Did you enjoy having a newborn?

[Apregnantworrier]

I am pregnant with a very much loved and wanted baby.

But everyone around me seems desperate to tell me how awful it’s going to be - I won’t have time to eat, sleep or wash. I will hate my body and never be slim again or even have time to care how I look and my relationship will be the worst it’s ever been.

I know it’s luck of the draw as to how easy you’re baby is but I’m so excited for the next stage and to meet my baby and for them to get here safely and be healthy but I’m also looking forward to feeling a bit better than I do in pregnancy and more myself eventually.

Surely (given a lot of people have more than one child) the good outweighs the bad?

I absolutely loved it!! But my husband had 5 months off and DS was born just before Christmas so it was all lovely and magical.

Newborn is the easy bit IME (I've had v easy newborns!).

It's both brilliant and bloody awful all at the same time. Some have it easier than others but you'll adore them all the same. Honestly mine were awful till they got to 3 but don't regret it xx

It's very hard, but because of the life change. I didn't find eating and washing a challenge, I don't understand how people struggle, although maybe they're worried about leaving their baby in the Moses basket while you shower but I took the monitor with me?

I just found the first year very odd. Your life has just changed, your friendships change, it's just an adjustment I struggled with. Make sure you have a good support system in your friends and family.

There's no denying it, even with 'easy' babies, the first 12 weeks will be chaos and often frustrating and unpredictable. But also special. The trick is doing what it takes to get you through (within reason), not necessarily what people are telling you to do.

They are quite nice and portable when tiny - once you've got the hang of taking them out of the house (tbh probably 4+ weeks to get there!) take advantage of that and get about, and get them used to napping on different places. I think some babies will never get the hang of that, but if you don't try and always rush home for naps, you'll never find out. If you can make that happen, it's quite liberating.

You can wash and go to the loo, I was never prevented from doing that - though it's mainly older, mobile babies that are an issue there rather than newborns. Possibly a bit of an unpopular opinion, but I do sometimes feel the 'I can't wash or go to the loo' parents have allowed that to happen. You can put a baby that's not mobile or in early stages of mobility somewhere safe while you do so. You can lock the door and put them in front of something engrossing when they're a bit older.

Yes! I loved it. There were things that made it hard and I did cry at times – she had tongue tie and colic and DP was commuting 5 days a week so sometimes I really didn’t wash for days, plus I had a bitchy NCT “perfect mothers” group and some birth trauma to deal with – but honestly, most of maternity was a dream. A very tired dream…

She’s a great and entertaining 4-year-old but she was a LOVELY baby. I thoroughly enjoyed doing nothing but let her snooze on me while I sniffed her head and ate cake and read books. (Right up until the 4pm witching hour when someone swapped her for Satan.)

Doing it all again in three weeks and I can’t wait. Not least because I am very bad at being pregnant whereas once your baby arrives you can start to physically recover.

Loved it- especially with my first, lots of sitting, everything was exciting and new, breastfeeding whilst binge watching line of duty/ good times!
i don’t overly like the toddler years but a newborn baby is divine imo

Newborns are amazing in my experience. Iv got a 3 year old and a 3 month old and so far they are identical in every way. The baby sleeps all the time, only ever wakes once a night for a feed, and has started sleeping through. Using my time to sell half my life on Vinted and deep clean the house, I love it! It isn't for everyone though my friend has a baby 2 weeks older than mine and she hates the mundane nature of the day to days and he is rather high needs compared to mine.

What @Namora said! There’s a spectrum of newborns. Those of us who have had more than one will attest to how different their personalities/habits/needs can be.
Personally I’m not a huge fan of newborns because I can’t cope with sleep deprivation. Much better after 6 months, although I also agree with PP who said that 1-3 is hard. 12-18 months particularly, whilst language is limited but energy and emotions are big…my gosh! But newborns gave me the chance to breastfeed, which is now a massive part of my identity and the best thing I’ve ever done (I have two bf-ing kids aged 6 months and nearly 2.5).
Enjoy what you can, endure what you can’t 🙂

I hated every second with my first, she didn't sleep, she had colic and was a difficult baby overall. My second was an absolute dream baby and I would of had another 10 babies if I could guarantee they would all be like him.
Every baby is different, but it will honestly be the best thing you'll ever do. And remember the newborn stage isn't forever x

First one no. I was a slave to feeding apps and drove myself crazy panicking about every little thing.
Second one yes. I'm much more relaxed about everything. He's a much better sleeper than my first although she wasn't that bad compared to some of the horror stories I heard when I was pregnant.

God I miss those 30 minute showers I used to have though.

I adored it. It was very, very special. I’d spend ages just gazing at her in amazement.
Plus, it was such a short period really, the weeks flew and suddenly she was 3 months, then 9 etc.
The bad bits (the night time) was the worst, sometimes they seemed never ending) but that said, it passed. DD was an April baby so within 6 weeks of her being born it was daylight at 5am anyway.
I’d do it all again tomorrow if I was young enough.
It’s worth every second (plus you kind of forget 17 years later 🤣🤣).

