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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think drugs and breastfeeding don't go well together.

145 replies

Sushipaws · 30/01/2008 22:14

Now, I'm not a prude, each to thier own, I don't care if people want to get wrecked at the weekend, many of my friends do. But.....

I have just got off the phone to my mate who was out at the weekend with a girl I know. The girl had a ds about 5 months ago and moved away to be nearer her parents. She was up visiting for the weekend and had left ds with her husband. They went out on Friday and Saturday night. On the Friday night she took E and Coke but said she couldn't on the Saturday night as it wouldn't be out her system by the time she bf her ds on Sunday night.

I was really shocked, surely it takes longer than one night to leave her blood stream. I told my mate I thought the girl was an idiot and very selfish. My mate said I was over reacting and she knows a few mum's who have bf and occationally taken drugs.

Some expert advice needed here, would it still be in her system?

OP posts:
LadyVictorianSqualor · 01/02/2008 11:50

dingdong it takes a hell of a lot of alcohol in your system to affect the baby though, I can't remember exact quantities now, tiktok did say somewhere about the amount of milligrams it would take, and you'd have to have been feeding your baby absolutely trolleyed to affect it, not the morning after the night before, although of course it depends on whetehr you want baby to have absolutely no alcohol in it's milk or if you're just happy to know that the little alcohol in your milk won't affect it.

twelveyeargap · 01/02/2008 12:00

Even if you fed whilst absolutely pissed, the alcohol would not have such a serious effect on a baby as cocaine passing the milk would, given that cocaine is such a strong stimulant in comparison to alcohol.

twelveyeargap · 01/02/2008 12:07

I think the thing also is, that it's not as though it's really possible to do a comprehensive study on the effects of illicit drugs on pregnancy and breastfeeding.

If you make a decision to take drugs, then imo it's your decision, but given the proper information about how long those drugs may be present in your system, I think most mothers would make a choice not to do them whilst pregnant or breastfeeding.

The point here is that the woman mentioned in the OP is ill-informed about how long it could take for the drugs to clear from her breastmilk.

The fact that it sounds like it will be about 36 hours - from late friday night until Sunday sometime, is positive. Most of it will have cleared. However, if she wants to be safer, she would wait until last feed Monday/ first feed Tuesday.

Personally, I wouldn't bother, I would and did wait until I had finished breastfeeding, but that's not what's in question here.

Rantmum · 01/02/2008 12:14

Man, I am sure everyone here who takes illegal drugs is of the "too cool for school" variety, but even if you take the illegal element out of the equation there are plenty of reasons to not take "pleasure" drugs (including alcohol)when you are bfing. Furthermore, equating the choice to go out and get shit-faced for fun with taking drugs for a medical condition is totally disingenuous.

I "sincerely" hope whoever said that was joking.

AbbeyA · 01/02/2008 12:57

I should think that in answer to the opening post is that there is not a definate answer as to how long it stays in your system-it would depend so much on the individual.
I think that it doesn't go with being a parent-are you going to say to your DC when they are 18 yrs that taking a line of coke is a perfectly normal activity and you will introduce them to your drug dealer?

beaniesteve · 01/02/2008 13:07

"People who take drugs like Coke or e don't deserve to have babies"

that's a truly shocking awful thing to say!
How do you feel about women who don't take drugs but have partners who take drugs occassionaly?

Rantmum · 01/02/2008 13:15

Why is it a shocking awful thing to say? One of the things that was fundamental to me when I chose to have children was that my OWN needs/ hedonistic desires were no longer a priority. In order to be deserving of this innocent life, I needed to develop a certain level of self-lessness, and control over myself which meant giving up certain attitudes and practices that I considered to be part of my "irresponsible youth". I think this "each to their own" attitude is bollocks, my choices and behaviours and ultimately the children that I eventually send out into the world will be part of a society. I have responsibilities, not just rights. I am apparently unusual/old fashioned for thinking this way, but if you judge me for it then don't expect me not to judge those you don't do things MY way.

AbbeyA · 01/02/2008 13:21

I agree Rantmum, once you have a child their needs come first and they don't deserve to be fed cocaine with their breast milk!
Any parent's (mother or father)shouldn't be taking illegal drugs, whether they are an addict or for the 'so called'recreational purposes.To my mind the addict has more excuse as presumably they can't help it.

MotherFunk · 01/02/2008 14:14

Message withdrawn

LadyVictorianSqualor · 01/02/2008 14:24

I think saying that someone who is a parent should think very bloody carefully about doing anything that risks their life is true, but that includes flying or bungee jumping, peopel take risks, it doesnt mean they are going to harm their children, what's important here is that the person taking cocaine whilst bfing knows how long she needs to wait.

Rantmum · 01/02/2008 14:29

But it seems that you ARE getting into all of this because it seems to really upset you that there are "holier than thou" folk (me I guess) who have an opinion.

