Did you enjoy having a newborn?

[Apregnantworrier]

I am pregnant with a very much loved and wanted baby.

But everyone around me seems desperate to tell me how awful it’s going to be - I won’t have time to eat, sleep or wash. I will hate my body and never be slim again or even have time to care how I look and my relationship will be the worst it’s ever been.

I know it’s luck of the draw as to how easy you’re baby is but I’m so excited for the next stage and to meet my baby and for them to get here safely and be healthy but I’m also looking forward to feeling a bit better than I do in pregnancy and more myself eventually.

Surely (given a lot of people have more than one child) the good outweighs the bad?

I loved it. There's struggles, getting to grips with everything but you get there.. he was a really good baby. And I was well looked after by family and hubby. Everyone has different experiences, I just listened to ppl and then let it out the other ear especially as I don't like being told what to do. DS is now 5. He's currently making annoying noises and watching Peppa pig. 5 is hard. He's stubborn and short tempered. Wonder where he gets it from 🙄😂 Him being a baby was a breeze!

Yes I loved it. It was actually my favourite but until now (almost 3)

It was so easy to meet her needs. Milk, cuddles and nappy changes. It was great until she was 9 months and started to want to be entertained 😂😂😂

Now it's even better because we have so much fun together and we can have a conversation.

There will always be hard days but overall it was a wonderful time, in spite of lockdowns etc.

Good luck!

I loved having newborns. First emergency c section so technically it should have been awful but it wasn’t. I was up and about the next day and showered.

I loved the newborn fog and although breastfeeding was tough to get going again I didn’t find it terrible. Of course it’s hard and you don’t know what you are doing but the newborn cuddles are just amazing. ❤️

Absolutely loved it three times over and when I see a newborn I ache to do it again. I don't want another kid, just a newborn. Those snuggles!
I think it helps to not expect anything, don't try to force a routine.
They just want to feel safe and snuggled around their mum.

Like the first pancake 🤣

I was over the moon with my newborn.

It was hard and tiring but feeding went ok and she slept on me so I got rest. It was a beautiful summer and every day we met our nct group in the park.

I found pregnancy very difficult and I was delighted to body to myself again.

*have my body to myself again ....

I don't want another kid, just a newborn

Ha! Me too!

I didnt enjoy the newborn stage but obviously loved my baby and was over the moon! It's hard for the first couple of months but then you get into a routine and it's a different story! Enjoy & congratulations

I didn't enjoy it, although if I knew what I knew now I think I would. I swear by routine! Particularly sleep routine, start as you mean to go on. Attachment parenting was not for me, my mental health would be terrible, I do wonder if this is why parents generally complain because they are tired and a baby constantly attached to them 🤔

Hormones are iffy for about a year, it clouds your judgment and mood.

No time for yourself, this is a massive issue if you don't have proper support.

I was fairly young and newly married do husband wasn't great, was a bit of a snowflake tbh and I put up with things I would not now. Don't take crap about them not helping with the baby and house.

Other mothers. It's tough. Alot of judgement which can be isolating.

I struggled with breastfeeding, it ruined the early days for me. I did not produce enough milk, my babies lost weight each time but I continued because I felt pressure to do so.

It's wonderful having a baby but it can be hard.

I loved it but perhaps because I was expecting to hate it and be wrecked. Low expectations are the way forwards. Also trying to be intuitive rather than listening to bay shit advice. I also thrive with chaos and weird sleep patterns. Didn't force myself to get the house clean and didn't need to get out to baby groups for my sanity. It was just really snug. Cosleeping was a sanity saver for me personally though I know people are divided on that one.

I absolutely loved it. So much I did it 4 times (and would do it again in a heartbeat!)

Mine is 6 now, thank God hated the tiny baby stage......never again but every mum and every baby is different.

It is the most beautiful and most difficult thing ever. I can look now and say I think I was just in a muted state of terror for a few months definitely living on my nerves BUT at the time I loved it. I also had a traumatic birth so that definitely impacted my postpartum period. Now she's 18months and it's a hell of a lot more settled, I'm much more relaxed and it's a lot of fun. The days are long, the years are short. Don't try to wed yourself to a routine straight away, let baby give you their routine and just roll with it.

And block out anyone who tells you how horrendous it is 🙄

I absolutely loved it. DP and I were talking about it last night and looking through the photos on his phone of the first few weeks and saying how much we would love to do it all over again even though we equally love the stage he's at now at 14 months. They sleep for the majority of the day so was able to easily get stuff done aswell as spend a huge chunk of the cuddling him on the sofa. Good luck!

I loved it so much that I can understand why some women have huge families.

Whoever is telling you that, disassociate yourself from them immediately.

Absolute scare mongering... as if you are going to change your decision to have your beautiful baby.

Your experience is your own and you will get through whatever that experience brings to your door.

All the best x

Sorry for the long reply but really wanted to send you an honest response having just become a first time mum - now to a 5 1/2 month old baby.

When I was pregnant everyone told me to 'get as much sleep as you can now as when baby comes you will miss it' and honestly she has slept through the night since 8 weeks old... (I am conscious it could change at any minute with teething looming etc.) but it gave me SO much anxiety when I was pregnant the amount people used to 'warn' me and honestly some babies do sleep just no one says it as it isn't popular if you do!

No matter how much you prepare to become a parent, honestly it's a shock to the system even when your baby is much loved & wanted, it's okay to still admit you find it hard.

It really depends on the type of person you are as to how well and quickly you adjust.

