths 😂

Why do people think the OP need to tell the child they were having a lunch with a friend and to go back talking to their mum? The MUM should be parenting their own child and told the child to stop trying to talk to the stranger. We spend years telling our kids about stranger danger yet talking at a stranger in a cafe is ok somehow?

Gosh. Going out in public and other people annoying you?! How very dare they?!

I would have been more mindful of that poor mum and how, if she was at home alone with that child it might be driving her mad and going out to a public place and be with other people and listen to other conversations would be a relief. Can you imagine living with such a child and how challenging that my be and what that might do to your mental health trying to be calm with a child but running out of ideas? @BakedTattie able to tune out? Perhaps trying to stay sane would be closer to the truth. That’s how I read it.

Expecting this mum to think about the feelings of strangers without you extending the same courtesy to her - I agree with @Keyansier that you sound entitled. It’s entirely within reason to think this child may have ADHD and some e pathway wouldn’t go amiss but probably beyond your capacity reading your OP, @Eastie77Returns. There are so many ways you could’ve played this to make it more pleasant for all involved. - not your responsibility. But not the mums, either. But it would’ve been the kindest thing to do an would’ve taken less effort than logging onto Mumsnet to whinge…