To date a 22yo

[MightyFishwife]

I’m in my late thirties with one child and I’ve been asked out by a guy I know who’s 22. I like him, and find him attractive (and all the usual blah about him being mature for his age etc) but it’s quite the age gap.

Would it give you the ick, or would you give it a go? Can age gaps like that work out?

Thank you for all the thoughtful posts — I’ll definitely think on it.

Hardly exceptional to have a twenty two year old at thirty nine for example..
Uncommon perhaps, but exceptional?

Exceptional would be thirty nine with a twenty four or twenty five year old.

Fwiw I personally am acquainted with a thirty five year old granny. Yes, yes I am resolutely common as muck as it happens 😁

I am skewed by having a 21 year old son (I'm 43) but no. I wouldn't be into it. I wouldn't be happy if you were dating my son (sorry) but would realise I need to keep my mouth closed!! How old is his mum?

It depends on him as a person more than anything. At that age DP was a dad to our first with the second on the way, and we had our own house and jobs (well, his business). Age doesn't necessarily mean it won't go anywhere.

I mean, it's your life, but I'll be honest, it massively gives me the ick.

Gosh, yes how old is his mum?

I'm seven years (nearly eight) older than my DH. My MIL is only eleven years older than me.
It took her quite a few years to even be able to disguise her disdain of me 🤣

His mum is mid-late fifties, his dad is mid sixties.

You think having a baby at 16/17 isn't exceptional?

Ick.

It would be too much for me. Way too much.

Indeed I don't.

As I said, uncommon yes. Exceptional, hardly.

That may be less problematic than of she were only in her forties then. Still, don't expect her to welcome you in to the fold with open arms.

I would certainly have my reservations at least initially.

Rule ive reqd is half.your age plus 7. So if you are 38 its 'ok' to date q 26 year old but no younger. Everyone different though.

I think it depends on where you want the relationship to go.

I'm 53 and was dating a 36 year old for over a year.
We got on brilliantly despite all my reservations.
Unfortunately he wanted a relationship, and I only wanted FWB.

Is he planning to be President of France at some point in the future?

Joking aside, you seem to be thinking carefully as you have said.

It’s all very well people saying it’s ok if you just want a bit of fun, but what if you end up really falling for this lad OP or vice versa? I have a 22 year old and I would be worried if he were to get with a much older woman with kids.

He works with kids, also, and views me very much as the parent of mine, not some fancy-free woman.

is he your kid's swimming coach or something? Where did you meet? What is it you like about him?

Of course it's not exceptional.

It quite is is some places/circles.

I'm 31 and honestly have never personally met a teen mom. Not that I remember.

My son is only three younger younger at 19. Seems very grown up, highly intelligent, very up to date with politics and the world. Charming. But very inexperienced in relations. So don't expect wise in age to translate to emotionally intelligent. There's not the years of experience behind it.

Yes I'd crack on tbh but don't fall for him. Anything over 21 is proper adult territory imo. But if was his mum, I'd be rolling my eyes hard at you 😄 in my mind of course.

However if you was a man and it was my dd I'd be voicing my concerns. Misogynistic or not. I wouldn't try to stop it.

Life is too bloody short, it could be just a bit of fun or he could end up being your soul mate. Go for it I say, enjoy!

You may not know any personally, but that doesn't mean they don't exist - it's hardly outside of the norm for people to have babies in their late teens.

You can argue it's unusual or that it's not ideal, but I really wouldn't say it's exceptional. Exceptional is having a baby at 12/13/14, not past the legal age.

However if you was a man and it was my dd I'd be voicing my concerns. Misogynistic or not. I wouldn't try to stop it.

That's an interesting take @IncessantNameChanger. I get why on an intuitive level (and I'd be the same), but I think on average men reach emotional maturity later than girls so the same gap would be more problematic for a young man. So shouldn't it be the other way around? Donno, it's made me think...

Crack on. We're here for a good time, not a long time. Enjoy 😘