For me, I am a worrier and a bit of a control freak, so the first 8 weeks or so were a blur of constant feeding/ lack of sleep due to worrying and having absolutely no clue what I was doing and feeling like I would never feel like me ever again.

I don't think anyone can prepare you for the overwhelming sense of responsibility that comes with becoming a parent. You suddenly go from just having yourself/partner to think about to having so much more to consider constantly and it's a big adjustment which takes time.

Some things that I now know that I would tell myself if I could have done before having my DD:

• It doesn't matter if you breastfeed or not. Yes the Midwives and Health visitors will push it, but honestly fed is best. I loved the little part of my BF journey with my baby as the connection is amazing but for us it only lasted 8 weeks as she got severe jaundice ended up back in hospital and then formula fed to stop her needing an NG tube, I couldn't express as my milk was late to come in and then supply dwindled despite me pumping every hour and doing everything I could. I was miserable and felt like I had failed her. But now I have a healthy 5 month old bouncing on my knee giggling and smiling and I realise I tried my best and she was fed and that's all that mattered. Do what you feel is right for you no one else. I BF longer than I should have done because I felt the overwhelming pressure to do so and it makes me sad now when I look at some of the photos of the night's I tried pumping for hours on end only to get 10ml and how deflated I'd feel. (I had support of specialist lactation midwife as well!)

• Accept help and ask for it if you need it. Even if it's just the little things, someone dropping off a meal or helping you clean the house while baby naps.

• You will shower in peace again and have hot cups of tea and date nights, it is possible, I assume the people saying you won't be able to maybe didn't have good support networks so this is dependant upon your own personal circumstances.

• Go to baby groups, meet other new mums, you will realise we're all winging it and doing our best.

• Baby blues is really common. I got it in the first few weeks after having DD. Hormones are all over the place, life is different, coping with change is hard. For me it passed, if it doesn't seek help, there is no shame in it. Everyone expects you to be overjoyed with a new baby even yourself, so it's hard if you are also feeling sad/overtired/confused/anxious but it can be perfectly normal to feel this way.

Lastly I wish I could have told myself around week 6 when my baby had colic and screamed constantly as I tried anything and everything to soothe her that it WILL pass and that better times are ahead, that at 5 1/2 months I will look at wonder at my little creation and be overjoyed at watching her do new things for the first time and if I go out anywhere without her I will feel like my right arm is missing! That I will feel so in love with being a mummy that any of those early days struggles will seem like a distant memory and that I'll be more chilled and begin to settle into my new role as a mum gaining confidence every day. That all parts of parenting are phases, all babies are different and as long as she's healthy and happy that is all that really matters.

I still don't think the newborn stage will ever be my favourite, but certainly now at almost 6 months, she is starting to interact and have a little personality and it just makes me melt. People like different stages of parenting for different reasons.

'As a mother of adults, teens and under tens I can honestly say (despite it being hard at the time) the newborn stage is as easy as it gets.
Truly.'

Really? Because I remember crying because I was so tired I wasn't able to butter a slice of toast.

Absolutely not - hated every minute of it. Enjoy parenthood now though that she is 9 and would do it all over again a million times for her but no, it was the most difficult experience I've ever went through in my life. I was only 21 and in a bad relationship though, I think I would be different now.

What people always leave out is that although it is hard sometimes and you're tired and you feel like it'll last forever (it does go by in a flash but it doesn't feel like that when you're faced with a new baby) you have your baby. The thing you will grow to love most in the world. Sometimes that's the hardest struggle of all, dealing with all the love that's pouring out towards this little gorgeous helpless thing. They make it all worth it. Even when they're toddlers and they repeatedly launch themselves off the back of the sofa onto your head for a laugh

I loved it, feeling a bit emotional now thinking about it as it was over 25 years ago. It is a beautiful time, I would do it all again if I could. The cuddles, feeding, the smell of a baby.

I actually found the newborn stage very easy, I had a difficult birth and emergency c section, but recovered well.
She slept all the time, fed well and was a happy baby, I had so much time on my hands!

It got more difficult later on, but the first few weeks were easy 😂

No, I didnt, but not because of any of those reasons (they sleep SO much you can definately eat sleep and shower) my relationship is just fine and I actually lost weight during pregnancy (i gained significantly more after 😂😂)

My baby was in NICU for 6 days after birth, then once home didn't gain weight "as expected" (I BF) he also had jaundice for 3 weeks
My anxiety got the better of me and I was convinced he was going to die (i spent so much time googling if his breathing was right, if he was awake enough, i set alarms to feed him 2 hourly through the night for 8 weeks!!!! I was absolutely convinced i couldnt produce enough milk for him! Etc etc.. this went on for 10 weeks (until I eventually told the HV's to back off and I'd weigh him myself - he was gaining weight admittedly slowly, but has stayed on the same centile that he was at 3 weeks)
Hes 7 months old now and an absolute joy.. I wish I could go back to day one and do it all again, and enjoy his tiny squishyness more, I spent so much time crying i barely remember it :(

Mine has recently turned 3 months old and I’m loving it. It can be tough, the transition to being a parent and responsible for someone other than yourself in such a deep way - the first few weeks I has this overwhelming MUST KEEP ALIVE thought. At some points I cried because I wanted him to be a baby forever. Hormones do crazy things.
I tried to prepare myself whilst pregnant for never sleeping again, never ending crying, etc. Nature then blessed me with a very calm baby. Not sure what I would be saying if my baby had a different temperament tho. But just to say - easy babies also exist (and I count my blessings every day)