To want my autistic DC to start reception in mainstream?

[Ambern7]

DC gets on well at mainstream nursery but is developmentally behind peers. I am not happy with the special needs provisions in our area so have opted for mainstream with good support in place through EHCP, which we fought hard for.
However, professionals involved keep asking me if we are sure we don’t want to go with the special provisions, they have listed lots of things they think are great about the school, however I don’t think the facilities will benefit my DC personally.
These unwanted opinions have got me second guessing something I was so sure of previously. I just don’t see the problem of starting off in mainstream and seeing how it goes, AIBU?

AFAIK; it is much, much harder to get into a special provision as an in year transfer or as they get older as there are very few spaces, if any. There are so many children currently struggling in state schools, waiting for a move to a special school that may never happen. Much easier to move from special to mainstream if it was necessary.

I would take on board the fact that the professionals involved with your child seem to be advising a special provision would be best. I know it’s hard but they will be advising on where will best meet your child’s needs.

Every child is individual so it’s hard to say. Our son is 7 and in a specialist ASD provision, within a mainstream school. He started in a mainstream primary class at another school, reception age, which was ok but totally unsuitable for him due to how busy the class was. We wished we’d put him in the provision from reception age tbh.

But as I say, every child is different. If you think your child will cope in that environment with more academic goals etc, then go with your gut instinct. I agree, it is only one year to gauge where they are at and see if it’s the right environment for them.

I forgot to add, the local ASD team worker suggested this setting to us because of it being obvious that he wouldn’t cope going ok to LS1. We took her professional judgement on board and agreed.

*going in to KS1

bedtime for me I think 🤦🏻‍♀️🫣

If multiple professionals are gently advising you to reconsider then I'd be inclined to listen to be honest.
Have you met with and spoken to your desired Mainstream school? Are they really confident that they can meet her needs?
I've worked with children who managed less than a week in Reception then ended up at home until Year 2 because there were no specialist places available so do make sure that your chosen mainstream has a proven track record and is actively welcoming towards your dd. If they're not it can be heartbreaking all round.

I taught in a special school for many years. Often parents would want their children to go to mainstream, it would fail them*, and they'd come to us aged six or seven. Within weeks, the parents saw the difference in their children, and if I had a pound for every parent who said that they wished they'd let them come to us from the start, I'd be rich.

In the few years since I retired, that option of changing their mind when mainstream failed, has pretty much gone. It's way, way harder to transfer from mainstream to specialist provision than it is to get a place straight from nursery. And once mainstream has gone wrong, life is massively hard for the child.

Given the cuts that are coming, I'd say your chances of moving him later are close to zero. However, if your child does well in the specialist provision, a transfer to mainstream is absolutely possible. We transitioned some of our pupils on that direction each year.

*just to make it clear, I don't blame the mainstream schools or their teachers. They simply do not have the resources, the training or the experience to cope with our children in a large class

If you was in my county, you'd have no chance of a place in state speaclist unless you got in in key transfer, snd unless that was reception you'd still have a hard time.

I'm not saying your choice is wrong btw.

I got two kids into specialist one in year 1, one year five. But they was non state maintained and one involved lots of tribunals. His younger brother was moved under threat of tribunal and going after my costs. So in my personal experience, it not like asking and then just moving. It's not easy yo do. But my county is pretty dire.

I initially felt the same about my DC who has an autism diagnosis.

Managed to secure 1-2-1 TA for a mainstream setting with EHCP and was all ready for DC to start in reception, then I got told about the specialist provision.

Specialist is 3 classes of 8 DC per class, with 4 adults per classroom vs 3 classes of 30 DC per class, with 2 adults (plus any extra secured through EHCP) in mainstream.

Think hard about what support your DC will need during the school day, as the reality is that your DC's TA will likely get spread amongst DC who need help (EHCP or no EHCP) in addition to the TA supporting your DC.

There's a total of 24 DC in my DC's year group, which is maximum capacity. Unless a DC leaves to go to mainstream (at this stage unlikely), there's no room for a DC who is struggling in mainstream to join mid-year. That scenario is the reality of what's happening across the country for DC with SEN.

Thank you for the responses. I don’t expect DC to have difficulty being in the school environment particularly, but I don’t think they will be able to keep up academically at this point.
The school have had plenty of autistic children in the early years currently and previously and are very welcoming.
The reason I haven’t listened to the professionals really, is that they have spent very little time with my child so are basing assumptions really around autism and speech and language delay in general.

However, I wasn’t aware of the difficulty to move from mainstream to special school.
As I mentioned, we weren’t keen on the special schools but there is another autism focussed school near us which we liked, it starts from age 7 not 5. Would it also be difficult to get into a school like that after being in mainstream, do you know?

I was going to say virtually word for word what @saraclara has said.

Also this
If multiple professionals are gently advising you to reconsider then I'd be inclined to listen to be honest.
Special school places are like gold dust in my authority. No-one has specialist provision suggested to them without very good reason.

You have the right to choose mainstream, but I'd go and have a look with an open mind first. So many thousands of families across the country wish they had the opportunity to have your choice.

I have worked within SEN schools for years. Lots of parents want children to start in mainstream school with support and it can work in reception, but then once the demands of sitting down desk work starts the child can’t cope, not only that but they have missed out on specialist learning opportunities for a couple of years. It can take some families longer to adjust to their child’s disability.

