Should i ask my partner to cover all the bills instead of us sharing?

[twinklestarin]

My partner works full time and earns around 200-250 per day. I am currently a stay at home mum to our DS who is almost 3 and DD who is 5 months old. I do intend to start work once my youngest is old enough to go nursery. For now i've been doing a private tutoring job from home which i only earn £550 per month. I could earn more but its hard to do more due to juggling the home and children. My partner expects me to contribute a share to all the bills, food shopping and anything related to the kids. By the time i have done all of this i have a very small amount of money left to myself or non at all. Sometimes I would like to buy myself books, or go out with a friend or get my hair done but just dont have much money left. Considering that my partner earns considerably more than i do, would it be fair if i asked him to cover all the bills , and with the money i earn i can use that to cover all expenses related to the kids and myself.

I would start trying to collate proof of what he consistently earns.
ok if he’s self employed he could say he didn’t earn that much but it’ll look mightily dodgy when for the last ten years he’s earning roughly the same amount of he then claims he’s earning far less when you put in your maintenance claim.
Which is what you should be doing. As he’s abusive and mean and won’t change.

It's the old "boiling frog" analogy. Unfortunately, at first they seem lovely, caring, but gradually they turn up the heat, and by the time you realise you are being boiled alive, it's too late. It is abuse. Some of the victim blaming is disgusting! Saying a victim of coercive control should "take responsibility for your mistakes" is on a par with saying a rape victim should take responsibility for wearing a short skirt or walking home alone at night! Until you have lived this kind of abuse, you have no fcking idea how they mess with your head 😢 Honestly, the amount of people justifying and enabling this type of abusive behaviour is disturbing. Please, for the love of all things holy, teach your sons that financial abuse isn't OK, and teach your daughters that "equality" does not mean that they need to do 100% of parenting small children AND contribute financially! There are far too many mothers who enable their sons' shtty behaviour, so if any women ought to be "taking responsibility" when men behave like this, it is their mothers, who should have taught them better!

Yes

Or indeed, the fathers and mothers who should have taught their daughters to choose more carefully.

I love how, in ranting about blaming women, you still blame women.

No, it was about victim blaming. A mother who raises her precious boy to believe he is the sun & everyone else merely revolves around him, & responds to reports of his bad behaviour with "my little prince would never do such a thing!" aren't victims. And it is normally the mothers who instill this sense of entitlement in them, not fathers.

In other words, blaming women. Mothers are responsible for how their sons turn out, fathers aren't.