Mums best friend dating my ex!

[lucie333]

Am I being unreasonable to think this is incredibly weird? He is 23 she is 40, me and him went out most of our childhood which she would often see us, she thinks she's not doing anything wrong, and my mum is still friends with her and I just can't understand why! Maybe I'm over thinking it

Well as he is an ex they're not doing anything wrong. Maybe odd but not wrong.

That is so many wrongs I can’t even.

I completely understand but she's like my auntie I've spent Xmas at her house with him when we were younger, I guess I maybe just feel alittle betrayed that's all

It’s odd. They’re both adults and technically they’re not doing anything wrong. It’s a bit weird though isn’t it that she used to see you and your ex a lot and now she’s dating him. I can understand your hurt with your mum too. Whilst I wouldn’t put pressure on my mum to drop her, I’d want my mum to at least understand I found it really weird.

Well if he has a mummy fetish many people would think that was 'weird'. If he's vulnerable and she coerced him then she'd be doing something wrong. If these things don't apply and they're just two people who like each other despite not being the same age, while it's unusual, it's neither weird nor wrong. Are you still keen on him?

Oh no this is weird!

I dont think your unreasonable for thinking its weird. Its a bit icky in the sense that she has known him since he was a child.

I'm in my 40s, i think i wouldn't date a 23 year old. But I definitely wouldn't date someone I knew as a child, even though he is an adult now.

I think you are going to have mixed replies.

However, I think it is weird. I would never entertain having a relationship with a man 17 years younger than myself. Also, she's known him since he was young and with her friend's daughter.

OK, fair enough. That's different.

Let's face it more people would be outraged if this was a 23 year old woman dating a forty year old man who's known her since she was young. And your mom...ffs...I'd be dropping that friend. My kids come first. If they've been hurt I've got their back.

Do you all live in a rural area with a small dating pool?

I find this really icky too, I have sons around your ex's age and the thought of any of my 40 something friends dating them is just grim. Especially more so as the relationship you have with your mums friend is more like an Auntie. I think you are right to feel it's weird.

How long ago did you break up?

I haven't got a problem with age gap relationships in general, but its creepy when the older person knew the younger one when they were under 16.

Technically there’s nothing wrong with it
so many 40 year old men date 20 something women, and it’s perfectly acceptable
I can see how it’s weird to date someone you knew as a young kid, while you were an adult
maybe he had a massive crush on her growing up? I could see a 13 year old guy having a crush on a 30 year old woman
yes it’s weird, and it would also give me the ice.. but there’s technically nothing wrong

I would be upset in your situation OP. If she wasn’t close to you and didn’t know him as a child there wouldn’t be an issue for just an age gap. But add those other factors in and it’s just grim.

I don't think he's the venerable one, she is. I love her very much and I've told her she can no longer be in my life, I broke up with him because he was messaging underage girls when we were together but she doesn't care, she's just got out of a 7 year same sex relationship so I think she is extremely confused, she keeps saying he treats me well and tells me he loves me I think she just wants someone to love her and she doesn't care who! 😒

I know a few couples where the men were a lot younger and it's been fine till the woman reaches a certain age and the men have ended it.

If the woman was Friend and you were my Daughter I don't think I could be Friends with her anymore out of loyalty to you.

And we were on and off from 12-17

They are not doing anything wrong BUT yes I would find it very weird.

I would distance myself from the woman you thought of like your aunt and let them get on with it, be the bigger person and ignore it.
If other family/friends are aware they will also be talking about it even if it’s not too their faces.

At least it's not your mum that's seeing him. I know one relationship like that in my messed up town!!!

@lucie333 The woman is going to get hurt in the long run (well she might not but probably will) but this is not your problem.

It is weird and i would no longer feel she is like an aunt. But I wouldnt expect your mum to stop being friends with her either.

Why are you betrayed? He's an ex, you dont get to police his dating life

She’s dating a pedophile that’s the reall issue here