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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents I’ve never met have gone out and left their child here?

341 replies

RosesAndUnicorns · 28/11/2022 19:55

Well not even ‘here’ but on the street really

DD11 went out with her friends earlier and came back with one of them who lives two streets over to play in her room
Fine, happens all the time
A few minutes ago I said to this child that one of us would walk her some soon as we had to do homework, showers etc ready for tomorrow, to which she said ‘oh my mum & dad won’t be home till 9:45 I can’t get in till then’
So she has to stay here until DDs usual bedtime because her parents aren’t in!

AIBU to be totally shocked! If this girl hadn’t come into my house to play I’d have called DD in and she would’ve been out on the street alone until 9:45!

I haven’t said to her that she has to leave or anything because honestly, something similar happened to me once as a child and the parents of my friend made it very clear they were furious and I felt so awkward and unwanted, so I’ve made them a hot chocolate and put Netflix on for them
But I am a little bit furious! This is not my child to be responsible for like this!

OP posts:
cookiesbeforepookies · 28/11/2022 19:56

YANBU, that’s awful. Could she be fibbing to stay longer?

BrieAndChilli · 28/11/2022 19:57

I would go round to the house skit to check if someone is in. The the girl may be lowing to spend more time at yours. At least then you would know.
i would be having a word with the parents when they got back too.

44PumpLane · 28/11/2022 19:57

At 11 this is terrible.....contact 111 and report this. They have effectively abandoned their child without even any way of getting back in to their own home.

IglesiasPiggl · 28/11/2022 19:57

Do you think she had a key but has lost it? It would be so odd for the parents to lock her out. Does she have a phone?

Gilmorehill · 28/11/2022 19:58

The thing is, it sounds like they’re not expecting any adult to take responsibility for her. They were happy for her to stay out on the street. It’s good that you have shown her kindness and made her feel welcome. You have no idea what her home life is like as they are clearly negligent parents.

Gilmorehill · 28/11/2022 19:59

44PumpLane · 28/11/2022 19:57

At 11 this is terrible.....contact 111 and report this. They have effectively abandoned their child without even any way of getting back in to their own home.

I agree with you. Definitely report to social services too.

RememberedForAllTheWrongReasons · 28/11/2022 19:59

Does she have a phone? Could you get your number off it to contact them?
poor girl, was she just supposed to roam the streets until 9:45pm? Wonder where they’ve gone that’s so important.

Openthegate · 28/11/2022 19:59

I think you are doing the right thing at the moment, but I also think it would be reasonable to tell the parents you were placed in a very awkward position and in future won’t be so magnanimous.

Falconfield · 28/11/2022 19:59

Honestly, I would call the police but out of earshot of the child so she doesn't worry/get scared.

notanothertakeaway · 28/11/2022 20:00

I would report to school. They can investigate / refer to social work if required

Don't raise it with the parents. Criticising someone's parenting will never end well

Katapolts · 28/11/2022 20:00

Walk her round to her house and check it's locked and parents are gone.

If that's the case, call 101 and report she's been left outside alone.

Looking after her until the parents return is just covering up the neglect. This child needs help and the police is the right way to get it. She's at immediate risk of harm.

TidyDancer · 28/11/2022 20:00

Do you know where the parents are and if they are aware the child is with you?

This definitely needs reporting imo.

Original poster
RosesAndUnicorns · 28/11/2022 20:00

She seemed to know they weren’t home and when I said we would walk her soon she text them and they said they wouldn’t be back until 9:45, I didn’t ask where they were tbh, I was so surprised!

OP posts:
LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 28/11/2022 20:00

WTAF!! Can you go and knock OP or put a note through their door?

Id also be inclined to call police and say her parents aren’t home and she can’t get in

PinkSyCo · 28/11/2022 20:01

Are you sure that she’s not just saying this because she wants to stay longer? Could be that her parents are worried about where she is. Does she have a phone?

pecanpie24 · 28/11/2022 20:01

Quite a strange thing for a child to lie about, perhaps doesn't want to go home for specific reasons - OP do you know the child's parents?

converseandjeans · 28/11/2022 20:02

I would see if the girl has their number and try to call them. That's really late on a school night and also you presumably don't know her. I wouldn't be leaving my children with people I didn't know at any time, let alone on a school night..... Is she still in primary school?

RoyKeanesBeard · 28/11/2022 20:02

Does she have a phone/know their phone number?

I'd phone them.

RoyKeaneisRight · 28/11/2022 20:02

I'd suggest saying to her, let's go check if anyone is there, in case they came home early. Can you try suss out if this is a usual thing to happen? Definitely report to school at least.

Dutchesss · 28/11/2022 20:02

Were they expecting her home earlier? Then went out after they thought she was safe somewhere else?
Is she primary or Y7?

Bigslippers · 28/11/2022 20:04

I’d be furious OP.
I would go around and knock and then put a note through the door with your address and telephone number. Make sure that you stress how cold and dark it is and you wanted to make sure she was safe as she clearly hasn’t got any responsible adult to make sure shes safe

11 years is very young for a child at this time of night, its pitch black and freezing.

Id also be inclined to ask the child how often this happens it seems very strange

Falconfield · 28/11/2022 20:04

On reflection I think you need to protect yourself somewhat in this scenario.

I would report ASAP and call parents to make sure they really are doing what the girl says.

romdowa · 28/11/2022 20:05

This used to happen a little boy who lived near us. He wouldn't tell people his parents were away though , he'd make every excuse to stay at people's houses. He was about 7/8. Fortunately one of my neighbours is a police officer and he discovered the boy one night wondering the street and when he went to take him home the house was in darkness and locked. Turns out they used to do this regularly and lock him in the house by him self. Ss were called but a few weeks later the family vanished. He was removed from the local school as well.

SerenaTee · 28/11/2022 20:08

I’m shocked how much you’re under-reacting to this! I’d definitely check there’s definitely no-one home then I’d call 111 for advice. Yes it sounds like she’s fine this time but what about next time? She’s vulnerable and needs to be protected.

Original poster
RosesAndUnicorns · 28/11/2022 20:12

They’re in year 7, no I haven’t met the parents and before today I’ve only ever met the girl when she’s been knocking on for DD

I can’t go round or anything like that, I have 3 other DC here and am in the middle of bedtime, I was going to send my 14 year old and his friend to walk her home earlier as it’s dark, DH will be home by 9:45 though and can walk her home then and scope out the parents a little bit

I will definitely be ringing school tomorrow to raise up a concern

OP posts: