Did you enjoy having a newborn?

[Apregnantworrier]

I am pregnant with a very much loved and wanted baby.

But everyone around me seems desperate to tell me how awful it’s going to be - I won’t have time to eat, sleep or wash. I will hate my body and never be slim again or even have time to care how I look and my relationship will be the worst it’s ever been.

I know it’s luck of the draw as to how easy you’re baby is but I’m so excited for the next stage and to meet my baby and for them to get here safely and be healthy but I’m also looking forward to feeling a bit better than I do in pregnancy and more myself eventually.

Surely (given a lot of people have more than one child) the good outweighs the bad?

Every baby is different.....I got lucky and had an easy baby who slept well mostly. I loved the new born stage....ok I was tried but I loved it. Aged 3-4 was hell as dd had tantrums and was happy to lay on the floor wherever....luckily aged 5 and at school she outgrow that and Now aged 6 she amazing. Each stage and age has positives and negatives....enjoy your baby xxx

Honestly, there is no way to really prepare for it. You can read all the books and buy all the stuff and read as many articles and stories of other mums but until baby is here, you dont understand. Its lifechanging in the best and worst way. For me, I never expected to be quite so anxious at all the unknowns. But oh, how I miss those all nighters snuggled with a baby watching Netflix and demolising biscuits. We truly made our own little bubble and it was lovely.

Mixed bag.

Loved having a newborn - but if I could do it over again:

1. escape from hospital sooner (I was in 8 days and was so much happier once I got home)
2. eat iron tablets religiously in final weeks
3. feed DD formula while I got supply up rather than trying to EBF when I had no milk (got back to EBF at 6 weeks... formula was a lifesaver for her and for my sanity)
4. co-sleep from the start rather trying to get her to go in a crib
5. some babies never sleep - stop trying to force naps, just stick them in a sling and go and enjoy some art galleries and museums before they get mobile

FWIW, I put on over half my body-weight again while pregnant... I looked like a whale by the time I went into hospital and DH still has memories of trying to get me up off the floor the time I sat on it to paint something. Involved have to crawl to a doorway to wedge myself in to get upright. I'm tall and was a size 12 pre-pregnancy.... by the time DD was 3 months old I was a size 8! I had to buy smaller jeans.

First time yes, second time less so. Not because my second was any more of a difficult baby than my first (both were pretty easy), but because I was not in great shape physically or mentally after my second (dangerously high bp which kicked off post-natal/health anxiety which took a loooong time to get over. Baby was still fab though!

Aside from those issues (which didn't stop me bonding with ds), and after the immediate recovery from the birth, I didn't find looking after my newborns very hard tbh. They did both pretty much sleep through from about 12 weeks though, which obviously helped!

Very much this (*except not pregnant). 2.5 was a turning point for me.

It's one of life's peculiar things! One day is truly amazing and the next can be hell on Earth. There are so many variables. Some babies sleep great, some are terrible eaters, some are bitters, some won't settle until they're held constantly.

But the great days are wonderful! And this is how it will be for you!

Yes, it's a lot of hard work, but so are most of the best things in life.

Nothing can compare to the bliss of cuddling your own newborn baby. My advice: don't try to do too much, don't feel guilty about sitting on the sofa all day breastfeeding, snoozing and watching telly with the baby napping on you, while the house around you is a bombsite. Carry your baby around in a sling or your arms as much as you can and want to.

Do you know what, I even enjoyed changing nappies. Until they start eating solids, newborn poo isn't too bad at all, and it can be a nice moment to interact with the baby.

Being generous, people are probably telling you all those horror stories so that you won't be caught unawares. It's far better to have low expectations that are exceeded, than high expectations and have reality hit you like a truck. I was totally expecting to be utterly miserable for a whole 12 months after my baby was born, after listening to all the dire warnings, so when it wasn't as bad as people made out, I was very pleasantly surprised.

Awww OP I remember having the exact same panic when I was pregnant because people said the same sort of stuff to me!

It was the best and worst thing I've ever done, if I'm totally honest. I love love loved the newborn stage and the cuddles, I honestly felt like I was literally high on endorphins (and I had a c-section and failed to breastfeed past a week so I don't believe that those things necessarily get in the way of bonding). However there were some really tough points- lack of sleep, struggling with breastfeeding- but it was 1000% worth it.

Absolutely love it! I’ve had 3 children; now pregnant with my 4th and I definitely eat and sleep 😂
I’m slim, don’t hate my body, adore my husband and shower twice a day.

Ignore the negativity!

To be completely honest I hated it but I had PND for the first few months which ruined the new born stage for us, once I got to the doctor and finally got medication it really made a difference and I started to enjoy being a mum. I remember being so fed I with people telling me how wonderful having a new born is, it's really hard work and can be so lonely, no one talks about the reality.

Yes , newborns are the easy bit I wish that part lasted longer

Absolutely loved it, both times. It's bullshit when people say you won't have time to shower etc, there're ways around it. I used to put the baby in his/her cot, or in a bouncer and take a shower, I'd do my hair and put on some make up and get out and about. I made use of the children's centres where I made some lifelong friends, and sometimes just go for lovely walks with the baby. I enjoyed cooking, housekeeping and generally being a SAHM. I'd wanted kids since I was in the womb myself and waited a long time, having my first at 38, second at 41.

Now if you were to ask me if I enjoy having teenage children, the answer is no! Babies are way easier, teens are moody and rude, and always right. The girl teen thins my belongings are hers, and the boy (pre teen) is a noisy little spud with raging hormones. I love the bones of my kids but man they're hard work at this age, give me a newborn any day 😊.

I don't understand why you can't shower if there are two of you parenting. Go off for 10-15 mins and have a shower. If your OH can't help then there's something wrong.

I hated having a newborn.
We had a very difficult time with DD1 who had lots of health issues. DD2 was easier but I still disliked it and found it really monotonous and couldn't wait to go back to work.
Some people absolutely love caring for a newborn. Personally I started to enjoy it once they were toddlers and could see their personalities coming through.
My friend has recently had her first and although I privately think thank goodness it's not me I keep my thoughts to myself.
Different strokes for different folks. It would certainly be easier if I had enjoyed it!
Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

I didn't enjoy having a new born the first time round. Normally everyone just lies and tells you how amazing it is but actually you feel like you've just been hit by a bus (at least that's how I felt anyway).

The shock of someth

Hated it and loved it at the same time but from 18 months absolutely loved it

It's hard but I loved the newborn stage.

The shock of suddenly having zero time to yourself, trying to shower in 0.2 seconds before your baby kicks off, can't eat in peace for the next 4 years etc. for me, it really was quite shit.

BUT you also love them so much and could never imagine a life any other way.

With my 2nd, I knew what was coming so the shock wasn't there and I absolutely LOVED the newborn stage even though she was incredibly difficult.

It's amazing and terrible all at the same time!

Nope. Hell with 1st, we both (baby and I) cried for months. I had what we now know to be undiagnosed PNA/D, and had a terrible start to motherhood (looooong labour, emergency section, poorly after). Around the 4 month mark I had my first day when neither of us cried. It got better and honestly I really love the kind of 6 months plus bit where they're so happy and love everything you do. Gets bloody hard again at times around the 3 year mark 😂 But at least by then they can often tell you what's wrong.
2nd a much more easy going baby and we knew what we were doing with a baby so that was easier too. Still really don't like the first 4 or so months though. Bloody love the babies themselves, happy to soak in the milky cuddles and sleepy moments, but move on from the crying and always wanting only me (bfed both).
But honestly each stage has its good and bad bits. Some people love the newborn bit, others don't. Depends on the circumstances at the time, the mum and the baby.

Best advice is, don't listen to advice! Everyone bases it on their experience, and YOU are the best parent for your baby. Research and listen maybe, but don't do something which doesn't feel right to you. That said, my advice (😂) is roll with it. Everytime my 2st cried I tried to fix what might be wrong. Which often was impossible to either figure out or fix or both. With 2nd if he was clean, fed and warm I just gave in to it and held him while he cried, giving him comfort that I could. It was freeing for me and he calmed more easily than when I kept trying things to calm him. Babies cry. Sometimes there's nothing we can do except be there

I loved , loved the newborn phase with all three of my dcs! Especially the first one as no-one else to look after , it was basically a big holiday (I didn’t even have easy babies), my newborns slept way better than my older babies . With the first I just watched loads of movies, read , ate loads as I was breastfeeding and was burning calories loads . My body is totally normal after all three, in fact I’m a bit slimmer as leaned up loads due to breastfeeding or maybe as I was relatively young having dcs. I don’t have saggy skin or stretch marks , it’s literally the same as before buuuuut I breastfed loads and it contracted my womb and my skin back within days of birth after all three babies.
It was a magic time each time with all three as newborns , they are so beautiful, cuddly and stay in one place so you can do everything. I actually had a baby with reflux but as long as they were in the sling they were fine. My skin and hair were glowing from post birth hormones and you can still do what you like like go out for food , cafes, walks etc.
However I found the toddler stage a billion times more difficult, it came as a huge shock tbh, mine were all movers , bolters, climbers , didnt play with toys until they were all around 4, it was absolutely manic. We couldn’t sit down in our own house for years as they were climbing , putting stuff in their mouths and more kids close together means loads of work . Also I thought babies slept badly for a few months and then it was all good and you could sleep train them and it would be fine…. Emmmm nooooo two of mine went through phases of waking loads for years and we were firm parents , nothing. worked….
I was obviously a bit naive but always assumed it was only small babies who woke loads. We also had/have zero family support so it was challenging for a long time but our youngest is 6, we are 37 and back running and doing our hobbies and finally our children all sleep. We are still exhausted but I have lots of time now to put on makeup , exercise and have some free time. Newborns were a breeze for us, think plp focus so much on these part and then it can be a shock for plp like me when the toddler stage is so much harder.

Absolutely loved it! I’m early 50s now and I could happily go through that again! Although I won’t be !!

Yes and no. I loved my baby, and am now pregnant with planned baby no.2 and love this one too. But newborn wasn't the best time of my life, purely because of lack of sleep. I think if I wasn't sleep deprived it wouldn't of been so bad at all, you'll love it and will be fine! Those 'dreaded' days don't last forever.

Yes

The first one, no. Not his fault it was just a massive shock to the system for me. The second absolutely once the baby blues had passed, I was so relaxed because I felt confident in what I was doing and she responded in kind and was a relaxed happy baby.

No, I was worried and kinda angry all the time! Never been around newborns, had no idea what was normal. No support. I even hired someone to help for an hour or two and was worried she'd judge me. I wish I could go back and do it over again, better!