Lift for 5 years - AIBU?

[Pinot4me]

I go to a hobby / interest 4 times a year. It’s a 60 mile round trip but it’s worth it. I really enjoy it and have met some lovely people.
We always go for a meal afterwards. I can never drink because I am always driving. 5 years ago somebody from the same village as me joined the group. She isn’t really a friend, more a neighbour that I am friendly with. She drove herself there for the first couple of times and then asked me if I would give her a lift. I naturally assumed that we would lift share but it just never happened.
She has never offered to drive me or contributed towards my fuel costs. So, basically we all go out and she has several drinks with her meal and I can only have one small one and we leave.

I have taken some annual leave next week and I asked her if she would drive as I really fancied having a few drinks for a change. She very reluctantly agreed but it was awkward and I could see she wasn’t keen.
She has messaged me today saying that she can’t imagine going out and not being able to have a few drinks (grim ) and that she had booked a taxi at a cost of £80 return. She then said so, half n half £40 each..

AIBU to be annoyed? I can’t afford £40 and I think she is cheeky to ask given that she has had free lifts for 5 years!

I’ve composed the following response but haven’t sent it yet… I suppose I am sense checking in case I am the one who is being unreasonable.

“ I can confirm that is indeed pretty grim to drive whilst everyone else drinks. It is what I do every time we go. I’m not up for sharing a taxi - I can’t afford it. Don’t worry about it, I will see you there”.

I honestly don’t feel inclined to give her a lift in future but don’t want the hassle of feeling awkward or causing upset.

Thoughts please.

Love the reply, can't wait to see what she responds with. Totally invested in this post now and checking for updates

I'd just rerply No thanks and leave it at that, cheeky mare.

Cheeky mare! Great reply! 👌

Well done op she's got away with that crap long enough

Cracking message. I don’t know you but I am so proud of you.

She is seriously entitled to not have clocked that she's NEVER driven the two of you herself, but has merrily sat in your car and contributed nothing for 5 YEARS of lifts.

Utter cow.

Can't imagine how hard she'll try to twist her response to get back into your car for future rides... whilst not paying for a taxi for the 2 of you.

I'd probably change the last bit to: "perhaps you could cover the entire cost of the taxi in lieu of all the petrol I've saved you"
OP, YANBU.

The OP has been giving her a lift for five years!

So proud of you OP!!!!

And if she responds with 'oh if you're driving I'll cancel the cab and come with you instead!' Well, you know what to tell her.

Can’t believe the cheek!!

Good for you!
I’d have been tempted to agree to the taxi then, at the last minute, say you’d changed your mind and leave her to get the taxi herself 😂
And of course, not give her a lift back.

She has responded and asked me how I’m going to get there if we don’t share a taxi!

I haven’t responded yet. Im too bloody angry!

She has missed the point completely! It hasn’t even occurred to her that she is behaving is utterly self centred.

We don’t mix socially other than at these events. She drives all the time - I often see her out and about. Even if she doesn’t like driving in the dark etc there was nothing to stop her contributing to my costs… unbelievably, she has said that enjoys being able to have a few drinks when we go and she doesn’t have to worry about driving, to my face, in the car!

I think I am going to draw a line under all this. Tbh, I can’t believe I’ve been such an idiot for 5 years! I feel stupid!

Can you a cheap room in a Travelodge for the evening so you can have a few drinks, if not you can tell CF that you are thinking of staying over so that will get you out of taking her if she decides to keep lift sharing.

Great message OP 👍 👏 👌

Don't take any shit from the entitled freeloader.

Me too.

I feel like saying BY THE POWER OF MUMSNET in a He-Man voice.

Glad you sent it. She sounds like a complete CF. Especially the bit where she tries to charge you but has never given you fuel money

If she asks for a lift charge her £80.

Oh my god the flippin brass neck of the woman!

I think the lifts on you response was better than petrol costs for two reasons. One, you are not asking her to pay for a taxi just for one lift out of twenty and two, it doesn’t give her the opportunity to say well it didn’t cost you more to take me.

Cheeky mare.

Cheek for another arse

You reply: If you want to go you will get there by driving yourself, because I will not be giving you lifts anymore.

Shocking behaviour.

I'd insist on the cash in my hand before I'd even consider it. No chance I'd rely on a bank xfer afterwards.

Tell her you're doing what you always do, driving yourself and this time, only yourself. This will remain the case from this point onwards.

Thank you for all the lovely messages!
You lot are giving me the strength to tell her to bugger off!
Ive just read my own post a few times - if someone else had written it I’d be giving them the same advice as you’re giving me! I’ve been an idiot haven’t I…
But, no more!