Not allowed siblings at my sons nativity play .. including my breast fed baby??

[WinnieLovett]

My daughter is 4 months old and breastfeeding.

My two other sons are involved in the school nativity play. The school will be having two performers one at 2:30 and one at 7:00.

I have been informed that the school has a ‘no sibling rule’ to watching so I will not be allowed to bring my daughter. The issue is these times are both when she has milk.

I was also told by the head that she may make noise and interrupt the performance !!

Really sad as I don’t want to miss it ! But do not feel happy leaving my baby at these times!

I would be upset if I went to watch my child and a baby was crying the whole way through. That is why I agree with this rule of no siblings. I once watched a little boy trying to get on the stage and screaming the whole time he was pulled away, it spoiled the whole performance and the children on stage looked unsettled and upset as hardly anyone could hear the lines they had spent ages learning .

And she's showing that rules are meant to be abided by. I say good for her.

YABU and I am astonished at people claiming that this is discrimination. The school are trying to make sure that there is enough room for the children to have someone there to watch and to stop younger kids ruining it. I find it so irritating when kids are making noise and the parent doesn’t take them out. If you can’t change the time of the feed or make another arrangement don’t go, but it is sly on the other child that you aren’t prepared to make any effort for either performance

Unfortunately you are not able to go with your young baby I expect because of the behaviour of some other parents in the past. I've read several threads about unreasonable behaviour of parents at nativity plays on MN, and no doubt many others have happened.

Please don't blame the school.

Ouch. I wouldn't have felt so sanguine about that (though I'd have caved too). I only ever had parties at home (pass the parcel and cake type things) so it was easy to accommodate all the siblings/parents/grandparents/dogs. Happy days!

It’s half an hour maybe the child in the play wants their mums attention . Even walking out will disrupt people .

You are joking? Breastfeeding mums cannot leave their babies for an hour, ever? What an absolute load of rubbish!!

…. if you can’t manage that you’re doing it wrong.

Actually they can, and I frequently man the door at ours. You would be stopped.

I’m with the school on this one, it ruins the performance for the children and all the other parents to have younger siblings making noise. Just feed the baby early Or express some milk. Or get someone to take baby out in the car/ pram so they sleep. Breastfeeds don’t need to happen on the dot, surely there’s times when you need to adjust.

What's your DH solution?

I have four kids and have attended numerous nativities over the years. The head banned siblings four years ago and I was so glad. Honestly the number of people who wouldn’t take their crying kids out or let them use their Youtube on their with the volume on was absolutely unbelievable. The final straw was when one absolute dickhead let her toddler wander on the fucking stage and take the baby Jesus out of the manger. She was just laughing at how inquisitive her little man was while everyone else was horrified.

Lots of the kids only have one line. Imagine if some baby was screaming at that exact moment and you didn’t get to hear your child do their line.

If you really can’t leave the baby then the school might let you come to a dress rehearsal. Ours did one year with me when I had a toddler and a newborn and my husband was working away so nobody would have been able to come and watch my elder two.

it’s not appropriate for anyone to eat or drink during performances so why is she any different

oh please 😂 I’m Team School here and hope the OP can sort something out with her sister so she can go, but BF can’t be compared to rocking up with a Greggs or a share bag of Dorritos

Of course a breastfeeding baby of 4months can be looked after by an experienced babysitter (paid or family or a friend) for the travel time to and from plus the time of the nativity play. And before you say rubbish I know because I’ve exclusively breastfed, co-slept and done attachment parenting. The aspect this breastfeeding mother doesn’t think of is the nappy change that can be required directly after feeding. Does she expect to stand up and disrupt others to go and change the nappy or does she think she’ll do this on her lap with the smell and noise?

You go in the afternoon, your husband goes at night. Or you both go at night. Your daughter is 4 months, you've already said these are her cranky times, so no, I don't believe she should be there- you'll be concentrating on feeding and soothing her more than the play anyway. Either express a bottle, or if she formula fed set your sister up with that. It's an hour. I agree with the no sibling policy, because a rambunctious toddler, or a grizzly baby does reduce the enjoyment of all the other parents and I'm sure you'd feel the same if you couldn't hear anything due to another child. You can make it work if you choose to, if you choose to martyr yourself to it and are saying that no one else can possible feed or look after your child for an hour, then that's a choice you're making and I'm sure your older children will be pretty disappointed. It'll be what, an hour?

I'll be sure to tell him 😉

These are only usually about 30 or 40 mins long. By that age you should be able to just offer a feed a bit early and she'll be fine.

I bf both mine and had to leave one for 2 hours at only 1 month old for the funeral of a friend. It wasn't the end of the world i just fed before & after.

Put her in a sling, they won’t even notice 🤣 I better double check the rules on siblings at my sons nativity as I’ll have a 1 week old too

I’m sure you could change the feeding time to 30 mins earlier
Your sons would be disappointed if you were not there

TBH nothing worse than going to watch a nativity with a cranky sibling lol

Definitely think breastfed baby should be an exception. You're still basically one person at this point! I wouldn't be happy leaving my baby to cry for milk for more than 30 seconds, let alone 30 minutes!

Absolutely disagree. The OP said that these are her 'cranky times' so why would that be fair on all the children performing, to have their show interrupted by a potentially screaming baby?! The baby is 4 months old - when my baby was 5 months old, I was back at work full time!

You’ve misread my post, we’re on the same side! I was quoting whoever said “a breastfeeding mother literally cannot leave a child”.

You’d prefer your older child to be the one whose mummy didn’t turn up?

Sorry - it was too Stompythedinosaur I was replying. I got it mixed up in the quoting :-)

Ha, no problem! I genuinely don’t understand why a baby can’t be left unfed for an hour (unless for medical reasons, which OP hasn’t mentioned)

There are loads of places you can't take a breastfed baby, simply because they are a baby. I couldn't take mine to a MRI scan for example. Or to the Summer Ball. Its not discrimination... its about places not being a suitable place for children. And the school has said its not suitable for babies/toddlers.