Not allowed siblings at my sons nativity play .. including my breast fed baby??

[WinnieLovett]

My daughter is 4 months old and breastfeeding.

My two other sons are involved in the school nativity play. The school will be having two performers one at 2:30 and one at 7:00.

I have been informed that the school has a ‘no sibling rule’ to watching so I will not be allowed to bring my daughter. The issue is these times are both when she has milk.

I was also told by the head that she may make noise and interrupt the performance !!

Really sad as I don’t want to miss it ! But do not feel happy leaving my baby at these times!

I think it’s fair enough not to allow siblings. It is often such a squeeze in a school hall. The play is only an hour or so. You have to think of other people wanting to enjoy the special moment. Precious times!

The baby is 4 months - not 4 days. I’m sure they can manage half an hour without a feed. And no, not everyone takes a crying baby out straight away. As evidenced by my poor sisters wedding and even the cinema at 8pm on Saturday - where a small baby cried through half the film and ruined it for everyone else.

If parents can’t get babysitters then they just have to suck it up and not go.

Totally unfair on parents who Havnt brought other kids and even more unfair of the children performing if the whole thing is ruined by babies crying and toddlers running around.

4 months is too old, especially as you say that the performance is at times when she’s not happy anyway - if it was nap time and she’d be asleep in a sling I could understand, but not if she’s going to be grumpy.

My daughter was 6 days old when my son’s nativity was on, and she was 3 weeks early - I was questioned taking her in because siblings aren’t allowed. They did make an exception for me because she was so tiny and was breastfeeding hourly pretty much, and that when the tickets were released I thought I’d still be pregnant! She slept the whole way through, as newborns tend to - a 4 month old isn’t likely to sleep through it and is more likely to be babbling. Even if she’s not crying she’ll be making noises and disturbing the children.

Do you film other peoples kids in the park?

Restricting access to breastfed babies is pretty shocking imo, it is an issue of restriction of women.

Obviously a school is not a business, so is able to discriminate if they like, but it is rubbish.

This is why I'm a bit at OP and her baby being her third... it's not like it's her first or second and she's not sure what to do.

I think the school has encountered these issues before, so OP seems to be getting advice what to do from fellow MNers or if she's BU or school is BU. OP seems to have expected us all to say "oh school are BVU your baby should be allowed!".

A business that says ‘no children’ is still not restricting women or breastfed children.
Are pubs late at night treating breastfeeding women unfairly then? 🙄

I brought my son when he was a baby to watch his sisters in their assemblies a couple of times, but invariably ended up watching through the door outside as as soon as it started he would start to be noisy. It was frustrating for me, as I missed the assembly, but there was no way I’d have let him disrupt it and distract the children. I was there to support behind the glass doors.

After missing a few performances, I ended up leaving him at home with someone so I could watch properly only to find that someone else’s dc would be noisy or crying and they would drown out the performance,, completely ignored by their parents. It was hugely frustrating and you’d have to be pretty rude and entitled to stay in the room with a noisy baby/child, but plenty did.

I support this rule, 100%. I wish it was in place when my dc were little!

I swear half these dilemmas only exist on MN.

It's not discrimination. A 4 month old doesn't need feeding that often, and parents of 2/3/4 year olds will equally need to find someone else to watch them during the performance. There are two performances and two parents here, don't see what the issue is really.

No it’s not 😂 it’s an event where under 16s aren’t allowed. Would you claim indirect sex discrimination if OP wanted to go to a concert where children weren’t allowed? Or to a night club? It’s nothing to do with the breastfeeding or not, it’s the baby who isn’t allowed in regardless of how they’re fed.

There's 120 kids in each year group at my school, all crammed into a fairly small dining hall that is no longer fit for purpose really.

The parents can just about be accommodated without breaking fire regs, no way could they allow siblings of any age.

They’re aren’t restricting access don’t be ridiculous.

The OP isn’t forced to go to the nativity. She isn’t in prison or locked away somewhere. She has the choice to attend the nativity or stay with the baby. 🙄🙄

But then why not bottle fed?,…..and on and on it goes

Ridiculous…..of course siblings should be able to go….for Gods sake….schools are for kids, families have kids….not everyone can palm off a baby for an hour plus…. It’s not the Royal Shakespeare Company…it’s a little nativity play…I would def. see the head and complain.

😂😂😂

Don't see what the problem is if your bf then leave some expressed milk with whoever is watching her.

I know of a headteacher who wrote in the school newsletter that siblings should only attend in very exceptional circumstances, that those families would have to sit at the back near the doors, and that if babies or children made a noise the play would be stopped until they left the hall.

Hardly any turned up.

OP - just feed baby before you go out and stop feeling entitled to do what you want.

It’s very simple. You leave the baby with someone else for an hour or so, or you stay at home yourself! Them’s the options,

It’s not discrimination at all. Plenty of mothers, even while breastfeeding, have managed to leave their babies with someone else for an hour.

Schools have to prioritise the children it has a responsibility for. The children that actually attend and who are taking part in, what is to them, a major school event, are far more important than a parent’s convenience.

It’s not much to ask that the audience sit still and quietly for the duration of the play.

Because a bottle is not surgically attached to a woman's body?

I'm not saying the breastfeeding is in any way superior, just that it presents an issue for access for woman, because you can't pass your tits to someone else for half an hour.

Its not just a "little nativity play" though is it.

The poor kids will have spent weeks rehearsing and maybe feeling very nervous about their part, only to be drowned out by a screaming baby. Just because some people are selfish and think the world revolves around them.

in this day and age

Pretty sure this refers to increased promotion of breastfeeding being interpreted as a breastfeeding woman trumps everyone else. I say this because of the reference to the 4mo baby usually being unhappy at 2.30 and 7pm. So OP wants to have a happy baby at 2.30 and 7pm, wants to breastfeed, wants to see her other DC’s nativity play, and is sore that she can’t have everything she wants - never mind the disruption or discomfort or inconvenience ti anyone else.

My mind boggles sometimes at the things some posters need random people on the internet to point out to them. How can the OP not have thought this through for the 3 seconds required to think about other people!

Ours have set it at 18:00 and said no kids at all.

Utter bullshit. A lot of parents here don't have childcare.