Page 6 | Mums best friend dating my ex!

lucie333 · 2022-11-30T10:03:23+00:00

Am I being unreasonable to think this is incredibly weird? He is 23 she is 40, me and him went out most of our childhood which she would often see us, she thinks she's not doing anything wrong, and my mum is still friends with her and I just can't understand why! Maybe I'm over thinking it

HotChoxs · 02/12/2022 07:04

Hadjab · 02/12/2022 06:38

Messaging, not messing with - a big difference, the difference between being a dick and a paedophile…

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What does getting a 15 year old girl pregnant when you're 20 count as?

I'm baffled as to why he hasn't been reported for it.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 02/12/2022 07:05

Although technically it’s none of your business I know of women a similar age and most wouldn’t shit on their own doorsteps by dating the ex boyfriend of one of their “nieces”. The ones I know who do do this they’re not thought greatly of.

The underage stuff is concerning too.

HotChoxs · 02/12/2022 07:07

lucie333 · 02/12/2022 07:00

Why didn't I stop him? Are you having a laugh 🤣🤣🤣

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I said shop him, not stop him

Why haven't you reported him?

Bakeacaketoday · 02/12/2022 08:11

HotChoxs · 02/12/2022 07:04

What does getting a 15 year old girl pregnant when you're 20 count as?

I'm baffled as to why he hasn't been reported for it.

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Its the same issue with Mandy Smith and Bill Wyman, she needs to report him (or at least go along with the investigation). If the girl is not willing to do that nothing will be done....And shes not so young that he can't claim he didn't know her age.

Herejustforthisone · 02/12/2022 08:12

lucie333 · 02/12/2022 07:00

Why didn't I stop him? Are you having a laugh 🤣🤣🤣

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The poster said ‘shop him, not ‘stop him’. Shopping someone means reporting them to the police.

Joyfuljolly · 02/12/2022 08:18

Ok I can see this has impacted you deeply. But you split up six years ago it’s a long time op, and as much as him messaging kids I am not sure I’d class him as a paedo and report him, you and your dad are going over board,

I find it very odd that a woman this age is interested in a 23 year old but I do think your extreme anger is also curious. So something is being left unsaid, do you still have feelings for him?

InsomniacVampire · 02/12/2022 08:23

Joyfuljolly · 02/12/2022 08:18

Ok I can see this has impacted you deeply. But you split up six years ago it’s a long time op, and as much as him messaging kids I am not sure I’d class him as a paedo and report him, you and your dad are going over board,

I find it very odd that a woman this age is interested in a 23 year old but I do think your extreme anger is also curious. So something is being left unsaid, do you still have feelings for him?

I wonder what made you think OP has extreme anger over this?
She said a number of times she feels a bit hurt that someone close to her would chose an unreliable and sleazy man who hurt her in the past (also one who she saw growing up!)- I cant see anger in here, maybe you're projecting here?

HotChoxs · 02/12/2022 08:25

Bakeacaketoday · 02/12/2022 08:11

Its the same issue with Mandy Smith and Bill Wyman, she needs to report him (or at least go along with the investigation). If the girl is not willing to do that nothing will be done....And shes not so young that he can't claim he didn't know her age.

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This is the 2020s not the 1980s, there's a specific prison sentence for it, even if there was mutual consent. It's not as if there's no concrete evidence that it happened.

Endlesssummer2022 · 02/12/2022 08:31

Sounds like Jeremy Kyle, a Channel 5 ‘documentary’ about Jaywick or some janky remake of Rita, Sue and Bob too. Grim.

5128gap · 02/12/2022 09:18

InsomniacVampire · 02/12/2022 08:23

I wonder what made you think OP has extreme anger over this?
She said a number of times she feels a bit hurt that someone close to her would chose an unreliable and sleazy man who hurt her in the past (also one who she saw growing up!)- I cant see anger in here, maybe you're projecting here?

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Of course she's angry. She's sitting there typing out silly emojis, caps and exclamation marks, being aggressive and sneering to anyone who doesn't give her 'FEELINGS!' full validation. Telling people to 'stay in their lane' after asking for opinions. Its rather extreme for someone who is just 'a bit upset', and obviously, that may be just who she is. But to give her the benefit of the doubt, I'd say yes, she's angry.
Not without cause, as presumably the woman knew how badly he treated OP, and I think its reasonable to expect someone close not to welcome him into their life after he'd hurt her. Unfortunately, people do these things. They prioritise their own happiness over other people, particularly when 'vulnerable' and 'confused'. The OP has already removed the woman from her life, and there's not a great deal else that can be done so for her own sake she needs to put this out of her mind and focus on her own life.
It's unfortunate for her that the person she was invested in romantically through her teens was about the worst type of boy/man she could have found, and that the people close to her are exercising poor judgement, and in doing so keeping this man on her radar, when he should be no more to her than a bad memory.
Hopefully she can move on from this type of toxic environment and fill her life with more stable decent people.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 02/12/2022 09:23

Endlesssummer2022 · 02/12/2022 08:31

Sounds like Jeremy Kyle, a Channel 5 ‘documentary’ about Jaywick or some janky remake of Rita, Sue and Bob too. Grim.

