Those not wanting children, what’s your plan for old age?

[Katelyn88]

before people pounce on me:
I do NOT expect my children to be my carers, but I expect my children to ARRANGE care and keep an eye on the quality of care and finances.

Those not wanting children - who will supervise your care and finances when you are too weak/forgetful ?

It’s a genuine question. My parents both looked after their parents. Granny lived with us until she passed away. Me and my sister live within 5 miles from parents and inlaws live around the corner from BIL. I have no idea how childless people manage.

So is this not a UK thing?

Also you explained how you got it but not what it's for. I would be interested to hear.

Coming back to this thread, I note so many posters have said they won't take care of their parents. No judgement: just noting that having DC doesn't mean you will be taken care of.

@JaneFondue I wonder how many will end up taking care of their parents when it comes to it at least when it comes to helping arranging care. It's also easy to rely on one of the parents to take care of the other but what happens when there is only one left or both go at the same time

I have lovely DC but don't want them involved in my care. When the time comes I hope to be mobile enough to go for a long country walk in the winter with a bottle of vodka.

@Changeyncchange
See my previous post and maybe YOU could enlighten us about what appear to be your reservations. Thanks. I can revoke mine at any time whilst composi mentos so will be interested to hear if I should.

If you are mobile enough to go for a long country walk, why in hell would you want to kill yourself? Loads of people can't go for long country walks, but can still go out for lunch with family members, meet friends at the pub, play bridge or chess or whatever their hobby is.

I agree. Generally a partner cares for the one less well unless they are both very elderly.

Oh wow! You are moving your mum in and I’m clingy because I’m expecting my kids to OVERSEE the care I pay for and my finances! Talk about double standards!!

I have a child, but don’t fancy being a burden and too ill or addled to care for myself, so Dignitas is the plan.

😂😂

Childless people on MUMS net, making personal attacks and baseless accusations for just asking a simple question: “what’s your plan for old age?”

PLAN and HOPE are two different things.

Everyone HOPES to stay healthy, mobile and mentally active till the end. If things don’t turn out the way you HOPED, what’s the PLAN!?

At what point would you make that call?

Having worked in a care home, I can assure you not all children do what's best for their parents or even bother to make sure they are okay. I've seen residents kept alive against their best interest and elderly parents who were wonderful parents treated appallingly by their children. I hope you never get to experience this but having children is no guarantee you will be well cared for. I entend to enjoy my life to the full and have no worries about leaving an inheritance behind.

Well what's your plan for if it doesn't go the way you hope and your kids can't or won't?

I don’t know! That’s why I asked so I can plan! And I’m getting attacked because people don’t like questions the plan is to bury head in sand and live in denial.

Apologies, I got you mixed up with somebody else.

I have no reservations. Your plan sounds great. Some people throw around POA like it means that some sort of magic private entity will appear and sort everything out negating the need for any family or friend involvement.

No one is burying their heads in the sand and living in denial. They have answered your questions and you have shot down every explanation very rudely, as though it angers you that they dare have an alternative. (And not just the ones about assisted suicide.)

Not sure what you want from people. No wonder they think you're being goady.

Maybe we should just go back in time, procreate, and spend our offspring's childhood rigorously training them to prepare for our old age.

Well what’s your PLAN for if your children don’t/can’t/won’t meet your expectation to care for you? It’s the same question. You’re just comforting yourself that your choice to have children was incredibly clever and will guarantee you top level care in later life. I imagine that brings you some comfort, but in reality it’s better to accept the lack of control over the future. You may end up with children who don’t want to care for you. Elderly people without children may manage fine alone/be cared for by somebody else.

Why the concern and anger over other people’s choices when you’re so afraid to actually examine your own? If you’re happy in your expectations that your children will shoulder the burden of caring for you then why are you so worried about what others might or might not do?

There is always a bit of burying your head in the sand because no one knows what will happen. What if you have one child and they die before you? What happens if you and your partner both need care? What happens if government policy changes and you have to pay for medical care but can not afford to? Or if there are no carers or homes available in your area? Or if your house burns to the ground and insurance refuse to pay out as they say it was your fault? Or your adult children steal all your money from you?

One of the facts most people learn as they get older is there is only so much planning you can do. But things often happen you do not foresee.

And the fact is if you wanted to start a thread about advice, you shouldn’t have opened it with ‘I expect my children to care for me - what will all you childless people do?’ Obviously that wouldn’t get the advice you supposedly wanted.

Maybe start a new thread asking about people’s plans for old age and advice on how you can prepare in case you need care. Because if it’s for advice for you then what’s it got to do with random child free people?

Yeah the level of anger in her responses perplex me

Childless people on MUMS net, making personal attacks and baseless accusations for just asking a simple question: “what’s your plan for old age?”

You've been told not to use childless. The presence of childfree people on mumsnet is so overdone as a topic as well. Face it OP, you started a grim thread and you aren't smart enough to convince anyone it was out of innocent curiosity/research for your own back up plan.

Otherwise the question would have been "what plans does ANYONE have for old age and what contingencies do they have".

Childless people on MUMS net, making personal attacks and baseless accusations for just asking a simple question: “what’s your plan for old age?

When and where? Some are a bit defensive but that's understandable given that the undeniable implication of the question is that of you don't have kids nobody will care about you.

Why do you think the children-havers and children-not havers lives are going to be dramatically different. Some people will end up in a home or with carers for a whole variety of reasons, the decisions of their children being at the top of the list.
Don't expect just because you have children its going to be happy extended family ever after.
You just have to read some of the threads/media to know its never going to happen.