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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think drugs and breastfeeding don't go well together.

145 replies

Sushipaws · 30/01/2008 22:14

Now, I'm not a prude, each to thier own, I don't care if people want to get wrecked at the weekend, many of my friends do. But.....

I have just got off the phone to my mate who was out at the weekend with a girl I know. The girl had a ds about 5 months ago and moved away to be nearer her parents. She was up visiting for the weekend and had left ds with her husband. They went out on Friday and Saturday night. On the Friday night she took E and Coke but said she couldn't on the Saturday night as it wouldn't be out her system by the time she bf her ds on Sunday night.

I was really shocked, surely it takes longer than one night to leave her blood stream. I told my mate I thought the girl was an idiot and very selfish. My mate said I was over reacting and she knows a few mum's who have bf and occationally taken drugs.

Some expert advice needed here, would it still be in her system?

OP posts:

MotherFunk · 01/02/2008 15:25

Message withdrawn

Rantmum · 01/02/2008 15:29

You are right MotherFunk, I didn't think it was shocking or awful, maybe a little extreme but nothing that would shock me. But I am of the opinion that very few of us deserve our children, myself included, and I do not think any "recreational" activity that is purely for personal enjoyment and MAY have a detrimental effect if passed on in breast milk is worth it. Anyway, as I don't take drugs and I am not bfing anymore the debate is a moot point for me.

I apologise to anyone who feels unduly and unfairly criticised by anything that I DID say (I can't apologise on behalf of the person who made the statement about deserving children, cos I have no idea if they are sorry) because it was not my intention to hurt any feelings and whoever said that there are lots of things that can affect a person's ability to be a good parent is quite right. I am not always a good parent, I have plenty of personal flaws and inadequacies and I try hard to work on them and/or compensate for them. Early on, I decided that one of those flaws was drug taking and binge-drinking, so I stopped. If you truly think that these things are fine then what do you care what I think anyway. I am just an anonymous MNer.

MotherFunk · 01/02/2008 15:35

Message withdrawn

AbbeyA · 01/02/2008 15:38

I will join you in your puritanical cave, Rantmum! I only made a comment because I was astounded that having children and taking 'recreational' drugs was put forward as a normal, reasonable life choice! When you know lives that have been blighted and families that have been torn apart by drug addicts (who assumed they were different and it was only occasional use)then you do become judgemental.
Before you give money to a drug dealer you ought to be thinking of the poor people who are producing it in 3rd world countries, and of all the crime that is associated with it for example the poor girls from former Eastern bloc countries who are tricked into working in brothels.All this is to make a few people rich-is your quick fix really worth all the misery?
People may get addicted to alcohol but at least it is produced by legitimate companies who pay decent wages and taxes.You can also celebrate your DC being 18 by going to the pub for a drink or a nice meal with wine. Are you honestly trying to tell me that when your DCs reach 18 you will phone your drug dealer and introduce your DC to cocaine? Unless you want your DC to be out on a Saturday night doing drugs then you shouldn't be doing it yourself.IMO.

yetanothername · 01/02/2008 16:12

Oh whine whine I'm a victim cos no-one agrees with my illegal crutch and won't even listen that it's actually perfectly fine and acceptable really

mumzyof2 · 01/02/2008 16:19

AbbeyA - I take it EVERYTHING you buy is fairtrade then?

yetanothername · 01/02/2008 16:31

Which means: I cannot mount a good defence so I will attack.

mumzyof2 · 01/02/2008 16:33

No, it means that people who take drugs were being slated, not because of any other impact, apart from the people who make it get paid rubbish wages! I take it that if that is the problem, that person buys all fairtrade then! It was just a point.

beaniesteve · 01/02/2008 16:36

"Why is it a shocking awful thing to say? One of the things that was fundamental to me when I chose to have children was that my OWN needs/ hedonistic desires were no longer a priority. In order to be deserving of this innocent life, I needed to develop a certain level of self-lessness, and control over myself which meant giving up certain attitudes and practices that I considered to be part of my "irresponsible youth". I think this "each to their own" attitude is bollocks, my choices and behaviours and ultimately the children that I eventually send out into the world will be part of a society. I have responsibilities, not just rights. I am apparently unusual/old fashioned for thinking this way, but if you judge me for it then don't expect me not to judge those you don't do things MY way"

Because the idea that some people 'deserve' children and others don't is just horrible.

