Those not wanting children, what’s your plan for old age?

[Katelyn88]

before people pounce on me:
I do NOT expect my children to be my carers, but I expect my children to ARRANGE care and keep an eye on the quality of care and finances.

Those not wanting children - who will supervise your care and finances when you are too weak/forgetful ?

It’s a genuine question. My parents both looked after their parents. Granny lived with us until she passed away. Me and my sister live within 5 miles from parents and inlaws live around the corner from BIL. I have no idea how childless people manage.

POA with my solicitor should my partner predecease me, with the money I'm ring fencing now set aside for fees (as well as the potential sale of my assets) with an ongoing review and monitoring up until that same solicitor (or their firm at least, my solicitor has a few years on me) is executing my will. I have a care home in mind as well as a retirement village option so for now my partner and sister know my preferences for a whole manner of scenarios including organ donation etc and are aware of the POA process should they feel its necessary.

I also have friends and family members aplenty.

Childless is a dickish term btw, do better.

If you were truly just curious and wondering how people do it I doubt you'd be arguing with posters telling you exactly how.

I think you probably under estimate human survival instinct. Don’t you think that everyone (or most) people think this way when they are well - oh I’ll end it prematurely. If it was that straightforward it would be biggest cause of death in the elderly- suicide.
In reality it’s like cooking a frog in a pot of water…comes on gradually until it’s too late to do much…there are a lot of lonely, depressed elderly people but human instinct for survival prevents them from taking their lives even at that point.

i think where people do have self determination to end their lives prematurely is where they already know they will die soon but in extreme pain, discomfort etc and it is a way to bypass an extremely horrible death they can’t control, with an easier death they can. In some ways that is a form of mental survival - they can’t face the horror of what is coming their way, rightly so.

I think that "instinct" is partly cultural. In countries where there's the option of legal euthanasia, some people do use it. It's much harder if you have to either journey abroad or do a DIY job.

I am happily childfree, but would NEVER want or expect any adult children to organise my care etc - that would be outrageous. I will either do it myself, or pay for help, or rely on Social Services - plenty of people manage perfectly well without their kids running round after them. The OP may get a nasty shock when their children are unwilling/unavailable/unable to look after them.
And, yet again, this seems to be another stick with which to beat childfree people - just leave us alone!

"I made a HUGE MISTAKE not having kids and now my future is doomed! Even if I tried having kids and couldn't through no fault of my own!" gnashes teeth

Oooh we read about these on here often.
"Mum is moving on our street expecting support but we don't want to do it and we can't because we have our own responsibilitoes. It turned out mum just counted on us and has no other plans"

To not rely on anyone and to provide for myself to afford hopefully carers/support or a home. There. Same answer if I had kids. I wouldn’t rely on them.

Parents what’s your plan? Can you know for definite that your offspring will be around for you or maybe just dump you till they gain their inheritance? Or even go total non contact Really not as cut and dry.

Its such a predictable question 🙄why does being childfree annoy some parents more than vice versa. I’m happy for my family and friends who got what they wanted and had longed for children.
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Gosh thank you this is a fantastic thread and has really made me think. I'm off to the sperm bank in the morning.

I've read all of your posts OP, and I'm not sure what you are actually asking, or why.

Having children doesn't guarantee that they will look after you in your old age. They might have disabilities and need looking after themselves, move abroad, move far away, go low or no contact with you, or worse case scenario, you might outlive them.

I have worked in a very naice care home, plenty of the residents were childless or had outlived their children. But you know what they had instead of kids? Money. Lots of money, so that they could afford the eye watering fees of £800 per week (this was a good few years ago).

Some of them were also wealthy enough to pay a solicitor to act as their lasting power of attorney for financial and health matters.

Once I'm no longer in a position to fend fir myself I don't suppose I'll care that much.

I dunno... maybe get a toyboy

You beat me to it. Was about to say the same thing. Is this “kick the childless people” day. First that really insensitive thread where the OP was basically saying you are a useless human if you don’t have children and now this 🙄

For me personally, with or without kids, I hope that assisted dying is around by the time I get into my 80s (if I make it that far). I don't think I'll have bags of money to pay care fees, and don't to end up in any care home, even a naice one. I should really sort out an advanced directive.

You mean "those who don't have children who are willing and able to take care of you in old age".

Absolutely, and setting things up as if parents and those without children are basically opposed factions is senseless, anyway. I had my son late, I’ve spent far more of my life as a non-parent than as a parent, and parenthood hasn’t fundamentally changed who I am. It certainly hasn’t altered my plans for arranging my own care when I’m old.

@Katelyn88
Those not wanting children - who will supervise your care and finances when you are too weak/forgetful ?

OP why do you think these people would be on a forum called 'mumsnet'? Very odd

Social services will not step in to stop your carers stealing from you.

Yeah yeah I know not all carers steal some are lovely.

Unfortunately I’ve only dealt with three (for different family members) and all of those three stole.

OP why do you think these people would be on a forum called 'mumsnet'? Very odd

For the parking threads, obviously.

Family members steal too.

Yeah, they frisk your ovaries before they let you join. 🙄

What makes u thinks children will even look care for u. Having them dont mean they will not grow up to be selfish people!!!

I should have enough money to go to the lovely care home which looked after my mum for three very happy years - happy for us both, in that I could be a daughter and not a carer and she could get the care she needed without feeling beholden to me.

What an exciting reason to have kids. To stop your carers from stealing from you.

Feel like OP just wants some desperate validation for her life choices, so she decides to berate the child free so she can get the answer she wants " Oh no! You are so right! I wish I had had DC. You made the right choice".

Me too. I won't be hanging around for that.

To be fair we got to page 7, on a thread about CHILDFREE people before the bingo why are you on a parenting forum type post *head tilt