I just sniggered seeing Jaywick there! My childhood ex best friend moved there in her early 20s and had an affair with a local married man (they’re now married!).

Jaywick when I visited is a bit strange and incestuous…

DesertIslandCondiment · 02/12/2022 09:24

THEDEACON · 02/12/2022 00:46

It's absolutely none of your business and they are consenting adults not doing anything wrong Grow up and move on

😂

I suppose some people have different morals than other people.

Yes OP needs to move on but with her head held high leaving behind the Jeremy Kyle contestants.

Liorae · 02/12/2022 09:35

HotChoxs · 02/12/2022 05:06

If it's your business why didn't you shop him for getting an underage girl pregnant?

Because she has no proof that he did. Just jealousy and anger that she was dumped. It would be interesting to see the results of her daddy's report.

DesertIslandCondiment · 02/12/2022 09:38

Liorae · 02/12/2022 09:35

Because she has no proof that he did. Just jealousy and anger that she was dumped. It would be interesting to see the results of her daddy's report.

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What are you talking about?

InsomniacVampire · 02/12/2022 09:42

5128gap · 02/12/2022 09:18

Of course she's angry. She's sitting there typing out silly emojis, caps and exclamation marks, being aggressive and sneering to anyone who doesn't give her 'FEELINGS!' full validation. Telling people to 'stay in their lane' after asking for opinions. Its rather extreme for someone who is just 'a bit upset', and obviously, that may be just who she is. But to give her the benefit of the doubt, I'd say yes, she's angry.
Not without cause, as presumably the woman knew how badly he treated OP, and I think its reasonable to expect someone close not to welcome him into their life after he'd hurt her. Unfortunately, people do these things. They prioritise their own happiness over other people, particularly when 'vulnerable' and 'confused'. The OP has already removed the woman from her life, and there's not a great deal else that can be done so for her own sake she needs to put this out of her mind and focus on her own life.
It's unfortunate for her that the person she was invested in romantically through her teens was about the worst type of boy/man she could have found, and that the people close to her are exercising poor judgement, and in doing so keeping this man on her radar, when he should be no more to her than a bad memory.
Hopefully she can move on from this type of toxic environment and fill her life with more stable decent people.

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We're on an internet forum where people write about their feelings more often than not. Someone comes in and writes they are upset about a close person dating an ex. Shock horror. Many people would be angry- I would not say OP does not seem extremely angry. Putting an exclamation mark for me is not a sign of this, neither is a laughing emoji. Some of the responses here totally missed the mark. It's not unreasonable for the auntie to have a relationship, it's not unreasonable for OP to feel hurt by who it is whom. People screaming "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS" look more angry to me personally. Im leaving aside the fact he shoud be on a sexual offender list and she has a teenage daughter. Even if that was not the case, having a close person dating an ex in any circumstances can be hurtful. I have parted on good terms with all my exes but if best friend wanted to go out with one of them Id probably not be keeping in touch with them- that's just how I feel, I feel Im entitled to it, just as they would be entitled to be in a relationship.
We can just agree it everyone should be able to feel the way they do. OP did not say she is off to burn down their house as an act of revenge, just that she is uncomfortable with this relationship (and quite rightfully too, based on the updates).

DesertIslandCondiment · 02/12/2022 09:45

@Liorae Are you a middle aged single woman by any chance who quite likes the thought of a toyboy?

Original poster

lucie333 · 02/12/2022 10:01

Thank you for everyone replies❤️ I'm not trying to control anyone, my feelings are just hurt and I have no one to talk to, do I have a right to feel this way ? Maybe not but I do, and I can't help it. I will put it behind me and simply move on.

OP posts:

monsteramunch · 02/12/2022 10:01

@Joyfuljolly

I find it very odd that a woman this age is interested in a 23 year old but I do think your extreme anger is also curious.

Eh? I don't see 'extreme anger' from OP.

I see disappointment in the behaviour of someone she respected and loves (especially as that person has a daughter) and a sense of feeling baffled that someone she respected and loves is capable of shagging someone they've watched grow up, especially as they have previously dated, shagged and had a relationship with someone the equivalent of their niece.

She's appropriately angry because of the lack of care this woman is showing for her daughter.

She hasn't displayed 'extreme' or disproportionate anger at all IMO.

DirectionToPerfection · 02/12/2022 13:26

Your feelings are totally valid OP.

Ignore the contrarians, they'd be singing from a different hymn sheet if it happened to them.

Meggymoo777 · 02/12/2022 19:19

@InsomniacVampire couldn't have articulated my take on this better tbf and @lucie333 anyone in their right minds would see how this is so totally wrong and an awful situation for you. Your feelings on this are 100% valid and anyone of emotional maturity would understand that.

@5128gap glad you seem to have toned down and understand OPs position a bit more fully and empathetically but I definitely disagree with you that OP is OTT or angry to an unjustifiable level. OP has dealt with this with dignity from what I can tell and has come here to vent, seek advice, fucking rage if she wants too... that's totally fine by me anyway.