I love it and did find time to do all I needed to do .. I think it's harder now she's chatting back at me!! 😂

Loved every minute of it. I would stay awake after the night feeds holding her and just looking at her beautiful face.

I was not so lucky with my first born son who I miss dearly so I appreciated and still appreciate every second of my daughter.

I loved it and I am now loving the toddler years. Obviously it’s not the same for everyone and there are hard elements but overall ut has made me so happy and I am loving it

Please try not to worry and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy! I actually found the newborn stage much easier than the stage we are in now (just turned 2). I may have been lucky, but my baby was quite happy to be put down so I could find time to wash, clean , make a cuppa etc as he spent most of his time sleeping!

My child had special needs and was challenging to care for. We spent many weeks in NICU. I absolutely loved having a newborn though. Different stages are better for different parents and with different babies. Just ignore what people say and do not let it scare you. You are going to have a unique journey with your baby, just roll with it and don',t create any self fulfilling prophecies through fear.

I had my first baby yesterday at 06:06 and I'm so in love. I've barely slept but I've currently got my baby boy on my chest while he sleeps and I couldn't be happier. Ask me again in 6 months!

No idea how to vote as have no idea what your AIBU is,

But, as so many have said - it just depends. There are so many variables.
Personally, no, I didn't like the newborn stage, but lots do.
Not sure how that is connected to going on to have another though - the general aim is to be a parent for around 60 years, so, not enjoying 3 months or so of that isn't really a lot in the scheme of things.

This is so true!

Of course the good outweighs the bad. But for some people, the newborn stage really is quite bad! It will entirely depend on your baby.

I don't want to sound negative about it at all, but I honestly wish I'd have mentally prepared for the worst rather than assume everything was going to be lovely. I'd rather be surprised by a 'unicorn' easy newborn than be surprised by a difficult one.

My baby was such a difficult newborn, and it knocked me for six - but even in the worst times, the love and joy at having him in my life was worth it. I'm pregnant again now, so clearly I think the good outweighs the bad!

The comments about your body are weird though. Why even say that to a pregnant woman?! For me, I remember looking at my body in the mirror properly about a week postpartum and thinking "bloody hell, I look awful". Then I went about my day and paid it no more mind - I was far too preoccupied with motherhood and my baby to be worrying about that! By the next time I even thought or worried about the way I looked again, my body had gotten basically back to its pre-pregnancy self. I imagine your mileage may vary and some people will have permanent changes and others won't. I do very much think, though, that most people are too engrossed in motherhood to worry about it for a long time to come!

Didn't love the first 6 weeks with trying to recover while your world is turned upside down. After that it was brilliant.

I always thought the "you'll be be knackered, skint, smelly, harassed and considering divorce... but it's the best thing ever!!" narrative was a rubbish one, but there's probably something in it! And it's just not, normally, all the bad parts happening at once

No it was awful. Reflux baby who screamed and screamed. Everything terrified him. I got almost no sleep. It was torture, it was miserable, it was lonely.

pp said you can control everything with a new born, but I couldn’t. There was nothing I could do to control the screaming. Nothing to do to comfort him. Honestly it was hell.

No newborns are pretty boring. Sticking food in one end and cleaning up the other end is mind numbing. I don't like sitting cuddling a baby either. I enjoyed it much more when they were interactive and active.

I loved it but I live by dry shampoo and enthusiasm at the best of times anyway.

I loved it.

My first baby was pretty 'easy', my second was trickier (worse sleeper, colic etc) but it's the easiest phase of parenting I've found so far.

I'm not a very anxious person, which helps, and they kind of just slotted in. I didn't really ever feel overwhelmed by my new life, I was surprised to feel that I'd been born for it.

Yeah, broken sleep isn't fun, but it's not like that's confined to babies - toddlers+ can sleep worse than newborns.

I used slings a lot, and I think staying constantly close to me helped reduce crying and fussyness.

In those early months I was still and to go out with friends, out to parties (often with baby in a sling). I hosted parties myself. I immersed meeting in baby groups, new found friends, and honestly never felt happier or more alive.

Toddlers I found harder - they require a lot more interaction, still don't sleep, nap less in the day, and your have actual parenting to start doing rather than care, if that makes sense (yes, newborns are 'parented' but you don't have behaviour etc to think about in the same way). But they are also so funny, and can be great company.

I don't regret my children for a moment. I loved having a newborn - I'd say I'd love them to stay that way, but of course I wouldn't really, as that would mean something was very wrong. I did love that stage in my life and crave it again though - then I remember toddlers, and how despite their loveliness, how much work they are, and think 2 is probably enough