Did you enjoy having a newborn?

[Apregnantworrier]

I am pregnant with a very much loved and wanted baby.

But everyone around me seems desperate to tell me how awful it’s going to be - I won’t have time to eat, sleep or wash. I will hate my body and never be slim again or even have time to care how I look and my relationship will be the worst it’s ever been.

I know it’s luck of the draw as to how easy you’re baby is but I’m so excited for the next stage and to meet my baby and for them to get here safely and be healthy but I’m also looking forward to feeling a bit better than I do in pregnancy and more myself eventually.

Surely (given a lot of people have more than one child) the good outweighs the bad?

It's both the best thing and the worst thing, honestly, OP!

DS was a very easy and content newborn. Other than the tedium of getting up several times a night, he was a joy to have. I look back at his newborn stage fondly and try to forget the terrible twos and threenager stage...

I loved every minute if it. Honestly. I wish I could go back and relive those days again. They grow up.so quickly as it is so try to make the most of it. Congratulations x

Honestly -no, not at all. I hated it.

But I have always loved DD, and I adore parenting now she’s 3. Enough so that I’m pregnant again.

Im really not looking forward to having another baby, but I am looking forward to having another child. And I hope this time that the knowledge that the baby stage is short will make it less traumatic (and yes, I really mean traumatic).

I did not enjoy having a new born either time. However Dc1 was a very sick baby with a major (ish) congenital heart defect which necessitated an operation at 8 weeks old, and meant that she pretty much never slept at night in those early weeks.

Dc2 you don’t have the same “honeymoon”
period as you’ve already got an older one. But he then had tongue tie, which led to a lot of sleepless nights, unhappy baby etc.

So not an excellent start.

Plus my exh was rubbish!

everyone loves to tell you its going to be awful / just you wait until ... !

Sometimes yeah you don't get to shower as often as you might be used to, but you will work everything out and get used to your new routine. it'll be hard but you'll also have lovely snuggly newborn cuddles, cute little newborn noises, and them sleeping so peacefully on your chest. you are their whole world!

If I had any advice it would be to make postpartum plan. lots of women make birth plans, but less so for post partum, and it can be so useful to do.

I loved having newborn! I slept plenty (cosleeping from the start with no.2 was helpful for me), I showered daily, and my relationship coped fine both times.

I honestly hate it when people do this. I am childfree and I’m told endlessly that I’ll regret it because having a child is joyful, amazing, the meaning of life, you won’t know live without a baby, you aren’t a proper woman until you have a baby and worse. Meanwhile women who are trying for a baby or pregnant are told it’s awful, it ruins your life, you’ll never sleep again, your husband will cheat on you and you won’t have time for a 5 minute shower until the child starts school. And we are usually told those things by the same people! And I’m not joking three women where I used to work said those things to me but while I was near the kitchen area one day I heard them speaking to me 7 months pregnant colleague telling her how she’d basically ruined her life! How is that helpful?!

Absolutely loved it! Would relive it again if I could ❤️

I did not enjoy the baby time but loved the 2-12 years stage. I was never bothered about my physical shape but really struggled mentally with the lack of sleep, hormonal chaos and generally the loss of my personal autonomy. I wish I’d had more idea about tough it would be and that it does get better and comes to an end.

Your experience will vary. You may love it, or you may hate it. More than likely you will love some bits and hate others.

I do agree with your statement that for me, the good definitely does outweigh the bad though and I have two DC aged 1 and 3. Your a parent of a child forever, the newborn stage doesn't last very long though.

If I was to answer your initial question - Overall I did not enjoy having a newborn. I have an anxious disposition and physically struggle if I don't sleep enough, so at times it was basically hell for me. I do however love the 9 - 18 month bit - my youngest is in this stage right now and is an absolute joy.

If I didn't hate pregnancy, birth, recovering from birth and the first 9 months then I'd have a 3rd child in a heartbeat!

First one - no

Second - yes

Second time round I was more relaxed and the baby was easier. No idea if the 2 were related, but both things contributed to an overall better experience second time round.

All of this! 👏 it's so true.

I was blessed with easy babies so I very much enjoyed the newborn stage. Don't worry about showers etc, you will learn to shower with the door open, or having a very quick 10 mins when someone is there with the baby!

The toddler stage is FAAAARRRR harder....

I love the newborn stage!
I would swap that for a 5yr old anyday.

The good definitely outweighs the not so good. Set Low expectations on yourself and just enjoy the time, it does go very quick 🥰

I absolutely loved having a newborn. It was ammmazing! But all the things you've been told are probably true! You can be knackered, body falling apart and get no sleep, but still love every second of having a newborn.

People probably just want to prepare you for the reality, as it is all a bit of a shock to the system! It's lovely though! 👍👍

Oh and I had a second because I convinced myself I got it all wrong the first time and could do better the next time!

I'm sat on the couch with my 13 week old (who I'll pretend is still a newborn) snuggled on my chest snoring away. No, I haven't got anything done and yes my hair could do with a wash, my jeans still don't fit and my jumper definitely has sick on. But it's heaven.

I love love love having a newborn. And I was back in my pre-pregnancy jeans by the end of the week both times. I have no idea why some people feel the need to be so negative and can’t just let you enjoy your happy time

I won't lie, I hated it. I adored my baby and couldn't begin to wish her out of existence, but I had hated being pg and hated being a mother. It took a while.

I loved it.

First yes, he was a very easy and happy baby.

Second no, she slept fine but cried the minute her eyes opened until they closed again. It was hell with silent reflux, milk allergy, severe eczema, constipation, it goes on and on.

I had very different experiences with both my children as newborns. Toddler stage is fun though.

My advice to you:

1. STAY CALM. Babies can pick up on when you are stressed and that makes them harder to handle.
2. When you are in a difficult situation, put your brain into shut down mode. Ie. Get the task done, but with minimal communication, and thought process. Don't listen to anyone else's advice. You know your baby and your routine/processes best.
3. Be kind to your partner. You will fight a lot or have parental disagreements. Just let them blow over as much as you can and talk when things are calmer.
4. Make sure one of you is always getting a good nights sleep. It doesn't help if you are both tired out.
5. Sleep train as soon as you notice any favourable cues or are ready for it.
6. Work on routines a little at a time. Break your day into chunks and start with the bed time routine, and work backwards is my usual approach.

Good luck !

A lot of people love competitive martrydom. Yes, looking after newborns is hard, and it changes your life, but that's nothing compared to the emotional difficulty of looking after older children whose problems you can't fix. The absolutely wonderful thing about newborns (certainly with your first) that you only realise when it's gone is that it's almost entirely in your control. You don't have any of that school shit, you can go out or stay in, sleep when you like. I just wish I hadn't been so profoundly sad all the time, I couldn't cope with the idea I was responsible for this person for the rest of my life.

I loved it, I'd have babies forever. Another 3 year old would finish me off though :)
People love to tell you how awful things are. When I had my wisdom teeth out they virtually queued down the road to tell me horrific stories of extractions. Ignore them all.