I make no apologies for being anti-drugs. My father was an alchoholic and I know how the belief that "what I am doing is a personal choice and is no-one elses busines" harms others quite profoundly. I am painfully aware as a child of a person who abused a perfectly legal substance to excess that his choice was not right and it damaged me and actually in some situations he didn't deserve me (and I deserved better than him tanked up).

Just because i get through my life substance free, and have to enjoy myself, deal with all the angst without regular crutches like drugs or alcohol, does not make me sanctimonious. It makes me someone who has learned the lesson of their upbringing.

Anyway who decides that it is a step to far to have that opinion? You? And why are your opinions more righteous than mine? Btw I was not the person who made the comment, but I don't understand why you are so insensed by it, as I think the point of view is completely valid.

MotherFunk · 01/02/2008 14:42

Message withdrawn

Rantmum · 01/02/2008 14:46

My dad didn't think that a) he had a problem and b) that it infringed on my (or anyone elses) life

That is the nature of the beast.

Well I disagree with the sentiment but I think people are entitled to hold that opinion.

But as far as I am aware being gay is not a choice, taking drugs is...

MotherFunk · 01/02/2008 14:51

Message withdrawn

Rantmum · 01/02/2008 14:54

Also, it wasn't actually me that made that statement, and I would probably have chosen a different method of expressing my concern about choosing to take drugs and bfing, but that aside it would not change the basic belief that I have that it, in no way, is of benefit to children and especially bf babies.

It is a choice that parents make, and as I say my OPINION is that it is a poor choice. You don't have to like or accept my opinion. Hate me if it helps, but calling me names and swearing at me won't change my opinion.

princessosyth · 01/02/2008 14:55

Jesus Christ! MN never ceases to amaze me. I am shocked by the views of people on this thread!

mumzyof2 · 01/02/2008 14:56

Does SMOKING and DRINKING come under 'taking drugs'? Because both cigarettes and alcohol are drugs, they both kill you, and detrimental to your health, and the smoke is to the children it is smoked around.
Do THOSE people not deserve to have children then? You cannot just say 'people who take drugs shouldnt be allowed children', because 'DRUGS' covers a massive range of people, and is likely to affend more then not.

mumzyof2 · 01/02/2008 14:58

Also, although me and dp have put our drug taking days behind us, dp still smokes weed, at night, in the garage, after ds is in bed, and away from me. To say he doesnt deserve children,..hes a million times a better dad to my son that the non drug taking arse hole that fucked off when I got pregnant, and therefore decided never to see my ds after his 1st birthday. Some people that do drugs are MUCH better parents than some people that dont!

LadyVictorianSqualor · 01/02/2008 14:59

Rantmum, My exdp is a cocaine addict, this has affected my DC's lives, but there was a time I used to smoke cannabis, this didnt affect them, there is a difference between using something, be it drugs or alcohol and abusing them.

I can understand your POV, but I agree with motherfunk that t ins't fair to say peopel who do drugs shouldnt have children, I have known people that took much better care of their children that occasionally took drugs than those who would get on their high horse about it.

I don't agree with parents taking drugs, mainly because once about 18months ago I took ecstasy, something I had done regularly as a teen and it took me about three days to get back to normal, the same goes for times I have drank heavily, if I am going to expect to be looking after my children the next day I need to think about what state my 'enjoyment' will leave me in.

Parents that smoke affect their children more than some who take drugs, parents who drink, parents who are agressive in nature, parents who are too career minded, parents who dont cook good food, parents who sleep around etc etc, all those things can be traits of bad parenting, doesnt mean they will be bad parents, it's about minimising the risks, and I bet there are parents out there who are great parents in every other sense that do one of the above.

twelveyeargap · 01/02/2008 14:59

Very naive to say that your personal drug use doesn't affect anyone else? What about the poor sods in Columbia who get paid pittance to make the stuff and inhale the fumes all day?

And that's coming from me... It's something I have to decide whether I can live with, but I don't try to pretend that drug use has no effect on anyone but me.

LadyVictorianSqualor · 01/02/2008 15:01

Sorry, took a while to type that so x-posted with a lot of people!

Rantmum · 01/02/2008 15:04

Man, I didn't say that - look back over the threads if it concerns you that much and find out who did. In any case, noone said they SHOULDN't have children.

I didn't realise that disagreeing with smoking and taking recreational drugs and binge drinking whilst raising babies put me in such a minority.

I will crawl back into my puritanical cave, then.

MotherFunk · 01/02/2008 15:11

Message withdrawn

MotherFunk · 01/02/2008 15:14

Message withdrawn

princessosyth · 01/02/2008 15:19

No one actually deserves to have babies, drugs or no drugs. Taking illegal drugs is not the most responsible thing to do when you have children. You may be a great parent in other respects but just don't go expecting to win a mum of year award any time soon.