Not allowed siblings at my sons nativity play .. including my breast fed baby??

[WinnieLovett]

My daughter is 4 months old and breastfeeding.

My two other sons are involved in the school nativity play. The school will be having two performers one at 2:30 and one at 7:00.

I have been informed that the school has a ‘no sibling rule’ to watching so I will not be allowed to bring my daughter. The issue is these times are both when she has milk.

I was also told by the head that she may make noise and interrupt the performance !!

Really sad as I don’t want to miss it ! But do not feel happy leaving my baby at these times!

I'm a teacher and honestly the amount of times small children have ruined a performance. I'm sorry you feel like you 'shouldn't have to be put in this position' but there are other people to consider here, such as other parents who have come to see their children, who don't want it interrupting. Be respectful of that.

The Equalities Act literally says it is discriminatory to treat a woman disfavourably because she is breastfeeding. So I'm pretty clear it is discrimination.

I'm aware that only paying businesses are covered by the act, so there's no reason a school cannot choose to discriminate (except, y'know, a moral reason).

I have a 2 and 3.5 year old and am fine with the no sibling rule, however I’d also be fine if they said ‘babes in arms’ were allowed, I don’t think you’re being unreasonable OP.

Well done that school for that policy. Concentration on those children performing after practicing so hard for weeks and their teachers and others watching. You've got a long time in the education system, there will be many things you don't like or agree with.

She’s not being treated disfavourably though because NO siblings and babies are allowed in. It isn’t “all siblings, all bottle-fed babies, but no breastfed babies or their mothers”. It’s a blanket rule so not discriminatory.

@Stompythedinosaur The Equalities Act literally says it is discriminatory to treat a woman disfavourably because she is breastfeeding. So I'm pretty clear it is discrimination.

That is not at all what is happening though.
A 4 week old can’t attend, a 4 year old can’t attend, a bottle fed 4 month old can’t attend and OP’s breastfed 4 month old can’t attend.
No one is treating OP disfavourably because she’s breastfeeding, in fact the whole problem arose because OP is annoying that she is being treated exactly like everyone else.

Where is the pretty clear discrimination then?

Unfortunately, @WinnieLovett, I’d guess that your children’s school has had problems with parents who have let their children disrupt the nativity play in the past. I have read horror stories on here about parents letting their child go down to the front and try to get on the stage, or letting them scream and shout, so that the children who are trying to perform are completely drowned out.

My dses’ primary school started running a crèche, and they also filmed the play and sold the videos, to try to make things easier for parents who had pre-school age children.

The Equalities Act literally says it is discriminatory to treat a woman disfavourably because she is breastfeeding. So I'm pretty clear it is discrimination.

She's not being treated 'disfavourably'. She being treated the same as every single other adult who comes to watch the performance 🙄

The Equalities Act literally says it is discriminatory to treat a woman disfavourably because she is breastfeeding. So I'm pretty clear it is discrimination.

But she’s not being treated disfavourably because she’s breastfeeding. She’s being treated in exactly the same way as every other mother who has a sibling younger than school age. The breastfeeding is irrelevant.

I haven't been able to watch DD nativity yet in person, the last 2 were recorded and sent home due to covid. I will be seriously fucked off if I miss her lines because someone brings their baby. It's half an hour. Feed baby before and get your sister to push him/her in the pram around the school car park if needs be whilst you watch. How do you think your older child would feel if you missed their special moment because their sibling has started crying and you're busy unbuttoning your shirt or whatever to start feeding.

She's being treated disfavourably because a breastfeeding mother literally cannot leave a child, therefore by not allowing access a section of women are being prevented for having access.

She's not. No other parent is being asked to choose between their child having free access to food and drink and being able to attend.

There’s nothing special about you or your baby. You are merely one of many parents who want to see their child! Your selfishness and entitlement is embarrassing!

Oh for goodness sake. Just get on with it and stop being so silly. She’s not a brand new baby I’m sure at 4 months she can have a slightly earlier feed or take a bottle with expressed milk. You’ll have to be flexible and find a solution if you want to attend. Crying babies and toddlers are so off putting for the performers who will be nervous and have put in tons of work.

Restricting access to breastfed babies is pretty shocking imo, it is an issue of restriction of women.

Its quite simple - get someone else to give the baby some expressed milk. I breastfed three DC, and I got them used to taking expressed milk in a bottle, to make sure, I could leave them with someone else if I had to.

Yabu just feed baby before you go to the really short school play. Mountain into a molehill this is.

Oh just stop, this is hilarious and I'm absolutely sure you don't mean to be 😂😂😂

So what do you propose? Sue the school for discrimination? Good luck with that

@Stompythedinosaur She's being treated disfavourably because a breastfeeding mother literally cannot leave a child

Of course they can, don’t be ridiculous! Plenty of mums go out for the afternoon, out to get their hair done and even work while breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding does not mean you are surgically attached to the baby and can’t leave them for 1 hour!

She's being treated disfavourably because a breastfeeding mother literally cannot leave a child, therefore by not allowing access a section of women are being prevented for having access

That is blatantly not true. The nativity play is likely to last less than an hour, in a location a few minutes from the OPs home. It is optional to attend.

Even so, the school have considered parents as much as they can and are offering an evening performance for those who have difficulty finding childcare or who are working in the day. The OP has the opportunity to go to that. She’s not being made to miss out on anything.

They can...it's not an absolute.

But she is not being treated unfavourably because she is breastfeeding! She's being asked to abide by the same rules as everyone else. It's absurd to claim this is discrimination.

That’s not the schools issue if OP doesn’t want to leave her baby for an hour. She isn’t forced to go. She isn’t being discriminated against. It’s the OP choice to attend or not. She’s just on her high horse and thinks the world should revolver around her and her baby.

Honestly some of the thick and entitled replies on here are astounding. I’m surprised some of you can get through daily tasks.

It might be indirect discrimination on grounds of sex (as no siblings policy is very likely to negatively affect women more than men) or maternity (definitely affects new mums more than everyone else). But “proportionate means to legitimate aim” can be used as a defence against discrimination anyway. Saying no siblings allowed is the only way to ensure those on stage won’t be impacted by crying babies and toddlers, and the likely only way to ensure there is sufficient space for all children to have an adult there.

This is the sort of comment that really pisses me off. The whole world doesn't have to revolve around breastfeeding babies.
I too have seen school plays ruined by noisy kids. It's not fair on the children taking part, who get distracted, or the parents who actually want to see the play.