As it happens I don't indulge in coke or other drugs, I have never used coke and I never would as I think it's a horrible drug and it makes people into horrible people while they use it, but I really don't think it's fair ro say that people who use drugs or have used drugs are not deserving enough to be parents.

mumzyof2 · 01/02/2008 16:39

Shall we just let this thread die?

Trolleydolly71 · 01/02/2008 17:57

Message withdrawn

AbbeyA · 01/02/2008 18:31

Yes I do try to buy Fair Trade as much as possible. In South America the cultivation of coca leaves has caused deforestation, destruction of habitats and soil erosion.The pesticides used on the crop go into the rivers and streams. In the prime growing area people and livestock are sick because they rely on the rivers and wells for water.I expect people will say this is the same for coffee, but the leaves of the coca have to be stomped and crushed into a thick paste.Millions of litres of sulphuric acid, ethyl ether and acetone are poured directly on to the ground.Drugs traffickers are enormously wealthy, they employ thousands of people from the farmer in the field (I don't expect the average farm worker sees much of this money)to the chemist and lawyer.They have so much money that they are above the law.
I worry about spending £2.50 on coffee that is not Fair Trade and yet people are spending hundreds on a product that they don't need that is doing untold damage to the environment and making unscrupulous, manipulative and cruel drug barons even richer-just to have 'fun' at a weekend!!!

YOMO · 01/02/2008 18:51

I will also join you in your puritanical cave Rantmum, Abbey A.

spicemonster · 01/02/2008 18:57

I take your point about coke but what about e? That doesn't cause untold destruction, it's made in a lab.

Back to the OP, there little information on bfing and recreational drugs because it's almost impossible to carry out any reliable studies on how much is carried in the breast milk. So even if the mother in question had carried out her own research, I doubt she would have been able to find out anything very concrete.

I wonder whether all those of you who are so authoritarian re drugs take the same attitude towards alcohol? Or do you also think that any alcohol is incompatible with being a 'good' parent?

AbbeyA · 01/02/2008 19:03

Binge drinking is incompatible with being a 'good'parent-drinking in moderation is fine.
Glad to have another person in the cave YOMO who thinks that you have to become responsible, once you are a parent.
No one who takes drugs has answered my question as to whether they are going to celebrate their DCs 18th birthday with an introduction to their drug dealer?

spicemonster · 01/02/2008 19:12

No, what a bizarre question. I wouldn't celebrate my DS's 18th by buying him a bottle of vodka either. If he takes drugs responsibly I wouldn't have a problem with it tbh. Just because something is illegal, I don't think that necessarily makes it wrong. I have a lot more of an issue with alcohol tbh.

YOMO · 01/02/2008 19:22

Spicemonster I take it you didn't read my comments last night. Try telling my mum and dad that e doesn't cause untold destruction.

I am not authoritarian re drugs I am just very anti drugs. I have seen first hand the devastation they cause, and my brother was not an addict, he only took them occasionally when he went clubbing.

AbbeyA · 01/02/2008 19:35

So what is right about taking illegal drugs-other than you like it?

spicemonster · 01/02/2008 19:40

YOMO - I'm really sorry about your brother, that's a terrible tragedy.

I believe that if drugs were legalised, many deaths would be averted. But this isn't the thread for that discussion and I can see you two have already made your mind up so I'll bid you good night

mumzyof2 · 01/02/2008 19:57

Yes, lets just leave this thread, shall we?

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