Not allowed siblings at my sons nativity play .. including my breast fed baby??

[WinnieLovett]

My daughter is 4 months old and breastfeeding.

My two other sons are involved in the school nativity play. The school will be having two performers one at 2:30 and one at 7:00.

I have been informed that the school has a ‘no sibling rule’ to watching so I will not be allowed to bring my daughter. The issue is these times are both when she has milk.

I was also told by the head that she may make noise and interrupt the performance !!

Really sad as I don’t want to miss it ! But do not feel happy leaving my baby at these times!

As a parent who went to nine school Christmas concerts that were ALL drowned out by a parent too selfish to nip out for a few minutes, I am 100% team school on this one. You have the entire 23.5 hours to feed your baby. You're not a victim FGS.

Not having childcare is a parenting fail, not something the rest of society should be compensating for.

It should be basic Parenting 101 to know that times will arise when childcare is needed. Illness, work travel, events like the nativity, caregiving for others, whatever. If parents have failed to plan for unexpected scenarios and failed to cultivate babysitters, or make mutually supportive arrangements with neighbours, or find professional minders who can do occasional sitting, that is on them.

Same with the financial aspect -- being able to afford ad hoc child sitting is a rock bottom basic, like affording diapers or food.

If they haven't bothered to line up care, they will miss out on things AND will be in trouble should one or both parents be ill or injured, hospitalized, unexpectedly called away, etc. but that is no one's fault save their own.

Wow that says more about her than anyone else . What a miserable moo

Express milk and leave her a bottle with whoever looks after her! Not the end of the world for 1 hour

Not having childcare is a parenting fail

WTAF?

I had no childcare, ever, when my DC were small. That's because I was a SAHM and our nearest family were 300 miles away. I didn't want to leave them with random strangers. How is that a "parenting fail"?

Totally agree with this. At 4 months you should be able to flex a bit!

Social media didn't exist when my children were little, thank God. Neither did internet phones, ipads etc.

She's being asked to abide by the same rules as everyone else. It's absurd to claim this is discrimination.

A blanket rule can be indirect discrimination if it affects one protected group more than everyone else. Eg, if a school said that all boys must be clean shaven they would be indirectly discriminating against those who can’t remove hair for religious reasons. Or a “no jewellery” policy which stops Sikh people from wearing a kara.

However, if the “no jewellery” policy is for (genuine) safety reasons, it could be classed as “proportionate means to legitimate aim” and so the discrimination would be lawful.

Keen as I am on boarding, even my children didn't go until they were 13.

People on this thread are so miserable, all of our school events allow siblings and I love that there are babies older kids and yonger kids . We all know each others kids by now even the babies and nobody would care if any toddler is making a bit of a fuss . It happens . It’s a kids nativity not a west end play

It's actually very sad that you feel you cannot adjust your feeding routine or make your baby wait so that you can see your other children in their play. It's a huge deal for them and so much hard work goes into school plays. I'm suprised that watching them is not the priority here and not your other child. Saying you will not attend is unusual I think.

Sounds fair 30mins very short feed early or see if there will be video you can watch

On the contrary, good for her. Showing that she won’t be railroaded by entitled parents.

The afternoon performance is usually sibling allowed but definitely not at evening show its quite normal

Our school (primary) allows siblings...

Can’t you express some milk? If not, your baby won’t die if you feed them a little earlier or later than usual.

No, because a) that would be weird, as I haven't been to a park since my DC grew out of them; and b) I don't have anything to film even my own children with, never mind those of random strangers. It's partly that I am clearly a dinosaur. But also because schools might have changed. I knew every single family at my DC's prep schools (which were themselves like families), and I never once worried about another parent videoing my children. We all knew one another and liked one another. Why would it be a problem in this scenario? Ditto siblings, babies etc. We passed the babies and toddlers round if they started to get fractious (or took them out, if need be, but that was okay as someone else would have been recording my child's great dramatic moment as a sheep). I think the world was probably a better and happier place pre-phones and social media.

You honestly can not speak for all the other parents in the audience who “don’t care” at toddlers making a fuss. Honestly who do you think you are. The voice of reason?😂

I’d care if was watching my child perform and they were being put off or their sound was drowned out by a child in the audience crying/tantruming.

Knowing everyone else’s child’s sibling by name is my idea of hell.

It’s not being miserable, it’s having common decency, common sense and manners. A lot of posters, including yourself, seem to be lacking in.

The problem is that entitlement runs hard these days. For every person that legs it out with the sibling, umpteen others sit there just going ssshhh loudly and ineffectually or break out the bloody rice cakes.

Knowing everyone else’s child’s sibling by name is my idea of hell

Not knowing this would have been mine. I used to invite them all to the DC's birthday parties too.

We’ve all had to jiggle feeds round for older siblings (school run etc) whether breast or bottle fed.

Hats off @BoardingSchoolMater I got screwed for an extra £100 when a bunch of siblings turned up to a paid per child birthday party. All the siblings stood there boot faced at not being able to join in and I, to my lasting shame, caved and let them join in. First and last time.

You are being precious this is a normal rule for the majority of schools. Your baby will have to survive with an earlier bottle for one evening only otherwise you just don’t go.

Well, if you plan to never be away from your children, I guess it's not a fail.

But people who DO want to attend events where children aren't welcome can't whine about not being able to because "not everyone has childcare." And expect sympathy or rules changes to benefit them, because they haven't invested any time or effort in lining up babysitters.