I have autism in my family and if your child has been diagnosed at nursery that is not that common and they must have clear autistic traits. I think it might help if you explain what ‘gets on well’ at nursery means.
In the kindest way I do think some parents hope by putting their children in mainstream they will give them their best hope of being assimilated with main stream population but it’s not always going to work out that way. Primary is tough on all kids socially but a child with significant autistic traits and is behind academically - I am not sure how that is going to work.

The professionals asking you ‘if you’re sure’ are really saying you need to rethink your plans.
They’re not officially allowed to tell you what to do - but this is them saying what you’re choosing isn’t right for your child.

They’re professionals in their field for a reason and as other posters have said, once you’re in a mainstream school it could take potentially years to get out. This is not a situation you want to find yourself in, if your child is struggling.

My DS (in final year of nursery) also has a speech delay and is awaiting the final diagnosis of ASD after seeing a parade of professionals, mostly once or twice before we're bounced further down the diagnostic pathway. I've asked about special schools and been categorically told we shouldn't consider them as the chances of getting in are so slim.

I'd go with your gut though, as you know your child best, and I wouldn't have thought you'd have the same issues moving schools if there's one that starts at age 7 unless it's got an infant school as its feeder school (there's a few like that around here, I'd never heard of it before, the concept is bizarre to me).

I’m going to go against the grain and say follow your gut. IME, professionals only ever see a snapshot of your child and you know them best. I have three DC with ASD, one who was academically behind as had co-morbid speech and language disorder and DCD. It was assumed when they started school, they would go to a special school, but I didn’t think that would be best. My child had no behavioural problems / meltdowns and I thought being with MS peers would be beneficial.

He had a very good EHCP which gave him all the support he would need and I never regretted my decision. Secondary school, I knew he would be better off in specialist provision so that is where he is now. I have found that special schools have lower academic expectations but they are good for therapies and managing anxiety.

To have an EHC plan already in place nearly a year before they start school is unusual and suggests a very high level of need. I really would listen to the professionals here.

What sort of provision is listed in the plan? Can the school meet them all?

What’s the specialist setting starting at 7-that’s unusual, too.

IME professionals take presumption of mainstream very very seriously - there are only a handful of special schools in my city, while I see and hear of so many children who would benefit from a special school place.

Have you visited the special school? Ultimately of course it is your choice though.

ASD kids in mainstream can often do better in SEN schools as they will have a support system geared towards them & lessons are often with other students with similar academic abilities. SEN schools will also support with getting your child practical skills that mainstream schools won’t do - eg how to use utensils, how to cook, sport / fitness tailored to them. Also Mainstream education can cause anxiety due to bullying etc & when anxiety appears and you want a transfer you are very unlikely to get it.

To give you an example I have 5 ASD nephews. 3 went to SEN schools. All three of them live independantly and 2 are are working and supporting themselves. The 2 that went to mainstream were, in the old language, more higher functioning, but anxiety and depression caused by horrendous bullying has led to such crippling insecurities that they really struggle. Neither of them will ever live independantly and because my Sil refused SEN whenever she asks for help the fact that they went to a mainstream school is held against them.

Really appreciate the answers and so helpful to hear how it’s turned out for others. To answer the questions, I say getting on well at nursery as enjoying the busy nursery environment, getting involved in (some of) the organised nursery activities, even playing with the other kids on occasion.
@ittakes2 no diagnosis yet but that’s purely down to waitlists, it’s blindingly obvious to me but no idea if it is to other people.
@zen1 this actually sounds similar to DC in terms of behaviour apart from needing to have a run around quite often.
Also, just to add no specialist place has yet been offered to us at this point so I imagine that would be another battle in itself.

Just to add, my DC spent 3 mornings a week at a SEN nursery and two at a mainstream. He was visibly happier and more interactive at the MS one.

@Shinyandnew1 i wouldn’t say very high need but we’ve pushed and hired a very experienced lawyer, ignored the LA who said to wait to closer to school age to apply.
EHCP states 1-2-1 funded by LA and not by general school SEN budget plus x hours of certain therapeutic input. I understand this is rare and have the lawyer to thank really.

@Ambern7 specialist setting from age 7 is autism specific special needs school. After researching there are quite a few like that around the country. Perhaps because it takes that long to get an autism diagnosis, because I believe you do need one for a school like this.
@PeekabooAtTheZoo no feeder school for the one starting at 7 it seems.
@MilkshakesBringAllTheCoosToTheYard we have visited the two SEN schools in our area which start from reception and didn’t feel either was completely right for DC.

If you get specialist provision offered it, snatch their hands off, you probably won't get offered it again, they will say your dc can manage in mainstream school.

Can I just ask how you applied to get your child into specialist at secondary, and was it difficult?
My son is 8 and we are just waiting for his diagnosis and the the head is starting his EHCP.
He's OK in mainstream primary but there is no way he will cope with the noise at secondary.

It’s certainly not what I would do. It’s very hard to get a space in an SEN school (I’m currently fighting for one!) and it’s much easier to move the other way around. SEN schools also get a lot more funding per pupil, so even taking into account the ECHP funding it’s unlikely she will be getting the same support. Not to mention - sensory rooms, SLT/OT provision, expertise of staff etc.