To date a 22yo

[MightyFishwife]

I’m in my late thirties with one child and I’ve been asked out by a guy I know who’s 22. I like him, and find him attractive (and all the usual blah about him being mature for his age etc) but it’s quite the age gap.

Would it give you the ick, or would you give it a go? Can age gaps like that work out?

Did you meet your husband at 22 before your brain was fully developed, and did he have 2 children?

"I'm a man who's almost 40 years old and I'm attracted to this lovely young 22 year old girl. I think she likes me too, should I go for it?"

Would that be 'Of course OP, you only live once, you're both over the age of consent!'

Or 'Ew, find someone your own age you filthy bloke. Poor woman doesn't need some disgusting perv lusting after her'.

Double standards on here, ain't it?

I was 20 and he had one daughter.

I would find that age gap quite predatory...

I was quite predatory, yes!

How long have you been with him @Tinseltosser ?

Ooops hit send too soon!

DH was a work friend, gorgeous, obviously cared about his daughter and never once bad mouthed his ex despite her cheating and walking out on him.

I pursued him very enthusiastically!

Obviously some age gap relationships where the younger person is vulnerable for some reason may indicate an abuse of power, but I do find it a bit insulting to insinuate that because I was a young woman that I didn't know my own mind, or that DH must have been a predator/abusive.

@Feef83 15 years this year.

Depends what you want. If unsure about a relationship and you just want a bit of excitement and fun why not keep it casual and be fuck buddies on evenings where you are child free. If it develops into potential for more than that and no ick develops then go for it.

Ok this is a bit different then.

It’s gross if you ask me and id say the same about a man of that age dating a 22 year old woman.

I don't think I've seen a single thread featuring a 22 year old woman who has asked a 40 year old man on a date?
In the highly unlikely event that 'lovely young 22 year old women' are out there pursuing 40 year old men, I dont think the men are posting on MN about it. So I'm not sure we need to worry too much about the hypothetical advice they might recieve.

Avoid like the plague.

Younglings like that want the MILF experience basically, but when they inevitably age a bit and want their own family, they scarper.

Plus you can almost guarantee they will say misogynist things about women their own age.

Bollocks, I meant to add:

I would never personally date someone who was more than ten years younger than I am, and I'd definitely never date anyone who was specifically looking for an age gap relationship because there are so many fucked up reasons why they are grim.

No sorry he's young enough (biologically at least) to be your son! I mean, I can understand being attracted to a man that age - absolutely. That's natural. But there's a massive transition in maturity, wisdom and life experience that takes place between 25-35. Huge. You've likely been through this already as you sound like you're the same age as me. He's very unlikely to have reached this stage yet.
Do you think he will still be just as attracted to you in 10 years time when he's only 32 and you're thinking ahead to your 50th? Or when he's 42 and you're planning your 60th?

Of course I'm aware that vice versa, these age differences are not uncommon. However it is a proven fact that men mature at a slower rate than women. So I think that counts for quite a lot!

My nephew is 22 and I was 15 when he was born. I find myself offering him guidance & life advice, as Aunties often do! He no longer has his DM so I'm often a pseudo-mum to him. So the thought of dating someone the same age as the baby whose nappy I used to change, is alarming to me personally!

I started seeing my partner when he was 21 and I was 30 and we've been together 10 years and have a child. Slightly less age gap but it can work! Depends on the person

It depends on your life experiences too. OP is a mum of 2 and presumably at least 15 years older in this instance, so quite a difference.

I'm 28, engaged to a 19 year old

If this was on a predominantly guy’s forum you’d be getting a very different response. Look at Leo Decaprio!

I’m 39.

No way in hell would I date a 22 year old. Gives me the total ick.

I don't know about 'frequently' but I do know they get massively flamed for it on here.

Haha I know but it would make me feel weird… and old.

My partner & I refer to stuff in our common history all the time & we’re mid thirties.

This guy won’t even know MSN messenger! Does he know what a video cassette is?

What would you have in common? Call of Duty latest release? His latest assignment for Uni? Nope.

It’s legal and you can both consent, so if you really want to do it, it’s your business. However, my opinion is that it’s a bit icky.

I’m 36 and we have some 21/22 year old (female) students at my work. They’re like a different species…adulthood (renting flats, relationships, being in a workplace, etc) is all new and exciting to them. As pps have mentioned, his brain isn’t fully developed.

I have been through a lot of changes, experiences and life events since 22, I wouldn’t feel like a 22 year old could be mature enough to be an equal partner.

Furthermore, you’re at a different stage in life, settled and have kids. If you get into a relationship with him, he could be missing out on more typical rites of passage for a 22 year old.

I was about to say why would an 11-year-old not know about 9/11, when I realised he would have been one 🤣