Those not wanting children, what’s your plan for old age?

[Katelyn88]

before people pounce on me:
I do NOT expect my children to be my carers, but I expect my children to ARRANGE care and keep an eye on the quality of care and finances.

Those not wanting children - who will supervise your care and finances when you are too weak/forgetful ?

It’s a genuine question. My parents both looked after their parents. Granny lived with us until she passed away. Me and my sister live within 5 miles from parents and inlaws live around the corner from BIL. I have no idea how childless people manage.

Screenshot has been sent to mumsnet.

It does actually. "Life admin" is taken care of in retirement communities there, and everything is "arranged". I already have a family member who lives in one of those. But I don't think you actually want to know because you appear to have a certain view of what health care is like there.

FreeDice didn't post the deleted comment about shaving, fairydustt did.

You owe FreeDice an apology, or at least stop accusing* *them of something they didn't do

Hi folks

Can we have a bit of peace and love on this thread now, please?

what are so many child free people doing on mumsnet?
Most of the most popular boards have absolutely nothing to do with being a parent.

From
"Those not wanting children..."

To
"what are so many child free people doing on mumsnet?"

There's something a bit twisted about asking a question specifically inviting a demographic to reply, and then being outraged that demographic is on the platform to reply to your question!

I'm not wrong though am I.
You've been nothing short of horribly behaved towards people on this thread and as soon as someone calls you out you report the thread.

Actually having read some of this thread back OP you just sound a bit immature and sheltered. Little bit racist too in places, but i'm sure that's unintentional.
I hope your children take care of you the way you want them to, but none of us can guarantee our kids will even be around when we are older.

There are lots of ways of living a life and many people have to be independent and live life unsupported at all different ages.

OP how come you know so little about POA’s & are demanding to be told about retirement communities & how they work? Are you not capable of looking into this yourself? If you genuinely had wanted to know what will happen to you if your own children can’t act on your behalf you would have said as much in your OP rather than trying to claim this is your intent once you got rumbled for being objectionable & tone deaf.

I think the answer to your existential query is that with no family, friends, professionals, neighbours or good samaritans to intervene on your behalf it will be the police, social & hospital services & ultimately the coroner. Ok? Hope that’s cleared it up for you.

Changeyncchange

“As many others have pointed out having children is no guarantee. They can move abroad or have their own needs or pass away or just be arseholes. There is no bullet proof plan for support. We all just hope for the best“

not being willing to provide care for an elderly parent doesn’t make someone an arsehole.

I would hope that even those with children would do as much leg work themselves as possible when it comes to old age plans. They have their own lives and it’s not really fair to expect them to drop everything to sort out their parents’ lives.

it’s not really fair to expect them to drop everything to sort out their parents’ lives
It is extremely unfair I agree, however in my experience humans as they age become increasingly blinkered, see only their own needs and seem unable to take the concerns of others seriously .....it's as if they lose the ability to keep as many plates spinning in their heads. I don't think they can help it 🤷

More and more women find themselves with young children and elderly parents. It is a tough combination.

It’s unfair to assume that there’s an expectation. There was no expectation on my parents’ part at all. Everything I did for them - and it was a lot during the last couple of years - was entirely my choice. I did what I did because I loved them and I wanted their lives to be as comfortable as possible. Most of my friends have done exactly the same.

I did what I did because I loved them and I wanted their lives to be as comfortable as possible. Most of my friends have done exactly the same
How lovely, you must have such precious memories 💗🦋🕊️

How patronising and unpleasant.

Childless people on MUMS net, making personal attacks and baseless accusations for just asking a simple question: “what’s your plan for old age?”

You’re being disingenuous. It was a loaded question the way you asked it. “Those not wanting children, what’s your plan for old age?”. As though those who have children won’t have to worry.

What do you mean you agree? I said I don't expect that from my children and you said in your OP that you do.

And yes of course people have a choice. These arrangements, like ensuring you have an up to date will, can be put in place when you are young and healthy by engaging the services of professionals such as solicitors, and then updated as required over the years, just like a will.

But it’s not unfair to assume the OP of this thread has an expectation. She’s said so in her opening post.

She’s changed it all now to ‘oh I wanted advice in case my children don’t do it’ but that’s not what she originally posted at all. She posted that she expects her children to arrange her care when she’s old and demanded what those ‘childless’ people would do, returning occasionally to scoff at their replies.

returning occasionally to scoff at their replies

Before having a spectucular malfunction as a grand finale.

Who wouldn't feel insecure in their position. Some people are self aware enough to know they are nasty and that people will not stick around. Including kids.

I disagree but it's likely we have different definitions of support. I mean anything from moving in with a parent and delivering hands on care to supporting them to arrange private care and an online shop etc. I suspect you are just thinking of the former example.