Not allowed siblings at my sons nativity play .. including my breast fed baby??

[WinnieLovett]

My daughter is 4 months old and breastfeeding.

My two other sons are involved in the school nativity play. The school will be having two performers one at 2:30 and one at 7:00.

I have been informed that the school has a ‘no sibling rule’ to watching so I will not be allowed to bring my daughter. The issue is these times are both when she has milk.

I was also told by the head that she may make noise and interrupt the performance !!

Really sad as I don’t want to miss it ! But do not feel happy leaving my baby at these times!

You are completely missing the point.

It’s nothing to do with breastfeeding. If the baby needs to be with mum then the mum can stay at home, or outside of the school.

The mum is not obliged to attend the show. No one will force her. She won’t be held at gun point. Nobody is denying the baby access to its milk. It is the mums choice to attend alone or stay at home with the baby. That’s it. It shouldn’t even be up for debate.

Honestly it’s not rocket science. So many entitled idiots.

Exactly @FlissyPaps

It's so so simple

I genuinely cannot understand why so many on this thread just don't understand it.

They see the words 'banned', 'breastfed' and 'baby' and lose all sense of comprehension it seems.

In fact the only person denying the baby access to milk would be the mother, if she insisted on attending the nativity.

But again, possibly too simple for some to understand.

“It’s nothing to do with breastfeeding. If the baby needs to be with mum then the mum can stay at home, or outside of the school.

The mum is not obliged to attend the show. No one will force her. She won’t be held at gun point. Nobody is denying the baby access to its milk. It is the mums choice to attend alone or stay at home with the baby. That’s it. It shouldn’t even be up for debate.

Honestly it’s not rocket science. So many entitled idiots.”

So entitled that they get indignant even when the bleeding obvious is pointed out to them. But of course they’re special and the rules don’t apply to them… 🙄

I mean, my dc are plenty older now, but no, at 4 months I was still feeding on demand.

Glad to know you think I was "doing it wrong". Astonishing the dc have made it the high school, really.

If only I'd known that the actual god of parenting was available to dispense advice on mn. I'm sure I could have learnt so much.

So, "no siblings" is a blanket restriction. A blanket restriction can be discriminatory if it disproportionately effects a protected group, in this case a section of women.

The school can still do it if they choose.

I think the entitlement is the adults who want to prioritise their own right to be undisturbed above some dc's wish to have their parent come to their play.

Some discriminations are necessary, to protect people's rights, such as the rights of the children in the class in this case. Being a woman with extra kids is not a protected characteristic. And it's entitled and selfish to think because you had more than one child, that you have the right to interrupt the whole classes work. Only someone extremely entitled and selfish would put themselves above 30 odd other children. You either find a babysitter or you don't go. It really is that simple. And it should not even need to be explained. Some places you can't take babies and children. That is what society is about.

The no siblings rule is usually introduced for the benefit of the children performing, not any of the adults.

Move on. There’s no room,
and/or if they make an exception for you everyone will be whinging about their child: toddler/‘baby with the special circs… and yes your baby may put the kids off or make a distraction so just deal with it.

If your argument is that applying a policy of not having siblings to an event is indirectly discriminatory because it puts women at a particular disadvantage (because they are more likely to have caring responsibilities) then a) that’s got nothing to do with breastfeeding specifically, it would apply to women with the additional care of any child and b) it’s legally capable of being justifiable as being a proportionate means of achieving a legitimate aim. This would probably be dressed up as “promoting the educational enhancement of the students by providing a quiet environment for their performance” or something but ultimately comes down to it not being fair on the students to have their performance disrupted by there being shitloads of pre-school children in the audience.

Breastfeeding isn’t a protected characteristic under the equality act and there is no legal prohibition on indirectly discriminating against breastfeeding women specifically.

there is a specific provision about unfavourable treatment of bf women but that isn’t the same thing as indirect discontinuation, and doesn’t give a positive right to take a baby somewhere you otherwise wouldn’t be able to.

Discrimination, not discontinuation sorry

The no siblings rule is usually introduced for the benefit of the children performing, not any of the adults.

Quite. And it's really sad that some posters are not getting this. That it's about the children performing, not about the adult themselves. That they see it as being all about them and not the children whose work it is, says a lot about their priorities. They can't even put their own needs and wants aside for children.

Illegal.

Breastfeeding is an exemption under the equality act 2010 they can't not allow you entry with her full stop.

Ignore people who just tell you to find another way, you don't have to.

Breastfeeding isn’t a protected characteristic under the equality act and there is no legal prohibition on indirectly discriminating against breastfeeding women specifically.

Not a specific characteristic no but it is protected. We even had to let people bring their breastfeeding child into uni if they wanted to. Illegal to say no. People talk so much shit.

Not when the rule states no children, point blank. It's the same as places that are adults only, like strip clubs or concerts etc. It is not a protected characteristic, RTFT where others have explained this. Adults only functions or performances are legal.

Yeah that'll stand up in court. Adult only function at a school comparable to a night club? Be serious. @JennyNotFromTheBlock

It's an analogy, @britneyisfree . What I'm saying is that it's ridiculous to say it's illegal when it ever so clearly is not illegal. It's legal to have adults only functions or places. In fact, it's a legislated right.

No is seeking legal advice or taking a school to court over a half-hour nativity play, FFS. And no one is discriminating against breastfeeding mothers. The fact of being breastfed in general isn’t a Get Out of Jail (Or Into Nativity) Free card: OP has said the baby is cranky at this time, what if she’s crying/screaming/“fussing” (almost worse than screaming – most parents will exit at screaming, but merrily disturb everyone for yonks with ongoing fussing), she’s not breastfeeding then, is she? She’s crying.

By the “but breastfeeding!” defence brigade logic, OP should also be allowed up on stage to do it. No one can stop her! It’s the law!

What on earth possesses people to leave comments like this. Imagine writing this and thinking you should be giving out parenting advice.

OP is thinking about being there for her child who is performing. She is trying to navigate the needs of her baby and being there for her older child. A lot of posters seem to be missing this in their rush to give OP a bit of a kicking.

I'm sorry OP. What a frustrating dilemma. You'd think they'd do one show for the whole family and one show just for the specific adults who could leave other children. I hope it works out with your sister so you get to see your little ones perform x

When the Olympics were on, babies weren’t allowed to come because of this. But loads of us had tickets and a baby. There was an outcry and we all went with our babies and mine didn’t squeak once. I think breastfeeding babies shouldn’t count under the sibling rule. And if I was a Head, I’d have staff on hand to help seat people with babies at the end of an aisle so they could leave if baby crying. If OP thinks it’s ok to take her baby, I don’t have a problem with this. Toddlers, no! They are noisy!

Also, I wish some people would check their privilege. Not all of us have siblings and carers on tap. Same with the Christmas ads at this time of year, some of us don’t have relatives.

Absolutely this!

Sorry, but you're being unreasonable and ridiculous.