To date a 22yo

[MightyFishwife]

I’m in my late thirties with one child and I’ve been asked out by a guy I know who’s 22. I like him, and find him attractive (and all the usual blah about him being mature for his age etc) but it’s quite the age gap.

Would it give you the ick, or would you give it a go? Can age gaps like that work out?

How long have you been together if you're engaged?

Why do you need things in common? What’s wrong with finding out about each other and embracing the differences? Have to say people are really over thinking this. It might be that it gives some MNers the ick, but honestly this has nothing to do with anyone but you OP. If you’re attracted to him just go on a date and see what happens. Why people are making a young man who is open minded enough to date an older woman into something sinister is very negative. Women are forever complaining that men only fancy young women, then one comes along who finds an older woman attractive and suddenly it’s like the worst thing ever. Never happy.

Even when I was twenty two I didn’t want to date twenty two year old men.

Bloody hell, as evidenced in this thread you'll get a lot of people who have never been in the situation judging you, OP. If you're both happy, go for it and see where it leads. Let others clutch their pearls if they want, that's up to them to sit and fret about it.

Me neither, but I didn’t want to date almost 40 year old’s with baggage either.

If you want to. You'll get a fair amount of judgment for it, as it's only men that are allowed to date younger, not women......if you like each other, and get on, why not?

I agree about the things in common. My DP is much younger, and while we have the things that matter to us in common, shared values, humour, politics, mutual attraction, our differences are a huge source of fun and amusement to us. It would be a boring old world if we had could only engage with our own age group.

Yeah - People judge other people. It's not shocking or difficult to understand. Everyone has a judgement value on some things - The OP asked for opinions and she got responses. (If she hadn't asked - she wouldn't have). I'm not clutching my pearls or fretting about it ffs. (And you do know that you are judging people for judging the OP don't you - so join the club!)

Wow you sound delightful

What's wrong with having standards and knowing what you can and cant deal with in a relationship?

Unless you are a total hypocrite and expect way more than you yourself bring to the table, I really don't see why you should settle.

These criteria are not even particularly shallow. Very reasonable and understandable...

Crikey, this took off a bit — thanks all for the input.

The situation has taken me by surprise, if I’m honest — he’s not been on my radar romantically for long at all; prior to this, I was dating a guy for three years who’s in his early fifties — similar age gap but the other way round. It wasn’t an issue, hence me considering this.

I appreciate everyone who took the time to comment constructively, whichever way you voted.

Surely you can see the difference in someone in the two scenarios?

I wouldn't be happy if you were dating my son (sorry)

It wouldn't be any of your business though would it, PP? Because 22 is not "only just into adulthood" as someone was trying to say, and is old enough to have a degree, a good job, a car, even a mortgage (although this is less common now than it was due to the cost of property) and to know their own minds and make their own mistakes. We need to stop infantilising this generation.

OP, it is entirely up to you and him whether to date and whether to formalise the relationship further if it seems to be working, especially as your child is nowhere near his age (this would be my personal dealbreaker as it wouldn't be fair on either of them).

You're both adults, if you like each other then see what happens would be my advice. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Please come back to the thread and tell us how it's going though?!

I would, with the expectation that it probably won’t last. All I can think at the moment is lucky you!

How old is your son op?

Can’t you find anyone born in the same century as you? I’d definitely find it weird!

Not long

Nah.
He only has to look over his shoulder and his childhood is still lurking there in the near distance. He’s probably still dealing with the remains of teenage back acne.

Men do not all the time - why not women. I would not judge OP. If you want to - fist enough, he is an adult.

*fair enough

You’re funny.

It’s called - having minimal standards.

Well I wouldn't be happy about someone in their late 30s with a child dating my 22-year-old son either. It is quite a normal attitude imo.

I'm a little bit confused by your post - you think the solution to stop infantilising young adults is to fuck them? Seems quite distasteful, doesn't it? Aren't there better ways to go about it?

Well, knock me down with a feather!

@TeddyisMydog

you are 28 and engaged to a 19 year old?

just AS your name. Last month you started a thread and you said

Me and my partner have 3 older children and a 9 month old baby.

oh and another one about being pregnant.