Not allowed siblings at my sons nativity play .. including my breast fed baby??

[WinnieLovett]

My daughter is 4 months old and breastfeeding.

My two other sons are involved in the school nativity play. The school will be having two performers one at 2:30 and one at 7:00.

I have been informed that the school has a ‘no sibling rule’ to watching so I will not be allowed to bring my daughter. The issue is these times are both when she has milk.

I was also told by the head that she may make noise and interrupt the performance !!

Really sad as I don’t want to miss it ! But do not feel happy leaving my baby at these times!

Honestly OP as I said before a sling and a big cardigan or jacket and I bet nobody will notice 😉

I love all the people that are like 'just go anyway and do x, y, z'... you wont be let in lol.

OP is going to feel a right tit when shes turned away at the door and making a scene will get her zero sympathy from the 75% of other parents who all followed the rules and are allowed in.

Yes, there seem to be a remarkable number of people unable to see any possible distinction between a breastfeeding baby and a random sibling.
Personally I'm also a bit baffled by the general outrage at the notion of an actual baby at a nativity.

It’s always hectic and busy getting parents in for any kind of school concert nobody noticed my babies (aged about 3 months when I did this) in the stretchy wrap !

And there you have the perfect reason for why she shouldn't be brought to the performance. A grizzly baby will absolutely drown out the quiet one-liners that most of the children will have.

I think it’s fair. Nothing to do with breastfeeding. The number of nativities that I attended and couldn’t hear my child because of a crying sibling in the audience. Also school halls are so hot and crowded. Just feed baby beforehand.

Same dilemma here. DH can't attend because of work commitments and grandparents live too far away. I've called in a favour and asked a mum I know from DC's nursery who lives very near the school to wheel the baby round the park while she walks her dog (I'll express some milk but hoping baby will nap throughout). It's not ideal but it will do. Tbh I'd be perfectly happy if I could leave the baby with DH but he'll be at work. With two children, I think it's even more useful if they'll take a bottle of expressed milk otherwise I'm not sure how I'd balance everything to make sure the older child doesn't miss out.

I'm astonished by this, and by so many people saying it's standard. When my DC were little, siblings (older and younger, and babies) were all welcome at their Nativity plays etc. The only problem for some parents is that performances were always after lunch, so it was tricky for families with two working parents (though there weren't many of those, it's true). This was in the 2000s. Prep school Nativity Plays are carnage anyway - children forget their lines, fall over, spot their parents in the audience, etc, etc, etc. A squawking baby is hardly a distraction, never mind one who's being fed.

This is my first time posting on here and hoped it would be a supportive community.

some of the comments have been very helpful and made me look at the whole picture and see all sides. I will try and attend and leave my daughter ( after a feed) with my sister if she is happy, otherwise I will not attend , my husband will go in the evening. Due to safe guarding the school will not allow filming which is fair enough.

I am concerned with some of the rude comments. You can get your point across without being nasty about it! All I did was ask a question.

Thanks for those that’s gave constructive criticism I appreciate your time.

Not every parent has common sense though, that’s why head teachers end up making blanket rules.

YABU.

Last year’s recording of the native performance at my DS’s nursery was completely ruined by a screaming baby. Couldn’t hear anything else. It’s 30 mins. Feed early and leave the baby with someone else.

Oh God, no filming now, either. I despair, really. Everyone filmed my DC's plays. I remember one dad who was very proud of his gigantic camcorder.

Let's hope dc is not slurpy 😅

these things are always crap and overlong. You’ll be sick of the bloody things by the time they’re in Secondary

Good idea but……. There are kids who are fostered or who are adopted where that would be dangerous for them. They could be identified by bio family, or god knows what else etc.

Oh, that's rubbish! Even if you weren't breastfeeding, it's not as though everyone can just get someone to babysit for the nativity.

A play about a baby but babies are banned! Babies were always allowed at my children's and grandchildren's schools and it was never an issue. Very different to a restless toddler but I always found a packet of chocolate buttons solved that one.

If there is someone who can have her while you go. Wake her up a little earlier so she feeds earlier. I had to do this with DD so I could take son to nursery. Or he would have been late. Hopefully with the earlier start baby will sleep while you're away from her. Then she will want feeding on waking. Have you tried her with a bottle? I used to express and have a bottle prepared. They always took it if they were really hungry. BF until 7 months with both.

Your baby needs feeding then you feed her because the school will be breaking the law by stopping you from BF your baby.

"The Equality Act 2010 says that it is discrimination to treat a woman unfavourably because she is breastfeeding. It applies to anyone providing services, benefits, facilities and premises to the public, public bodies, further and higher education bodies and association. Service providers include most organisations that deal directly with the public."

Maternity Action

Harsh comments! It's always been babes in arms permitted at the nativities that I've been too. Personally I've never found those babies distracting.
What I do find distracting is the parents who insist on obscuring everyone else's view by filming the entire performance on a massive Ipad, which they probably won't even watch again.

OK, that is a fair point.

All this "take a sling and no one will notice". How small are your babies?!? Unlikely it wouldn't be noticed.

@Irridescantshimmmer is she being treated unfavourably though as the rule is no siblings, so not referring to the mum

i feel that in this day and age I shouldn’t be put in this position.

What has ‘this day and age’ got to do with it?
Its really not the schools fault your baby apparently only can’t be left specifically at 2:30 or 7.

4 months isn’t even a newborn.

There’s always one younger child who talks or squawks all the way through it - with one parent who won’t take them out because they don’t want to miss it. And it puts off the more nervous kids and generally spoils the experience for everyone. And, yes, it’s nice for parents to watch - but these are ultimately for the benefit of the children. So the No sibling rule is fair enough.