Parents I’ve never met have gone out and left their child here?

[RosesAndUnicorns]

Well not even ‘here’ but on the street really

DD11 went out with her friends earlier and came back with one of them who lives two streets over to play in her room
Fine, happens all the time
A few minutes ago I said to this child that one of us would walk her some soon as we had to do homework, showers etc ready for tomorrow, to which she said ‘oh my mum & dad won’t be home till 9:45 I can’t get in till then’
So she has to stay here until DDs usual bedtime because her parents aren’t in!

AIBU to be totally shocked! If this girl hadn’t come into my house to play I’d have called DD in and she would’ve been out on the street alone until 9:45!

I haven’t said to her that she has to leave or anything because honestly, something similar happened to me once as a child and the parents of my friend made it very clear they were furious and I felt so awkward and unwanted, so I’ve made them a hot chocolate and put Netflix on for them
But I am a little bit furious! This is not my child to be responsible for like this!

Wow that's some shocking naivety. Since when did the area depict parenting level? "Broadly good?!" There are abusive, neglectful parents EVERYWHERE

I know. It seems very different to what I read about on MN, but where I live, there would be no concept of reporting a matter like this to school. You would start with the parents, assuming at worst, a poor parenting choice.

I realise there are abusive neglectful patents everywhere. My point was it that my experience is of parents at times making poor choices (which this may be here) but that it starts with dialogue with the parents & doesn't start with calling the school or NSPCC

@mathanxiety

That sounds dreadful. I've never experienced anything like that but it does happen of course.

My comment was about the nature of 'reporting' that's talked about here; it just wouldn't be the norm in any area in Ireland I've lived in

I'd always approach the parent first. Of course I'd go further if I'd any serious concerns - I've never been in that situation.

hope you spk to the parents OP

I thought the same…. and the fact the posters not been back on. If you’re worried enough to post this on a forum you’d be back to say how things went after the child had gone home!

I would be reporting to the school and social services. Poor kid.

Her parents just relied on your good will to keep her safe. And they will again.

It looks obvious to me op hasn't been back because it was a misunderstanding. The girl probably wanted to stay so said her parents were out...but op didn't phone the parents so would be none the wiser.
It would be a bit far fetched that her parents were both out at that time of night on a weekday night with a child to get to school in the morning...unless in an emergency which I'm sure the parents would have spoke to op herself if that was the case.

Phoning the school and reporting to social services was a massive leap without actually speaking to them.
It seems op was more bothered about her child's popularity and didn't want to seem the uncool mum, coupled with op not wanting confrontation. All could have been resolved by calling the parents.
She's totally been played by this child.

So ‘phone the parents has become the new cancel the cheque on MN 😂

I had this, I called the parents and told them to come pick him up. He was back again first thing next morning... and most days during the next 18 months. You want to be the person that makes the difference between their life being utterly awful and bearable but it can be a fine line to tread if it becomes tricky for your own family.

Did anyone speak to the parents when they walked her home op?

I think reporting to social service, the police or the school is an over-reaction at this point.

They told her they were going out and asked if she was ok. Presumably, that was the point at which she could have gone with them or gone home. Instead, she said she was at a friend's house and fine.

Might op's dd have said she could stay as long as she needed to, or that 9:45 would be ok because her bedtime was 10?

OP is obviously quite right to be irritated that she was unexpectedly stuck with this child until far later than she wanted to be, but it doesn't sound like it meets the threshold for neglect to me.

I'm just surprised she didn't have her own key, being at secondary school.

I'm thinking the latter ...

Wow I went to bed last night and as I said I have 4 DC so have been just a little bit busy this morning, just because I didn’t update immediately doesn’t mean it didn’t happen!

This is an awful attitude. What right do you have to demand someone responds on your timescale? And if not, they're a liar? Who are you? What a horrible way to behave.

Mumsnet is really for a bit of entertainment and light relief as well as advice. You come and go as it suits. There shouldn't be any pressure to return after a busy day with 4 kids and you just want to get to bed.

But you demand your entertaining, forgetting it is a real person with a real life behind the screen. They'll update when they want but people like you make posters stop coming back because they're being bullied.
I bet you dont have the guts to bully in real life though.

@RosesAndUnicorns

Ignore the comment, update when you have time!

@RosesAndUnicorns -you sound like a lovely mum and a very thoughtful person .I hope ,in your position ,I'd handle things the same way .

No, it really is not a strange thing for them to lie about.

@WeepingSomnambulist wow that is indeed quite a reach so early on a morning, calm down hun it’s really not that deep 😂😂

Fully understand your reasonings for not wanting to call the parents, op. Sounds like this is an ongoing thing and one phone call won't suddenly make them realise the error of their ways. Talking to the school is a good shout. I can't believe some parents are happy to do things like this to their children...

Yep. OP is too embarrassed to admit that she made. hoo ha over nothing and admit that I and others were right.

You have had time to read the comments and type out this reply though. 😂

Wow some of these comments are just bizarrely unpleasant. I'm not sure why some posters are so invested in this thread and absolutely determined to have a go at the OP. Of course not everyone has time to spend reading thousands of (unhelpful and sometimes nasty) comments on MN and responding to them all.
Even if it was a misunderstanding who cares? OP didn't call the police or make a huge deal of it. She just made a thread on MN. That's a pretty low stakes reaction.

So much emphasis on the 9.45 deadline for the return of the child to parents, yet no update at the time.

Kids do this all the time when they're at each other's homes: they tell the resident parent that they don't have to be back until later. Then they tell their parents that they've been asked to stay later.