Those not wanting children, what’s your plan for old age?

[Katelyn88]

before people pounce on me:
I do NOT expect my children to be my carers, but I expect my children to ARRANGE care and keep an eye on the quality of care and finances.

Those not wanting children - who will supervise your care and finances when you are too weak/forgetful ?

It’s a genuine question. My parents both looked after their parents. Granny lived with us until she passed away. Me and my sister live within 5 miles from parents and inlaws live around the corner from BIL. I have no idea how childless people manage.

Maybe you just surround yourself with twats because this is not held up by the data.

It's not a question I'd have asked as it wasn't one we took into consideration when we decided on a family or not.

In the end we could only have one DC. It's looks highly likely she'll live abroad in a few years time and she's already said she's concerned about not being around for us. I've just told her to go out and live her life, end of.

Family isn’t just children. I have a large wider family. And several life long friends some of which have children and some like me and my partner happily childfree. So we’ve all agreed to look out for each other id and when needed. My niece works in a care home, children may be involved in getting them there but they quite often leave them too it once done. She gets upset at the lack of residents with family who barely visit.

Yep.

I can't sugar coat it. There are a lot of boring practical issues involved in arranging care. Like going visiting care homes, sorting paperwork, moving furniture. Most things can be done privately but that is rarely going to be as effective as when it's done by somebody who actually cares about you and is wants to follow your wishes. I have to stress that does not have to be a child, I have come across amazing advocates and unpaid carers who are not related to the person at all.

Don't be so disingenuous OP. Either you're an idiot or you think the posters here are.
You didn't ask what a plan b should look like, which is something everyone should have, but specifically asked about what people without children were doing and then proceeded to pick at the responses.

The faux wide eyed "i have no idea how childless people manage" mixed with "I expect my children to arrange and monitor my care" fools absolutely no one into thinking this is a thread about sensible contingency plans.

What is with all the threads attacking childfree people lately?

Our choices and arrangements for our future are none of your god damn business.

Absolutely. I said in am earlier post and just then in my cross post that this support is not necessarily a child or even a blood relative.

I also stated earlier that I cared for my childless great aunt and uncle up until their death. Not out of obligation but because I loved them immensely and wanted to do it.

OP messed up by couching it in terms of people without children, but I think it's a really big issue for anyone with children too, if you don't want them to be giving a large part of their lives to it, should you become dependent

She didn't mess up; she did it deliberately, because it's a favourite way of goading the childless/childfree: "See you might be enjoying your freedom now, but you'll pay later with your miserable, friendless old age". (Ignores the fact that many people without kids would have loved them, of course)

Well fuck that. I have been the carer to both my parents, and I'm an HCP, so I'm not in the least starry-eyed about old age. But I'm fucked if I will bring another human being into existence as an insurance policy against it.

Exactly it’s the smug silent suggestion on these threads that’s a the same, that while we are younger we have nothing to fill our time, that we are vapid or wasteful and just care about holidays/material possessions. That we don’t feel ‘real’ true love and relationships. It’s so sad for us.

Then we the childfree are elderly we are just going to be so sad and lonely with no one around to look after or look out for us! We will get robbed and abused because we never reproduced into a climate changing disaster of a planet.

Let’s face it in 40 years when I’m classed as elderly if I’m still here who knows what the state of our society and planets going to be anyway!

This is an area that concerns me - my experience of supporting elderly relatives has pretty much one constant - The person receiving care is stubborn and reticent to engage with support! I am not so naive to consider that I will be any easier! So my plan is to keep my cognitive health as good as my physical health (No guarantees but everything helps), and hope I realise when things need arranging.

You can arrange your affairs as much as possible, child free or not, but in my experience the elderly even without dementia are systematically disenfranchised from managing their care. Dependence on new tech, disappearance of post offices and GP appointments never mind home visits- managing money, bills and health is overwhelming and SS have minimal capacity. As for employing a solicitor to oversee it - at £200 an hour? I hope there's a better solution!

You didn't. You were being twat. Now you backing off. Did you firget to NC or smth.

Immigrating when needing care 😂😂😂
And you accuse people of sitting on clouds😂

Tbh i think you absolutely should have plan B, because if you are judgy and insufferable like this irl, I can easily forsee retirement spent alone...

Well I have children but as a family with everyone having additional needs on the asd/adhd spectrum I have no expectations of my children being competent enough to do any arrangements or decision making on my behalf when I am demented. I can only hope for a swift death before it comes to that, but if I am not granted that I will need to appoint someone else, not my immediate family, to cope with this burden. Yanbu to consider that there needs to be something in place for people who don't have children who can do this for them but yabvu and ablist to assume that people can avoid this situation by procreating.

Also, for the childfree in the thread, just because thr person advocating for you/caring for you/supporting you to arrange care isn't a child or relative doesn't mean they have less legal standing.

There is no bonus to having kids, you don't need kids specifically. You need good relationships with people who care about it. It's better if they're younger for obvious reason.

Oh ffs. I am a carer for an 88 year old woman whose 2 sons now live in Australia as it happens.
She has a lot of support from other relatives, neighbors and carers. She lives in sheltered accommodation.
Even if I did have children, I wouldn't expect them to take care of me. There are too many ifs and buts.

Also having worked in care homes, there is zero guarantee that having children means they'll come and visit you often, if at all

Absolutely @Zebrasz , my child is not here to care for me, I am here to care for her.

Is there some MAGA type movement, MMGA, to make Mumsnet to get rid of them blody childfree, who are coming here taking their threads?

Indeed, it really seems to be a case of sticking the knife into the child free this thread.

exactly! And that still counts as “independent” apparently 🤦‍♀️

if you are too frail, how are you going to do all the paperwork etc for dignitas?
and when is “too frail” ?

There is something extraordinarily ugly about bringing children into the world just to meet your needs.

My plan is to either live collectively with friends, or, more likely, just die. Such is the world.

That's a really good idea, for all of us not just child free.

People who “plan” to be independent and mentally stable until the last minute, take a bow!

and people who are going to Switzerland !

What you are saying sounds like “if I fall down and break my legs, I’ll run to the nearest A&E straightaway. I won’t burden the ambulance service like other mortals so”

Go read that again please 🙏🏻