Hour many hours sleep at weekend

[sleepyrant]

I'm trying to establish what is normal for a grown adult male.

My DH seems to think that 12/ 15 hours is normal.

And that I am a nag/ unreasonable for suggesting that sleeping like a teenager is normal for a grown arsed male.

Should I LTB?

Well you might be happy with that, you clearly are because you share my DH's love of sleep.

But I don't have to be.

If it was health issue it would be different.

Who decided to get the dog?

he did, we have two.

9 hours seems to be the maximum recommended daily sleep need.
www.sleepfoundation.org/how-sleep-works/oversleeping and multiple other sources.

I have two children under 5 at the moment and I'm so looking forward to lie-ins again, I'll be damned if my husband will be ruining them for me.

well that's nice but are you planning to sleep half the weekend because I'm not talking about the occasional lie in here.

Lie-ins is fine. One each.
By the time he's up it's probably beginning to get dark so no time for a walk. With a couple of dogs you'd think he'd like to do that.

Would be nice to go out for brunch or lunch sometimes but clearly that's too much for him.

If you haven't got small children, Nd your kids are sleeping, why do you want him to get up? For the sake of it?

Well, they could easily go out for lunch, but for some reason, they don't.

Him getting up at midday still leaves them with plenty of time to spend together - they could go to the cinema, go for lunch, go to the theatre, go shopping, go to museums or galleries, take the dogs for a long walk and have a nice, long lunch in the pub afterwards, go out for dinner...the possibilities are endless.

I don't know where you live either, but there's still a good 2-3 hours of daylight left at midday, even in the middle of winter!

Sleeping in until midday doesn't mean the entire weekend is a write-off.

Well if I do all the bloody house work, walk the dogs, do the food shop and all of the other rubbish that needs doing while he's asleep we might then be able to enjoy the free afternoons.

This problem is bigger for me in the winter when there are less hours of daylight.

Good grief I can't understand why you are trying to defend him so much and why you won't see that him sleeping half the weekend, week in week out has a negative impact on my life.

I just don't think my weekend is wasted because I choose to sleep until midday.

There are loads of things you can do between midday and 10pm, not to mention weekday evenings. You don't need to worry about childcare so you have the freedom to do pretty much anything.

Cross post, but I see. In your world, I do all the chores while he sleeps leaving the afternoons free to do lunch of maybe visit a museum! LOL!

Because I don't think he's doting anything wrong. It feels like you resent him and you just want people to sit here and agree with you about how shit he is.

From my view, there are loads of solutions, but you don't seem to want to hear them.

You don't need to worry about childcare so you have the freedom to do pretty much anything.

You have said you don't have kids but you realise that they still want and need parental involvement in the teen years, right?

In your solution when does he pull his weight?

I'd love to have afternoons free to visit museums but the reality is I have a lazy ass husband who doesn't get out of bed to assist with chores until lunchtime.

Well it's fine if u don't have any kids or responsibilities. I couldn't put up with that as I have 2 young kids and too much stuff to be getting on with and my dh needs to do his share.

It's not normal especially if he needs 11-12hrs during the week. There is a difference between want and need. I cld easily sleep 12hrs or well I used to be able to!

I would say that I need 10hrs to feel good but I usually survive on 7-8 or less per night. Last night I went to bed at 12.30am my 5yr old woke me at 7.45. That's just how it is.

Ah, so there we have it. He doesn't pull his weight in general.

You're focusing on his sleep patterns when that's not actually the problem.

If you read the thread most people do agree with me.

Ah, so there we have it. He doesn't pull his weight in general.

NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID.
You are saying our afternoons could be spent doing nice things. I said we don't have time to do those things together because he wakes up at noon, then the chorea get done. This leaves no time for the fun stuff.

Then don't do the chores at the weekends 🤷🏻‍♀️

Right I"m starting to think you live in some kind of fantasy land.

We both work, kids do activities/ have home work.

We do what we can in the week but it would be impossible to do the household chores for a family of 4 and 2 dogs at the weekend.

If he's lazy, he'll be lazy regardless of when he wakes up in the mornings.

He could do his share of chores in the evenings, before work, or on his lunch break.

What is it that desperately needs doing on a Saturday and that means you can't possibly do anything else?

He could do his share of chores in the evenings, before work, or on his lunch break.

See previous post. He walks dogs at lunchtime as he wfh.

Evenings kids activities.

You don't have kids. That is crystal clear.

You're seething with resentment about your "lazy ass husband" and it's pretty clear you just want to vent about how shit you think he is.

I think he is shit for staying in bed till lunchtime when there is no health reason to do so, yes.

I think it is lazy and it impacts on our family life.

Then the answer is to break up and find someone who you feel isn't shit.

If you are childfree and can arrange your week so you can enjoy the morning in bed then go out for lunch or to an art gallery then it's no wonder you enjoy it.

You have made some fairly large assumptions about my family set up based on your own experience which is totally irrelevant to mine.